I have come to realize what works for me actually.
I tend to prefer women who have had a hard life, are a bit tough minded (there is a certain type of tough mindedness that comes with struggle that I seem to be attracted to), can be a bit nerdy and awkward at times, tends to have similar interests to me, oriented towards parenthood (in my experience, their parenting styles match mine), and knows who they are and is ready to fight for what they believe in. Inside that hard outer shell is a very sweet and loving person who just wants to be happy and is capable of great amounts of joy when things are going well. A person like this is who they are and is never ashamed of themselves.
So basically, in this area, that seems to equate to a southern, nerdy, badass type.
Unfortunately these people seem to not be common, I only meet someone like this every few months. But we hit it off every time and without a hitch, conversation and spending time just happens on its own.
The last few women I have been seriously attracted to (at least in a way deeper than just looks) have been variations on this theme.