My son has been after to me to take him to his favorite Chinese place for a couple of weeks, so last nite I took him. They have a buffet with some good black-pepper-chicken and shrimp, decent sushi, and a variety of other good stuff.
So anyway, we went and ate. This place is apparently run by a family and most of the servers are young-adult children or nieces and nephews of the owners. Service can be a bit iffy sometimes, but hey it is a buffet; all they need to do is keep the sweet tea topped off once in a while.
The waitress brought the bill-tray by before we were finished eating, which is acceptible I suppose. She hadn't been especially prompt with the tea refills, but I was still planning to leave her the usual tip. The bill for the two of us comes to 22.65, and I usually put $25 on the tray and tell them to keep the change.
Now this is a buffet... I figure $2.35 is a decent tip in a place like that for two people, where all the waitress has to do is refill your tea once in a while. It's over ten percent anyway. If it was a fancy restaurant where the wait staff does EVERYTHING for you, I'd leave a bigger tip because they DO more.
We don't usually get in a big hurry, when we go there we like to enjoy it and I'm prone to linger over my last couple of bites and finish off my tea. As I was doing this, the waitress comes back, *picks up the bill-tray from our table and sets it directly in front of me*, and says "You pay now?" kind of pointedly.
I found this to be very rude, and it annoyed me greatly. It seemed like it was either "pay up and get out so I can get more people in here" (it wasn't like they were standing in line outside!) or "I'm worried you might try to skip out without paying" (we've been there several times before, you'd think...)
Either motive offended me. Hey, if I'm paying out 22.65 for dinner for two, don't freaking rush me! Nor does implying I might be a deadbeat endear you to me.
She was standing there staring at me, as if expecting me to interrupt my tea-drinking activities to pay the bill at once. I did so: I put $23 exactly on the tray, handed it to her and said "No change."
Yeah, I was annoyed.
Now SHE gets visibly pissed off, and sharply says "Thirty five cents? Thirty five cents?? I get you change, I get you change right now!" and storms off.
I told my son we were leaving. As we headed for the door, she flounced up to me with the tray, still visibily angry, and says sharply "You take you change!"
I ignored her and walked on. I stopped at the main desk long enough to briefly recount what had happened to the hostess, then walked out without further discussion.
Was I wrong? I mean dang, she was a pretty lousy waitress to start with, but she could have gotten a decent tip if she hadn't been rude and pushy about the bill.
Cultural misunderstanding? Is this some kind of Asian thing? She might be Chinese, but given local demographics she's more likely to be Laotian, Hmong or Korean.
Thoughts?
My son has been after to me to take him to his favorite Chinese place for a couple of weeks, so last nite I took him. They have a buffet with some good black-pepper-chicken and shrimp, decent sushi, and a variety of other good stuff.
So anyway, we went and ate. This place is apparently run by a family and most of the servers are young-adult children or nieces and nephews of the owners. Service can be a bit iffy sometimes, but hey it is a buffet; all they need to do is keep the sweet tea topped off once in a while.
The waitress brought the bill-tray by before we were finished eating, which is acceptible I suppose. She hadn't been especially prompt with the tea refills, but I was still planning to leave her the usual tip. The bill for the two of us comes to 22.65, and I usually put $25 on the tray and tell them to keep the change.
Now this is a buffet... I figure $2.35 is a decent tip in a place like that for two people, where all the waitress has to do is refill your tea once in a while. It's over ten percent anyway. If it was a fancy restaurant where the wait staff does EVERYTHING for you, I'd leave a bigger tip because they DO more.
We don't usually get in a big hurry, when we go there we like to enjoy it and I'm prone to linger over my last couple of bites and finish off my tea. As I was doing this, the waitress comes back, *picks up the bill-tray from our table and sets it directly in front of me*, and says "You pay now?" kind of pointedly.
I found this to be very rude, and it annoyed me greatly. It seemed like it was either "pay up and get out so I can get more people in here" (it wasn't like they were standing in line outside!) or "I'm worried you might try to skip out without paying" (we've been there several times before, you'd think...)
Either motive offended me. Hey, if I'm paying out 22.65 for dinner for two, don't freaking rush me! Nor does implying I might be a deadbeat endear you to me.
She was standing there staring at me, as if expecting me to interrupt my tea-drinking activities to pay the bill at once. I did so: I put $23 exactly on the tray, handed it to her and said "No change."
Yeah, I was annoyed.
Now SHE gets visibly pissed off, and sharply says "Thirty five cents? Thirty five cents?? I get you change, I get you change right now!" and storms off.
I told my son we were leaving. As we headed for the door, she flounced up to me with the tray, still visibily angry, and says sharply "You take you change!"
I ignored her and walked on. I stopped at the main desk long enough to briefly recount what had happened to the hostess, then walked out without further discussion.
Was I wrong? I mean dang, she was a pretty lousy waitress to start with, but she could have gotten a decent tip if she hadn't been rude and pushy about the bill.
Cultural misunderstanding? Is this some kind of Asian thing? She might be Chinese, but given local demographics she's more likely to be Laotian, Hmong or Korean.
Thoughts?
People are hurting in this economy; those who work for tips are hurting worse than others (many of my friends work in the hospitality industry).
For some reason, everyone who can afford to still eats out, even if they can't afford to leave a tip, or feel it economically prudent not to leave one, or to skimp on the tip, or to leave an insulting tip (less than a dollar).
It's got everybody a little high-strung.
Waiters and waitresses have children to support too. They make far less than the regular minimum wage (in my state, they make $2.13 per hour) and the IRS taxes them for the tips it is estimated they'll make over the course of a year.
When the economy takes a crap, and suddenly everybody decides that they can still afford to eat out in restaurants but can no longer afford to tip their servers, well.
Let's just say those who work for tips are a little stressed out right now.
10, as a working waiter I agree that we are working under stress right now. I've just had my hours cut and I honestly don't know what the future holds economically speaking, but that is surely a reason to be more attentive to customers rather than less. We need the tips so we need to be offering even better (which doesn't mean more fawning!) service than ever. This girl that Goshin came across clearly isn't hurting enough.
You did fine.
If someone wants to get pushy and act like an asshole, they don't deserve a tip.
What he said.
Personally, I would've been nastier, so bravo.
It seemed like it was either "pay up and get out so I can get more people in here" (it wasn't like they were standing in line outside!) or "I'm worried you might try to skip out without paying" (we've been there several times before, you'd think...)
Hey, I'm just wondering where the heck she got the idea that shoving the bill in my face while I'm still finishing my meal, and acting like I had to pay it right that second, was a good way to get a nice tip!
If she'd left well enough alone for another five minutes, she'd have gotten a very reasonable tip for a buffet waitress.
You realize that your impression of WHY she wanted you to pay sooner rather than later may have no basis in reality, don't you?
And in fact, there is another possibility, one I've encountered before in all types of restaurants. It's entirely possible that you were this young lady's last customer at the end of her shift. Have you considered that while you "lingered," she needed to finish up her last table and be somewhere else? (This is not an excuse, but a very reasonable possibility.)
Yes, as an American, I would say her "You pay now?" behavior seemed rude, although through personal experience I've learned that such "pushiness" can be quite common among Asians. I used to take San Francisco's Chinatown buses on a daily basis - "pushy" (plus "aggressive, physical, loud, demanding, oblivious") doesn't begin to describe how the Chinese people on those buses interacted with each other or with the non-Chinese passengers.
I suspect at least some of her "You pay now?" brusqueness cultural. Ditto for your reactions.
Do you think, if the waitress had said "I apologize for asking this, but I really need to leave and must finish all transactions before I go. Could you possibly pay now?" it might have sparked an entirely different reaction from you?
(Note: I'm not saying you caused the tiff; seems to me it's more like cultural differences/norms on both sides that led to the altercation.)
i would need to hear her side of the story to make a call whether your behavior during that meal was dickish or reasonableIf her apparent pushiness hadn't annoyed me so, I might have mildly asked "what's your hurry?" and seen what kind of response I got.
after seeing this statement
i would need to hear her side of the story to make a call whether your behavior during that meal was dickish or reasonable
Bud, my interaction with her up until she shoved the bill at me consisted of the following:
Before we sat down, in response to her question about drinks I said "Two sweet teas, please," and smiled.
That was it. The one time our tea got refilled it was actually not her, but a different waitress that refilled it. She got a smile and a nod.
How I could manage to piss someone off when that was the entirety of our interaction is beyond me.
and your presentation may very well be exactly the way it played out
but with your indicated propensity to push the buttons of those serving you, i would need to hear her account of the event to come to a fair and reasonable conclusion
for your sake, i hope it is just as you have presented it
otherwise, like gipper (because he refuses to tip at these restaurants and obviously walks in with a low opinion of the wait staff - only because they are asian), you should anticipate the food service personnel being inclined to tamper with your food and/or drink
Dude - it's a buffet, they can't mess with the food unless they do it for everyone. And I think lugie's float in tea, but I could be wrong. You inclination to not want to make an opinion ... is that because it's Goshin who's a got conservative leanings or just because you're so very unbiased, and like a judge, must hear evidence from both sides to form an opinion. :roll: No one's going to revoke someone's bleeding heart liberal club card if you say something partially negative about a minority waitress, or someone who earns minimum wage - and yes, I apologize for "going there" but it's just ****ing obvious, and it had to be said. Here's where you deny it... so I apologize again. Maybe I'm just a little oversensitive today for some reason.
i can only conclude from your posts that you don't actually want an answer to your question 'was i wrong', unless it is the answer you are seeking
if my honest appraisal offends you, maybe you should not solicit replies to that question on a public board
I'd say you were correct, if you actually MADE an appraisal... otherwise known as "providing an opinion" --- but hey, maybe Goshin can give you the address and phone number and you can give them a call and "get their side of the story".
or i could employ your technique and refuse to read anything about what has been discussed and still offer an ignorant assessment
You could take the occurances at face value... too much to ask apparently.
i can only conclude from your posts that you don't actually want an answer to your question 'was i wrong', unless it is the answer you are seeking
if my honest appraisal offends you, maybe you should not solicit replies to that question on a public board
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