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Restaurant tiff: Was I wrong?

My son has been after to me to take him to his favorite Chinese place for a couple of weeks, so last nite I took him. They have a buffet with some good black-pepper-chicken and shrimp, decent sushi, and a variety of other good stuff.

So anyway, we went and ate. This place is apparently run by a family and most of the servers are young-adult children or nieces and nephews of the owners. Service can be a bit iffy sometimes, but hey it is a buffet; all they need to do is keep the sweet tea topped off once in a while.

The waitress brought the bill-tray by before we were finished eating, which is acceptible I suppose. She hadn't been especially prompt with the tea refills, but I was still planning to leave her the usual tip. The bill for the two of us comes to 22.65, and I usually put $25 on the tray and tell them to keep the change.

Now this is a buffet... I figure $2.35 is a decent tip in a place like that for two people, where all the waitress has to do is refill your tea once in a while. It's over ten percent anyway. If it was a fancy restaurant where the wait staff does EVERYTHING for you, I'd leave a bigger tip because they DO more.

We don't usually get in a big hurry, when we go there we like to enjoy it and I'm prone to linger over my last couple of bites and finish off my tea. As I was doing this, the waitress comes back, *picks up the bill-tray from our table and sets it directly in front of me*, and says "You pay now?" kind of pointedly.

I found this to be very rude, and it annoyed me greatly. It seemed like it was either "pay up and get out so I can get more people in here" (it wasn't like they were standing in line outside!) or "I'm worried you might try to skip out without paying" (we've been there several times before, you'd think...)

Either motive offended me. Hey, if I'm paying out 22.65 for dinner for two, don't freaking rush me! Nor does implying I might be a deadbeat endear you to me.

She was standing there staring at me, as if expecting me to interrupt my tea-drinking activities to pay the bill at once. I did so: I put $23 exactly on the tray, handed it to her and said "No change."

Yeah, I was annoyed.

Now SHE gets visibly pissed off, and sharply says "Thirty five cents? Thirty five cents?? I get you change, I get you change right now!" and storms off.

I told my son we were leaving. As we headed for the door, she flounced up to me with the tray, still visibily angry, and says sharply "You take you change!"

I ignored her and walked on. I stopped at the main desk long enough to briefly recount what had happened to the hostess, then walked out without further discussion.

Was I wrong? I mean dang, she was a pretty lousy waitress to start with, but she could have gotten a decent tip if she hadn't been rude and pushy about the bill.

Cultural misunderstanding? Is this some kind of Asian thing? She might be Chinese, but given local demographics she's more likely to be Laotian, Hmong or Korean.

Thoughts?

referee.gif


Red card to the waitress!

You were well within your rights Goshin... I'd have done the same thing...
 
My son has been after to me to take him to his favorite Chinese place for a couple of weeks, so last nite I took him. They have a buffet with some good black-pepper-chicken and shrimp, decent sushi, and a variety of other good stuff.

So anyway, we went and ate. This place is apparently run by a family and most of the servers are young-adult children or nieces and nephews of the owners. Service can be a bit iffy sometimes, but hey it is a buffet; all they need to do is keep the sweet tea topped off once in a while.

The waitress brought the bill-tray by before we were finished eating, which is acceptible I suppose. She hadn't been especially prompt with the tea refills, but I was still planning to leave her the usual tip. The bill for the two of us comes to 22.65, and I usually put $25 on the tray and tell them to keep the change.

Now this is a buffet... I figure $2.35 is a decent tip in a place like that for two people, where all the waitress has to do is refill your tea once in a while. It's over ten percent anyway. If it was a fancy restaurant where the wait staff does EVERYTHING for you, I'd leave a bigger tip because they DO more.

We don't usually get in a big hurry, when we go there we like to enjoy it and I'm prone to linger over my last couple of bites and finish off my tea. As I was doing this, the waitress comes back, *picks up the bill-tray from our table and sets it directly in front of me*, and says "You pay now?" kind of pointedly.

I found this to be very rude, and it annoyed me greatly. It seemed like it was either "pay up and get out so I can get more people in here" (it wasn't like they were standing in line outside!) or "I'm worried you might try to skip out without paying" (we've been there several times before, you'd think...)

Either motive offended me. Hey, if I'm paying out 22.65 for dinner for two, don't freaking rush me! Nor does implying I might be a deadbeat endear you to me.

She was standing there staring at me, as if expecting me to interrupt my tea-drinking activities to pay the bill at once. I did so: I put $23 exactly on the tray, handed it to her and said "No change."

Yeah, I was annoyed.

Now SHE gets visibly pissed off, and sharply says "Thirty five cents? Thirty five cents?? I get you change, I get you change right now!" and storms off.

I told my son we were leaving. As we headed for the door, she flounced up to me with the tray, still visibily angry, and says sharply "You take you change!"

I ignored her and walked on. I stopped at the main desk long enough to briefly recount what had happened to the hostess, then walked out without further discussion.

Was I wrong? I mean dang, she was a pretty lousy waitress to start with, but she could have gotten a decent tip if she hadn't been rude and pushy about the bill.

Cultural misunderstanding? Is this some kind of Asian thing? She might be Chinese, but given local demographics she's more likely to be Laotian, Hmong or Korean.

Thoughts?


You were well within your rights. Tipping is discretionary, meaning it's not required if the service doesn't merit it. CL once left a tip of $0.02 for some bad service we received. The next time we went into that restaurant, we ended up with the same waitress, sans the crappy service. Amazing.

 
i can only conclude from your posts that you don't actually want an answer to your question 'was i wrong', unless it is the answer you are seeking
if my honest appraisal offends you, maybe you should not solicit replies to that question on a public board

Um, dude, that was me that asked for opinions, but you were replying to Ockham. Been drinking much today?

If that's the level of attention you're paying to the thread, I think your opinion on this is safely ignored.


I've never been rude to waitstaff unless it was in return to rudeness, and even that rarely. I've known too many people who have been servers not to have sympathy for their often-difficult job. You're speculating that I'm a habitual dick without basis, probably (as Ockham noted) because you just flat don't like me and thought you saw an opportunity to troll.
 
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Um, dude, that was me that asked for opinions, but you were replying to Ockham. Been drinking much today?

If that's the level of attention you're paying to the thread, I think your opinion on this is safely ignored.


I've never been rude to waitstaff unless it was in return to rudeness, and even that rarely. I've known too many people who have been servers not to have sympathy for their often-difficult job. You're speculating that I'm a habitual dick without basis, probably (as Ockham noted) because you just flat don't like me and thought you saw an opportunity to troll.

you asked for our opinion of your behavior
i responded honestly
you didn't like my honest reply
that's your problem
which probably is also indicative of your behavior at the restaurant
you expect respect you may not deserve
 
Hey, I'm just wondering where the heck she got the idea that shoving the bill in my face while I'm still finishing my meal, and acting like I had to pay it right that second, was a good way to get a nice tip!

If she'd left well enough alone for another five minutes, she'd have gotten a very reasonable tip for a buffet waitress.

My parents took me to a Chinese buffet and guess what they did before we were done? Brought the tray with the bill and I was just starting on some dessert. My Dad looked at me and said that is uually a sign they think it is time for you to leave. I was shocked. They/parents seemed totally ok with it but I found it rude! The hell I would be cool with that and plus the food was not all that anyways.

Of course Chinese is not my thing but still it was rude. I feel you did the right thing. :)

Wanted to add: the places was not comfy to me as she kinda like stood watch on our every move and I just found the whole thing strange but my parents love the place and have made friends with owner.
 
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you asked for our opinion of your behavior
i responded honestly
you didn't like my honest reply
that's your problem
which probably is also indicative of your behavior at the restaurant
you expect respect you may not deserve

Bud, have you caught on to the fact that you were talking to/ responding to OCKHAM half of the time and apparently thought it was me, the original poster?

BTW, you sure are making a lot of specious assumptions about my character for someone who hardly knows me.
 
Bud, have you caught on to the fact that you were talking to/ responding to OCKHAM half of the time and apparently thought it was me, the original poster?

BTW, you sure are making a lot of specious assumptions about my character for someone who hardly knows me.

He knows he disagrees with you politically. For some folks, that's more than enough.
 
Bud, have you caught on to the fact that you were talking to/ responding to OCKHAM half of the time and apparently thought it was me, the original poster?

BTW, you sure are making a lot of specious assumptions about my character for someone who hardly knows me.

did you not issue an open invitation for us to tell you whether your actions were wrong or not

if it bothers you when people reply to such threads then maybe you should reconsider initiating them
 
No, the Goshin-man is never wrong.:)

It sounds to me like the waitress has become a little too "Americanized".;) Bad manners and pushy.
 
did you not issue an open invitation for us to tell you whether your actions were wrong or not

if it bothers you when people reply to such threads then maybe you should reconsider initiating them

LMAO! You're really cracking me up tonight!
 
I don't tip at buffets. And even if I did, I would never tip at a Chinese restaurant. The scenario described here isn't highly uncommon. Asians make awful waitstaff, universally.

Cheap-O Strikes Again. Honestly you do not think someone who is making sure your glass does not get more than halfway empty deserves a tip? Also some buffets they have to bring you more clean plates rather than having a place where you get your own. That at least should get you to give up 2 bucks from your tightfist. :)

If they let my glass get down past half full? They get a crappy tip as that is my one biggie rule. Keep my glass full

Wanted to add that your post could be viewed as racist:shock:
 
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did you not issue an open invitation for us to tell you whether your actions were wrong or not

if it bothers you when people reply to such threads then maybe you should reconsider initiating them


Well, let's see, so far you have...

Acted like a little tiff with a waitress was a Supreme Court case and you'd need both sides to judge and render a verdict...
Decided on the basis of very little info that I'm some asshole who goes around pissing off waitstaff for the fun of it...
Confused me with Ockham, or vice-versa, in at least three posts, acting like you were replying to the original question when you were responding to him...

...and now your position is "if you don't like someone like me telling you that you're a dick based on assumptions and speculation, when I can't tell you from Ockham, then don't ask me what I think." :roll:

Okay, I'm officially not asking you what you think anymore. From now on you can assume when I ask a question, it was not addressed to you, ya silly bugger. :lamo :mrgreen:
 
I've never experienced problems like this at a Chinese restaurant, so I'm not so sure it's a cultural difference. The only restaurants that I've had problems like this in have been truck stops and fast food restaurants.
 
My son has been after to me to take him to his favorite Chinese place for a couple of weeks, so last nite I took him. They have a buffet with some good black-pepper-chicken and shrimp, decent sushi, and a variety of other good stuff.

So anyway, we went and ate. This place is apparently run by a family and most of the servers are young-adult children or nieces and nephews of the owners. Service can be a bit iffy sometimes, but hey it is a buffet; all they need to do is keep the sweet tea topped off once in a while.

The waitress brought the bill-tray by before we were finished eating, which is acceptible I suppose. She hadn't been especially prompt with the tea refills, but I was still planning to leave her the usual tip. The bill for the two of us comes to 22.65, and I usually put $25 on the tray and tell them to keep the change.

Now this is a buffet... I figure $2.35 is a decent tip in a place like that for two people, where all the waitress has to do is refill your tea once in a while. It's over ten percent anyway. If it was a fancy restaurant where the wait staff does EVERYTHING for you, I'd leave a bigger tip because they DO more.

We don't usually get in a big hurry, when we go there we like to enjoy it and I'm prone to linger over my last couple of bites and finish off my tea. As I was doing this, the waitress comes back, *picks up the bill-tray from our table and sets it directly in front of me*, and says "You pay now?" kind of pointedly.

I found this to be very rude, and it annoyed me greatly. It seemed like it was either "pay up and get out so I can get more people in here" (it wasn't like they were standing in line outside!) or "I'm worried you might try to skip out without paying" (we've been there several times before, you'd think...)

Either motive offended me. Hey, if I'm paying out 22.65 for dinner for two, don't freaking rush me! Nor does implying I might be a deadbeat endear you to me.

She was standing there staring at me, as if expecting me to interrupt my tea-drinking activities to pay the bill at once. I did so: I put $23 exactly on the tray, handed it to her and said "No change."

Yeah, I was annoyed.

Now SHE gets visibly pissed off, and sharply says "Thirty five cents? Thirty five cents?? I get you change, I get you change right now!" and storms off.

I told my son we were leaving. As we headed for the door, she flounced up to me with the tray, still visibily angry, and says sharply "You take you change!"

I ignored her and walked on. I stopped at the main desk long enough to briefly recount what had happened to the hostess, then walked out without further discussion.

Was I wrong? I mean dang, she was a pretty lousy waitress to start with, but she could have gotten a decent tip if she hadn't been rude and pushy about the bill.

Cultural misunderstanding? Is this some kind of Asian thing? She might be Chinese, but given local demographics she's more likely to be Laotian, Hmong or Korean.

Thoughts?

Screw her. She was rude and ungracious and didn't deserve a tip. You should have left a penny under an upside-down, filled water glass, but you chose the higher road.
 
Screw her. She was rude and ungracious and didn't deserve a tip. You should have left a penny under an upside-down, filled water glass, but you chose the higher road.

Yeah, that would've really showed her who was boss. :roll:
 
Yeah, that would've really showed her who was boss. :roll:

Another clever quip by 1069... :lol:

How do you do it, woman? ;)
 
Usually most of the Chinese buffets I went to the waitresses usually wait until you had a couple of plates or more before bringing the bill and some it seems like they will not bring the bill out until they see you or someone at your table eating ice cream or some other desert. This one Chinese buffet I been to called the Oriental Pearl in Owasso, Oklahoma is awesome, The food is great, the waitresses are good about refilling your drinks,they are good about removing empty plates and they keep the food well stocked in the buffet(while some seem to wait until the very last item is removed before refilling) and when the sushi is low there is someone there who will make more. The only time I was ever rushed at a restaurant/ fast food place was when I was at a Taco Beuno drive thru and I wasn't even there 30 seconds and they was rushing as though I am supposed to immediately know what the hell I want the second I arrive at a drive thru, so I left that place.
 
My son has been after to me to take him to his favorite Chinese place for a couple of weeks, so last nite I took him. They have a buffet with some good black-pepper-chicken and shrimp, decent sushi, and a variety of other good stuff.

So anyway, we went and ate. This place is apparently run by a family and most of the servers are young-adult children or nieces and nephews of the owners. Service can be a bit iffy sometimes, but hey it is a buffet; all they need to do is keep the sweet tea topped off once in a while.

The waitress brought the bill-tray by before we were finished eating, which is acceptible I suppose. She hadn't been especially prompt with the tea refills, but I was still planning to leave her the usual tip. The bill for the two of us comes to 22.65, and I usually put $25 on the tray and tell them to keep the change.

Now this is a buffet... I figure $2.35 is a decent tip in a place like that for two people, where all the waitress has to do is refill your tea once in a while. It's over ten percent anyway. If it was a fancy restaurant where the wait staff does EVERYTHING for you, I'd leave a bigger tip because they DO more.

We don't usually get in a big hurry, when we go there we like to enjoy it and I'm prone to linger over my last couple of bites and finish off my tea. As I was doing this, the waitress comes back, *picks up the bill-tray from our table and sets it directly in front of me*, and says "You pay now?" kind of pointedly.

I found this to be very rude, and it annoyed me greatly. It seemed like it was either "pay up and get out so I can get more people in here" (it wasn't like they were standing in line outside!) or "I'm worried you might try to skip out without paying" (we've been there several times before, you'd think...)

Either motive offended me. Hey, if I'm paying out 22.65 for dinner for two, don't freaking rush me! Nor does implying I might be a deadbeat endear you to me.

She was standing there staring at me, as if expecting me to interrupt my tea-drinking activities to pay the bill at once. I did so: I put $23 exactly on the tray, handed it to her and said "No change."

Yeah, I was annoyed.

Now SHE gets visibly pissed off, and sharply says "Thirty five cents? Thirty five cents?? I get you change, I get you change right now!" and storms off.

I told my son we were leaving. As we headed for the door, she flounced up to me with the tray, still visibily angry, and says sharply "You take you change!"

I ignored her and walked on. I stopped at the main desk long enough to briefly recount what had happened to the hostess, then walked out without further discussion.

Was I wrong? I mean dang, she was a pretty lousy waitress to start with, but she could have gotten a decent tip if she hadn't been rude and pushy about the bill.

Cultural misunderstanding? Is this some kind of Asian thing? She might be Chinese, but given local demographics she's more likely to be Laotian, Hmong or Korean.

Thoughts?

I would tell my son that the bad service outweighs the good food and that I'd be happy to try somewhere else next time he wants Chinese, but I wasn't going back to that restaurant.
 
Goshin.... I would have interpreted the encounter exactly as you did and responded likewise.
 
My son has been after to me to take him to his favorite Chinese place for a couple of weeks, so last nite I took him. They have a buffet with some good black-pepper-chicken and shrimp, decent sushi, and a variety of other good stuff.

So anyway, we went and ate. This place is apparently run by a family and most of the servers are young-adult children or nieces and nephews of the owners. Service can be a bit iffy sometimes, but hey it is a buffet; all they need to do is keep the sweet tea topped off once in a while.

The waitress brought the bill-tray by before we were finished eating, which is acceptible I suppose. She hadn't been especially prompt with the tea refills, but I was still planning to leave her the usual tip. The bill for the two of us comes to 22.65, and I usually put $25 on the tray and tell them to keep the change.

Now this is a buffet... I figure $2.35 is a decent tip in a place like that for two people, where all the waitress has to do is refill your tea once in a while. It's over ten percent anyway. If it was a fancy restaurant where the wait staff does EVERYTHING for you, I'd leave a bigger tip because they DO more.

We don't usually get in a big hurry, when we go there we like to enjoy it and I'm prone to linger over my last couple of bites and finish off my tea. As I was doing this, the waitress comes back, *picks up the bill-tray from our table and sets it directly in front of me*, and says "You pay now?" kind of pointedly.

I found this to be very rude, and it annoyed me greatly. It seemed like it was either "pay up and get out so I can get more people in here" (it wasn't like they were standing in line outside!) or "I'm worried you might try to skip out without paying" (we've been there several times before, you'd think...)

Either motive offended me. Hey, if I'm paying out 22.65 for dinner for two, don't freaking rush me! Nor does implying I might be a deadbeat endear you to me.

She was standing there staring at me, as if expecting me to interrupt my tea-drinking activities to pay the bill at once. I did so: I put $23 exactly on the tray, handed it to her and said "No change."

Yeah, I was annoyed.

Now SHE gets visibly pissed off, and sharply says "Thirty five cents? Thirty five cents?? I get you change, I get you change right now!" and storms off.

I told my son we were leaving. As we headed for the door, she flounced up to me with the tray, still visibily angry, and says sharply "You take you change!"

I ignored her and walked on. I stopped at the main desk long enough to briefly recount what had happened to the hostess, then walked out without further discussion.

Was I wrong? I mean dang, she was a pretty lousy waitress to start with, but she could have gotten a decent tip if she hadn't been rude and pushy about the bill.

Cultural misunderstanding? Is this some kind of Asian thing? She might be Chinese, but given local demographics she's more likely to be Laotian, Hmong or Korean.

Thoughts?
You did nothing wrong and had the expected reaction to the situation IMO. Likely the waitress learned something in the exchange and will try to be more pleasant or at least communicate that she is asking if you want to pay now.

Now as for eating at Asian buffets, hey it is your life and you can risk it however you want! I stopped eating at buffets a long time ago.;)
 
My son has been after to me to take him to his favorite Chinese place for a couple of weeks, so last nite I took him. They have a buffet with some good black-pepper-chicken and shrimp, decent sushi, and a variety of other good stuff.

So anyway, we went and ate. This place is apparently run by a family and most of the servers are young-adult children or nieces and nephews of the owners. Service can be a bit iffy sometimes, but hey it is a buffet; all they need to do is keep the sweet tea topped off once in a while.

The waitress brought the bill-tray by before we were finished eating, which is acceptible I suppose. She hadn't been especially prompt with the tea refills, but I was still planning to leave her the usual tip. The bill for the two of us comes to 22.65, and I usually put $25 on the tray and tell them to keep the change.

Now this is a buffet... I figure $2.35 is a decent tip in a place like that for two people, where all the waitress has to do is refill your tea once in a while. It's over ten percent anyway. If it was a fancy restaurant where the wait staff does EVERYTHING for you, I'd leave a bigger tip because they DO more.

We don't usually get in a big hurry, when we go there we like to enjoy it and I'm prone to linger over my last couple of bites and finish off my tea. As I was doing this, the waitress comes back, *picks up the bill-tray from our table and sets it directly in front of me*, and says "You pay now?" kind of pointedly.

I found this to be very rude, and it annoyed me greatly. It seemed like it was either "pay up and get out so I can get more people in here" (it wasn't like they were standing in line outside!) or "I'm worried you might try to skip out without paying" (we've been there several times before, you'd think...)

Either motive offended me. Hey, if I'm paying out 22.65 for dinner for two, don't freaking rush me! Nor does implying I might be a deadbeat endear you to me.

She was standing there staring at me, as if expecting me to interrupt my tea-drinking activities to pay the bill at once. I did so: I put $23 exactly on the tray, handed it to her and said "No change."

Yeah, I was annoyed.

Now SHE gets visibly pissed off, and sharply says "Thirty five cents? Thirty five cents?? I get you change, I get you change right now!" and storms off.

I told my son we were leaving. As we headed for the door, she flounced up to me with the tray, still visibily angry, and says sharply "You take you change!"

I ignored her and walked on. I stopped at the main desk long enough to briefly recount what had happened to the hostess, then walked out without further discussion.

Was I wrong? I mean dang, she was a pretty lousy waitress to start with, but she could have gotten a decent tip if she hadn't been rude and pushy about the bill.

Cultural misunderstanding? Is this some kind of Asian thing? She might be Chinese, but given local demographics she's more likely to be Laotian, Hmong or Korean.

Thoughts?

As others have said, you did the right thing. There's no cause for a waiter/waitress just being downright ****ing rude and then expecting a tip.
 
Likely the waitress learned something in the exchange and will try to be more pleasant or at least communicate that she is asking if you want to pay now.

I seriously doubt it.
 
The wait staff working buffets usually are busy making sure the buffet stays stocked and clean. So even if it looked like she was doing nothing, she probably was working to make sure your meal was to your liking. And it was.

I don't know, Goshin. You were at a dump expecting good service. While I wouldn't like being handed the bill while I was still eating, and I certainly wouldn't like being asked to pay now while I was still sipping tea, you get what you pay for. :shrug:

First, I think a 10% tip even for buffet is cheap. I know you expect the waitress to assimilate to our customs, but so should you. 15% is appropriate for dinner without linen. Linen = 20% (or more). A 35 cent tip is insulting. Though I don't think she should have chased you out yelling, you insulted her. You had a good meal by your own admission. You lingered happily. You only paid $22 for a good meal out with your son. I'd have planned to leave her $5, but if she pissed me off, I'd have left maybe $3. You got what you were expecting ... a good meal and time to chat. So she annoyed you a little at the end. I don't think that was equal to insulting her with 35 cents. Sorry.
 
The wait staff working buffets usually are busy making sure the buffet stays stocked and clean. So even if it looked like she was doing nothing, she probably was working to make sure your meal was to your liking. And it was.

I don't know, Goshin. You were at a dump expecting good service. While I wouldn't like being handed the bill while I was still eating, and I certainly wouldn't like being asked to pay now while I was still sipping tea, you get what you pay for. :shrug:

First, I think a 10% tip even for buffet is cheap. I know you expect the waitress to assimilate to our customs, but so should you. 15% is appropriate for dinner without linen. Linen = 20% (or more). A 35 cent tip is insulting. Though I don't think she should have chased you out yelling, you insulted her. You had a good meal by your own admission. You lingered happily. You only paid $22 for a good meal out with your son. I'd have planned to leave her $5, but if she pissed me off, I'd have left maybe $3. You got what you were expecting ... a good meal and time to chat. So she annoyed you a little at the end. I don't think that was equal to insulting her with 35 cents. Sorry.

Good points.
I've never been to a Chinese restaurant where the staff wasn't working their little Chinese butts off. Granted, I don't usually go to real fancy ones.
Half the time, I think the waitstaff is also cooking, as well as waiting tables, the way they're running around looking all stressed.

One time this crazy-looking old man waiter ran up to our table and filled my husband's half-full soda glass with tea, then ran away before we could protest.
When we flagged down our waitress and told her and asked for another glass of soda, she muttered, "stupid old ****" under her breath.
"Maybe you should tell the owner," I suggested.
"He is owner," she replied.

:lol:

But, yeah; I do think a lot of them are family-run, and I think they work their poor young immigrant cousins, nieces, and nephews to the bone, with little regard for the labor laws of our country.
 
Here is a good tipping guide. This lines up with my own practices very well, incidentally.

Restaurant Tipping Guide
 
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