Restaurant tiff: Was I wrong?

[Mell]

In such a situation, I leave as quickly as I can and never go back to that restaurant. Sometimes I tip in the situation and sometimes I dont. I usually do whichever makes the escape quickest and easiest. Rude people are everywhere, and so are nice people. It is never worth wasting time and energy on the rude ones, when one can use the time and energy to move towards the nice ones.

All companies have competition, but I think they sometimes forget that and dont value the customers they went to so much time and expense to build up.

 

[ReverendHellh0und]

People are hurting in this economy; those who work for tips are hurting worse than others (many of my friends work in the hospitality industry).
For some reason, everyone who can afford to still eats out, even if they can't afford to leave a tip, or feel it economically prudent not to leave one, or to skimp on the tip, or to leave an insulting tip (less than a dollar).

It's got everybody a little high-strung.
Waiters and waitresses have children to support too. They make far less than the regular minimum wage (in my state, they make $2.13 per hour) and the IRS taxes them for the tips it is estimated they'll make over the course of a year.
When the economy takes a crap, and suddenly everybody decides that they can still afford to eat out in restaurants but can no longer afford to tip their servers, well.
Let's just say those who work for tips are a little stressed out right now.

All the more reason to not act like an asshole....



I tip 20-30%, unless you suck, then you get nothing.



I don't do buffets though, either, so I don't know.

 

[ReverendHellh0und]

You realize that your impression of WHY she wanted you to pay sooner rather than later may have no basis in reality, don't you?

And in fact, there is another possibility, one I've encountered before in all types of restaurants. It's entirely possible that you were this young lady's last customer at the end of her shift. Have you considered that while you "lingered," she needed to finish up her last table and be somewhere else? (This is not an excuse, but a very reasonable possibility.)

Yes, as an American, I would say her "You pay now?" behavior seemed rude, although through personal experience I've learned that such "pushiness" can be quite common among Asians. I used to take San Francisco's Chinatown buses on a daily basis - "pushy" (plus "aggressive, physical, loud, demanding, oblivious") doesn't begin to describe how the Chinese people on those buses interacted with each other or with the non-Chinese passengers.

I suspect at least some of her "You pay now?" brusqueness cultural. Ditto for your reactions.

Do you think, if the waitress had said "I apologize for asking this, but I really need to leave and must finish all transactions before I go. Could you possibly pay now?" it might have sparked an entirely different reaction from you?

(Note: I'm not saying you caused the tiff; seems to me it's more like cultural differences/norms on both sides that led to the altercation.)

actually you want to blame it on culture, you would have to then say, no tip at all, neither china or Korea is tipping done, in fact it can be seen as rude. :shrug:

 

[Mell]

All the more reason to not act like an asshole....



I tip 20-30%, unless you suck, then you get nothing.

I think, US restaurants and their staff need a better system. This tipping expectation seems to cause a lot of stress and resentment.

It is also one of the things that Europeans often hate about visiting the US, because in Europe a tip is a gift rather than an expectation which is demanded. And, it is often a cause of agressive resentment from US waiters towards European customers. I have heard they also extend this resentment to women and black customers, who apparently dont have a reputation for tipping as big a white males do.

This tipping expectation really is a miserable and stressful custom. Do even those who get self rightous about how big they tip feel happy with it, or just self rightous.

 

[ReverendHellh0und]

I think, US restaurants and their staff need a better system. This tipping expectation seems to cause a lot of stress and resentment.

It is also one of the things that Europeans often hate about visiting the US, because in Europe a tip is a gift rather than an expectation which is demanded. And, it is often a cause of agressive resentment from US waiters towards European customers. I have heard they also extend this resentment to women and black customers, who apparently dont have a reputation for tipping as big a white males do.

This tipping expectation really is a miserable and stressful custom. Do even those who get self rightous about how big they tip feel happy with it, or just self rightous.

Yes especially black folk, we tend to hate them. :doh:

 

[Andalublue]

The wait staff working buffets usually are busy making sure the buffet stays stocked and clean. So even if it looked like she was doing nothing, she probably was working to make sure your meal was to your liking. And it was.

I don't know, Goshin. You were at a dump expecting good service. While I wouldn't like being handed the bill while I was still eating, and I certainly wouldn't like being asked to pay now while I was still sipping tea, you get what you pay for. :shrug:

First, I think a 10% tip even for buffet is cheap. I know you expect the waitress to assimilate to our customs, but so should you. 15% is appropriate for dinner without linen. Linen = 20% (or more). A 35 cent tip is insulting. Though I don't think she should have chased you out yelling, you insulted her. You had a good meal by your own admission. You lingered happily. You only paid $22 for a good meal out with your son. I'd have planned to leave her $5, but if she pissed me off, I'd have left maybe $3. You got what you were expecting ... a good meal and time to chat. So she annoyed you a little at the end. I don't think that was equal to insulting her with 35 cents. Sorry.

If she pissed you off, why would you leave anything? A tip is a gratuity for having received good service. It's not a standard charge, it's not a legal requirement, it's entirely discretionary. Why tip someone who gives you bad service? Perhaps THIS is a cultural thing that I don't quite get.

 

[rivrrat]

I don't leave a ****ing cent if the service sucked. I figure if they're that hard up for money, then they should be working harder to make sure they get it instead of being bitches.

 

[Mell]

Yes especially black folk, we tend to hate them. :doh:

Well, I dont know if it is hate or not... But, I heard that black people and women are the sterotypical low tippers, according to resentful waiting staff of the US.

 

[rivrrat]

Well, I dont know if it is hate or not... But, I heard that black people and women are the sterotypical low tippers, according to resentful waiting staff of the US.

In my experience, it was drunk folks that were notoriously ****ty tippers, as well as being all around pains in my ass.

 

[Mell]

In my experience, it was drunk folks that were notoriously ****ty tippers, as well as being all around pains in my ass.

Whoever their bitching is about, the system could do with an overhall, so eating out will be more pleasant for everybody, and waiters will get an acceptable wage for their services and not have to rely on tips. Restaurants should keep only good staff, and not rely on the tipping to make them good.

 

[Andalublue]

Well, I dont know if it is hate or not... But, I heard that black people and women are the sterotypical low tippers, according to resentful waiting staff of the US.

I mentioned in a previous post that at the hotel where I work in Spain (tips not expected, but very much appreciated) the worst tippers tend to be the Americans. Never had a tip from a US guest in 5 years. They must reckon they are on a gratuity holiday, or maybe they just hate our style of service, which is very laid-back, perhaps not as attentive as they are accustomed to. The best tippers are the Germans and the Brits, especially the Scots... who'd've thunk? Oh, the Norwegians are good too.

 

[ReverendHellh0und]

I mentioned in a previous post that at the hotel where I work in Spain (tips not expected, but very much appreciated) the worst tippers tend to be the Americans. Never had a tip from a US guest in 5 years. They must reckon they are on a gratuity holiday, or maybe they just hate our style of service, which is very laid-back, perhaps not as attentive as they are accustomed to. The best tippers are the Germans and the Brits, especially the Scots... who'd've thunk? Oh, the Norwegians are good too.

Tipping in Spain - Should You Tip in Spain?



Maybe its your travel board that tells us not to tip. :ssst:

 

[rivrrat]

Whoever their bitching is about, the system could do with an overhall, so eating out will be more pleasant for everybody, and waiters will get an acceptable wage for their services and not have to rely on tips. Restaurants should keep only good staff, and not rely on the tipping to make them good.

I very rarely have a bad experience eating out. I don't stress over tipping. They do a good job, they get a good tip. They do a ****ty job, they don't get a tip. No stress at all. The only time it's unpleasant is if the wait staff sucks. Which, in my experience, happens rarely.

 

[Mell]

....maybe they just hate our style of service, which is very laid-back, perhaps not as attentive as they are accustomed to.

Do you say 'Manana!', everytime they ask for something?

 

[MyOwnDrum]

I mentioned in a previous post that at the hotel where I work in Spain (tips not expected, but very much appreciated) the worst tippers tend to be the Americans. Never had a tip from a US guest in 5 years. They must reckon they are on a gratuity holiday, or maybe they just hate our style of service, which is very laid-back, perhaps not as attentive as they are accustomed to. The best tippers are the Germans and the Brits, especially the Scots... who'd've thunk? Oh, the Norwegians are good too.

Interesting. I used to own a small restaurant and the Brits were the worst tippers. We had a lot of foreign tourists at that time. They rarely tipped over 10%.

 

[MyOwnDrum]

I very rarely have a bad experience eating out. I don't stress over tipping. They do a good job, they get a good tip. They do a ****ty job, they don't get a tip. No stress at all. The only time it's unpleasant is if the wait staff sucks. Which, in my experience, happens rarely.

Neither do I. I use the tip calculator on my cellphone. 15% when the bill is more, 20% for small checks. My only complaint is that young waitresses seem to make rounds too much and will interrupt your conversation with "Is everything OK?" frequently. I find it disruptive, but never hold it against them since they're trying to be helpful.

 

[Andalublue]

Tipping in Spain - Should You Tip in Spain?



Maybe its your travel board that tells us not to tip. :ssst:

I think you'll find About.com isn't a Spanish board, it's an American site. As I said, it's not expected, just really appreciated.

 

[ReverendHellh0und]

I think you'll find About.com isn't a Spanish board, it's an American site. As I said, it's not expected, just really appreciated.

At almost all restaurants, service is included, but it is common practice to leave a tip or around 10%, as it is with taxi drivers (depending on how you liked the driving!). Cinemas and theatres will have staff show you to your seat - here a 50 cents or 1 euro coin is the norm.

Tipping is not obligatory anywhere, but much less in bars or cafeterias. However, if you leave a small tip it shows your appreciation of the service - a good rule of thumb here is 10 to 20 cents per round of drinks. Never leave tips in pubs or discotheques. A tip of 1 euro may be used in many other occasions, such as with hotel porters.

Currency, taxes and tipping in Madrid & Spain


As a tourist, I'm confused.

 

[rivrrat]

Interesting. I used to own a small restaurant and the Brits were the worst tippers. We had a lot of foreign tourists at that time. They rarely tipped over 10%.

Indeed. Foreigners definitely seem to tip the worst. When I did tours in Alaska, tips were a big part of my pay. But the tours I did were from the cruise lines so we sometimes had large groups of foreigners. 9 times out of 10, they wouldn't tip. One big exception: I had a whole tour of Koreans once. When I saw them, my first thought was - no tip on this tour. And I had resided myself to that fact. It happens. Surprisingly, however, they took up a collection and gave me one of the biggest tips I'd gotten on a tour. LOL I experienced the same things when I was a river guide and got tips regularly. Foreigner rarely tipped on those trips. And I won't even go into what the Japanese men expected the female guides to do. :lol:

Anywho, culture certainly plays a significant part. I didn't notice it much when I was waitressing though, more-so with the tours.

 

[roughdraft274]

When I get a waitress that doesn't do such a great job because they're terrible busy, I still leave them a good tip, when they seem lazy or just don't do a good job I leave a below average tip, alittle over 10%, when someone pisses me off (I've done this twice before) I give the tip to a waitress or waiter from another table that seems to be busting ass and doing a good job and tell them "Im gonna give my tip to you cause my waitress was terrible".

It's funny to see the look on their face when you do that and how pissed off your waitress gets when you do that.

 

[VanceMack]

My son has been after to me to take him to his favorite Chinese place for a couple of weeks, so last nite I took him. They have a buffet with some good black-pepper-chicken and shrimp, decent sushi, and a variety of other good stuff.

Was I wrong? I mean dang, she was a pretty lousy waitress to start with, but she could have gotten a decent tip if she hadn't been rude and pushy about the bill.

Cultural misunderstanding? Is this some kind of Asian thing? She might be Chinese, but given local demographics she's more likely to be Laotian, Hmong or Korean.

Thoughts?

Nah. Wait staff forget that tips are above and beyond bennies offered by customer for SERVICE. When service sucks...so should the tip. I have had similar experiences...I usually put their tip on the table at the beginning of the meal. Every 5 minutes that drinks dont get filled...that'll cost em. Rude...fugeddaboudit...I'll just pay for the food. Conversely I actually tip quite well for outstanding service...even for flustered but motivagted and well intentioned bad service.

General question...a lot of the chinese buffets have staff that dont speak much english and I cant help but wonder if they are paying off some form of work visa...so...Im wondering...do they get to keep their tip or do their business owners get tthe extra?

 

[Gipper]

I had an argument with this one girl I know who is a casino blackjack dealer. She argued about how people that don't leave tips are cheap. I say that dealers don't deserve tips because they don't do anything above and beyond someone else in that position.

 

[Marilyn Monroe]

When I get a waitress that doesn't do such a great job because they're terrible busy, I still leave them a good tip, when they seem lazy or just don't do a good job I leave a below average tip, alittle over 10%, when someone pisses me off (I've done this twice before) I give the tip to a waitress or waiter from another table that seems to be busting ass and doing a good job and tell them "Im gonna give my tip to you cause my waitress was terrible".

It's funny to see the look on their face when you do that and how pissed off your waitress gets when you do that.

MHO is always leave 15% because this is part of their wage, unforunately, but you as a customer know this, so it's your obligation. If you didn't know this, then you could give or not give accordingly. If they give great service they get even more, but average or below is still 15%. If the service wasn't great then you could talk to the girl a little when handing her the tip in person. Another opinion of mine is, the restaurants should be paying at least minimum wage. Course then nobody would be eating out, I suppose, because the prices would be too high.

 

[Gipper]

You totally lost me at obligation.

 

[Glinda]

actually you want to blame it on culture, you would have to then say, no tip at all, neither china or Korea is tipping done, in fact it can be seen as rude. :shrug:

I could be mistaken, but I believe the restaurant in question is in America. So, you know, when in Rome...