It is more of an American problem than anything else.
We've allowed our minds to be filled to overflowing with ridiculous expectations and pathetic social norms.
First off, most porn, certainly the commercially produced kind, is more like WWE Wrestling than actual sex, and when people get their expectations fine tuned by porn, it tends to mess things up a bit, or more than a bit.
Second, American women consume an incredible amount of messaging that makes them feel bad about themselves.
If you think The Big Lie is criminal level disinfo, turn around for a moment and pick up Cosmo Magazine.
Yeah, not joking...any of these publications are overflowing with conflicting and confusing messages and gobs of disinformation.
And they've been doing it for decades.
At its core, the drive for sexual satisfaction is supposed to be about expressing affection or, if you're lucky...LOVE.
But too many women find themselves daunted by what they think is "expected" of them, and too many men think they're in some
contest to see how many women they can score with, mostly to impress their other male friends.
If you observe couples who enjoy a warm and fulfilling relationship you notice one thing.
They both engage in a kind of ongoing "love chatter".
It can be silly or serious or something in between but it's a mutually accepted type of communication fine tuned on more levels than the typical interpersonal communication. They speak to each other with a different tone of voice, they make familiar gestures, exchange warm pleasantries, or even just tease each other with humor. But whatever it is, sometimes it's easy to spot.
Whether it's pat phrases that only the couple understands or role playing games that they find entertaining, or just little sweet nothings throughout the day, that "love chatter" sustains the warmth and trust between them.
And those are likely the couples who do have satisfying sexual relations.
