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Worst things to say while in coitus.

DDD

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So you are doing it and your partner says stuff that may make you think and thus turn you off:

1) Why is it big only when inside me?! - Brings up thoughts like: What? Is not this normal?! Why should it be erected otherwise?!

2) I told you this was wrong for it is too often! - Thoughts: Was not the point to have the more the better?! What is wrong with too often? How much is often?

Some more will come to my mind later on...

What was the worst sentence your heard while at it?

Express your frustrations here freely ;)
 
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paris

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So you are doing it and your partner says stuff that may make you think and thus turn you off:

1) Why is it big only when inside me?! - Brings up thoughts like: What? Is not this normal?! Why should it be erected otherwise?!

2) I told you this was wrong for it is too often! - Thoughts: Was not the point to have the more the better?! What is wrong with too often? How much is often?

Some more will come to my mind later on...

What was your worst sentence while at it?

Express your frustrations here freely ;)
I did experience something a bit similar than that though. Was having sex with the gf when she asked me why it was bigger than usual. Uh, dunno, I replied. Truth has it that I was thinking of someone else:3oops:
 

DDD

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I did experience something a bit similar than that though. Was having sex with the gf when she asked me why it was bigger than usual. Uh, dunno, I replied. Truth has it that I was thinking of someone else:3oops:
Lucky for us that women resemble each other so much when looked from behind! :cool:
 

CaptainCourtesy

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"You seem a lot looser than usual". This was actually said to a friend of mine. I suggested that if her boyfriend said that again, to respond with, "perhaps it's not me that's looser, but you who's smaller."
 

Redress

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The classic rodeo **** joke is stuck in my head now for some reason...
 

DDD

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This one prior to main play, with one of my gfs.

1) What shall be done with you since you cannot have an erection without any foreplay! There is no future no us with that!

2) Stop sliding your face and chin on my skin! You are making all kinds of spots with your beard!
 

specklebang

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Beige. I think I'll paint the ceiling beige.
 

Medusa

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I did experience something a bit similar than that though. Was having sex with the gf when she asked me why it was bigger than usual. Uh, dunno, I replied. Truth has it that I was thinking of someone else:3oops:
but also it must be as graceful as any other french thing :mrgreen:
 

Aunt Spiker

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So you are doing it and your partner says stuff that may make you think and thus turn you off:

1) Why is it big only when inside me?! - Brings up thoughts like: What? Is not this normal?! Why should it be erected otherwise?!

2) I told you this was wrong for it is too often! - Thoughts: Was not the point to have the more the better?! What is wrong with too often? How much is often?

Some more will come to my mind later on...

What was the worst sentence your heard while at it?

Express your frustrations here freely ;)
My ex (boyfriend) always said random crap unrelated to sex "to keep his mind off of coming" - which was just annoying. I think one time he even asked me something about my Dad.

That sort of put an end to our sexual relationship because it was such a turnoff - I just knew he was always thinking about everything and anything else other than me. I never wanted to bother with it after that.
 

Lutherf

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"Could you hurry it up? My next appointment is here."
 

Aunt Spiker

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This one prior to main play, with one of my gfs.

1) What shall be done with you since you cannot have an erection without any foreplay! There is no future no us with that!

2) Stop sliding your face and chin on my skin! You are making all kinds of spots with your beard!
Now - I can't begrudge a woman who doesn't like the stinging pain of scruff. It might look attractive, but it's very uncomfortable. I can't stand being intimate while I'm being buffed with nature's brillo pad.
 

clownboy

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"How's your mother doing these days?"
 

digsbe

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Risky Thicket

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"We need to hurry this up a little. I forgot to call my wife and tell her I'd be late."
 

Tucker Case

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"Honey, I'm home!"

"Hurry up and finish, I've gotta take a monster ****"

"Jeez, you ever think of shaving down there? Looks like a vomiting alpaca."

"Did you gain some weight? You feel softer."

"My scrotum is itching something fierce!"

"Does this look infected to you?"

(when doing it doggy style) "Did you know you have some toilet paper cling-ons going on back here? It's pretty nasty."

"Did you just fart?!?!?! I swear I just felt a hot breeze on my nutsack."

"Breathmint?"

"My god, woman, have you ever heard of Massingil?"

"Here comes the money shot! Bloop!"

"Pow! Zing! Bam! You just got ****ed by Batman, bitch!"
 

DDD

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Now - I can't begrudge a woman who doesn't like the stinging pain of scruff. It might look attractive, but it's very uncomfortable. I can't stand being intimate while I'm being buffed with nature's brillo pad.
I understand but it takes the energy elsewhere for it is not the time or the place to say that. After all I am doing look at where her mind was!
 
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