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The orgasm gap

I'm more concerned about the Basselope Gap.
 
Phys251 said:
From a few years ago, still an issue today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/.../the-orgasm-gap-simple-truth-sexual-solutions









What's going on here? Why aren't straight women able to get off as well with a partner as lesbian women are, or especially by themselves?
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I'm not sure I can answer this question I've never been a woman so I have no idea what it takes to orgasm as a woman.

I think this is the case for all men and therefore they probably you should teach the men how to do it it's been my experience it's been really enjoy pleasing their partner.
 
WillyPete said:
It could be a perspective thing, and certainly I'm referring to an "older" way of thinking, but my point is not about getting along with women or enjoying their company, it's about the fundamental differences that transcend all that, for which we have no frame of reference.

Can we not agree there are actual differences between men and women?
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There tend to be differences, but I just listen carefully and it works just fine.
 
HIP56948 said:
Actually, I suspect it's a factor of sensitivity. I remember times when I could last a long time.
..and other times, not so long. (Excuse the pun)
There's also what your partner feels. Could be wrong but aren't woman much more emotional during sex. (That's what the manual says)
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Maybe a lot of men arent as good at sex as they think they are. (You dont really hear any ever say they're not, lol) Or maybe they're not really that interested in if she really comes.

And such women are doormats, for not demanding better. And also for not 'taking it' while it's 'on the table' and by that I mean by being more aggressive in the moment.
 
HIP56948 said:
I don't know but maybe it's practice, practice, practice. It's also possible that I've being going-about-it the wrong way. In a weird way, I would like to be a woman
for a few days, just to understand the female psyche. Not the sex act. Not kidding, it would be an eye opener.
Click to expand...
I'm willing to do a whole year to get the full experience, pregnancy, childbirth and all. Even then there would be so much I still would not have experienced. But I bet I would be even more empathic towards women than I am now, and I'm told I'm above average as is.
 
maquiscat said:
I'm willing to do a whole year to get the full experience, pregnancy, childbirth and all. Even then there would be so much I still would not have experienced. But I bet I would be even more empathic towards women than I am now, and I'm told I'm above average as is.
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I understand fully. I suspect that you might have the feelings like myself and other decent men. You're able to do the proverbial trait of
Put-yourself-in-others-shoes. I certainly had nothing to do with the way I approach life but I can almost feel what others are going through.
(sometimes I wish I couldn't.. it ain't fun.) Yeah..it might sound a bit Mushy, but others have told me the same thing. :)
 
armycowboy said:
I believe if they had done this study with women in the 30s and 40s, the numbers would have been much higher.
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Surprisingly it is often said that women actually reach a sexual peak closer to their thirties in modern day America.
I doubt it is physiological, most likely more a sense of moving past all the reactionary stresses of being bombarded with too much high pressure messaging. Around that age, a lot of women reach a point where they just don't give two shits about the messaging and reach a conclusion that whatever makes them happy is more important.

And that makes being sexually satisfied a WHOLE lot easier, I suspect.
 
I’m going to go out on a whim here and opine that women know other womens bodies better than men.

That would likely increase the odds of orgasm.
 
Checkerboard Strangler said:
Surprisingly it is often said that women actually reach a sexual peak closer to their thirties in modern day America.
I doubt it is physiological, most likely more a sense of moving past all the reactionary stresses of being bombarded with too much high pressure messaging. Around that age, a lot of women reach a point where they just don't give two shits about the messaging and reach a conclusion that whatever makes them happy is more important.

And that makes being sexually satisfied a WHOLE lot easier, I suspect.
Click to expand...
I believe he is referring to the 1930's and 1940's, not the age groups.
 
armycowboy said:
No, I was speaking about women in their 30s and 40s. Women who know their bodies and have embraced their sexuality more than college age woman.
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Typo? instead of "the 30's and 40's" it should have been "their 30's and 40's"?
 
maquiscat said:
I believe he is referring to the 1930's and 1940's, not the age groups.
Click to expand...

My first wife was born IN 1949, so technically the 1940's.
If she were still alive today she'd tell you stories that would either shock you or make you laugh.
Let's put it this way, when she came of age in the 1960's she suddenly realized that everything she'd been taught about sex
was incredibly wrong.

When we found each other, she was just on the other side of forty.
Holy Mother of God was she ever comfortable with her sexuality by that point.
 
armycowboy said:
No, I was speaking about women in their 30s and 40s. Women who know their bodies and have embraced their sexuality more than college age woman.
Click to expand...

By the way, since Linda IS now deceased I see nothing wrong with sharing this story:

After graduating early she wound up at sister's alma mater, Penn State, as a legacy Tri-Delt, age sixteen. (1965)
Cut to: Ladies restroom and she discovers she forgot to bring a sanitary napkin and asks the next stall.
The girl in the next stall hands her a tampon...she had no idea what it was. The girl in the next stall had to explain
how to use it.

A few months later she finds herself on a hot date, and when things begin heating up during a dry hump,
her date accidentally "releases his seed" all over her...outside of her clothes, but she's convinced that she's going
to wind up pregnant anyway.
Desperate, she runs up to her dorm trying to figure out how to prevent it from happening and she spies a bottle
of LISTERINE, which of course, says "KILLS GERMS BY THE MILLIONS ON CONTACT".

In her mind --- "germ....sperm...close enough" and so she proceeds to try to DOUCHE WITH LISTERINE,
waking up everyone on the floor thanks to the guttural screams of agony as the 35% percent alcohol mixture
shoots up her vagina.

This was a highly intelligent and highly educated young lady who knew ****-all about sex education outside
of what she was told by her extremely devout mother.

And this is about where we are headed (and much worse) if the current fanatical movement is allowed to continue unimpeded.

(circa 1973)
LMcPcollege (2019_02_27 17_41_55 UTC)2.jpg
 
Checkerboard Strangler said:
By the way, since Linda IS now deceased I see nothing wrong with sharing this story:

After graduating early she wound up at sister's alma mater, Penn State, as a legacy Tri-Delt, age sixteen. (1965)
Cut to: Ladies restroom and she discovers she forgot to bring a sanitary napkin and asks the next stall.
The girl in the next stall hands her a tampon...she had no idea what it was. The girl in the next stall had to explain
how to use it.

A few months later she finds herself on a hot date, and when things begin heating up during a dry hump,
her date accidentally "releases his seed" all over her...outside of her clothes, but she's convinced that she's going
to wind up pregnant anyway.
Desperate, she runs up to her dorm trying to figure out how to prevent it from happening and she spies a bottle
of LISTERINE, which of course, says "KILLS GERMS BY THE MILLIONS ON CONTACT".

In her mind --- "germ....sperm...close enough" and so she proceeds to try to DOUCHE WITH LISTERINE,
waking up everyone on the floor thanks to the guttural screams of agony as the 35% percent alcohol mixture
shoots up her vagina.

This was a highly intelligent and highly educated young lady who knew ****-all about sex education outside
of what she was told by her extremely devout mother.

And this is about where we are headed (and much worse) if the current fanatical movement is allowed to continue unimpeded.

(circa 1973)
View attachment 67389045
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That's a great story.

She was beautiful. I'm sorry for your loss.
 
armycowboy said:
That's a great story.

She was beautiful. I'm sorry for your loss.
Click to expand...

It was the first wife and although things started out as a storybook, they didn't stay that way for long.
There's ONE THING she did do that I'll always thank her for, indeed it was one reason I felt it was time to get serious about her in the first place.
Aside from that, the relationship became a nightmare about a year or so after we married. (1992)
By 1995 I was living alone in a truly depressing "bachelor pad" and wondering if I could manage to remain sober.

On August 1, 2017 she decided she wanted just another little taste of cocaine. It was her last supper.
She died at age 68 under conditions that could only be described as a "hoarder house".

The good news is, I met the girl I should have married in the first place in 1998.
We've been together ever since.

jeffkarencains (2019_02_27 17_41_55 UTC).jpg
 
Checkerboard Strangler said:
It was the first wife and although things started out as a storybook, they didn't stay that way for long.
There's ONE THING she did do that I'll always thank her for, indeed it was one reason I felt it was time to get serious about her in the first place.
Aside from that, the relationship became a nightmare about a year or so after we married. (1992)
By 1995 I was living alone in a truly depressing "bachelor pad" and wondering if I could manage to remain sober.

On August 1, 2017 she decided she wanted just another little taste of cocaine. It was her last supper.
She died at age 68 under conditions that could only be described as a "hoarder house".

The good news is, I met the girl I should have married in the first place in 1998.
We've been together ever since.

View attachment 67389053
Click to expand...
Somewhat similar story here.

I dated a girl in the late '80s, got her pregnant and had a baby. We broke up, but obviously kept in touch, as I accepted responsibility, paid my child support, etc. We each married and had two kids with our spouses. Things didn't work out for my marriage and I got divorced. Her marriage was rocky and her husband, who didn't take care of himself, dies of a heart attack at age 48.

Around the time I was about to retire from the Army in 2013, we started long range dating again (I was in San Antonio, she was in Northern Virginia.) In January 2014, I moved up there to live with her. We moved back down here to Corpus Christi and got married in September 2019. She's the one I should have been with all along.

279484798_533885904983765_5375991317784612699_n.jpg
 
armycowboy said:
Somewhat similar story here.

I dated a girl in the late '80s, got her pregnant and had a baby. We broke up, but obviously kept in touch, as I accepted responsibility, paid my child support, etc. We each married and had two kids with our spouses. Things didn't work out for my marriage and I got divorced. Her marriage was rocky and her husband, who didn't take care of himself, dies of a heart attack at age 48.

Around the time I was about to retire from the Army in 2013, we started long range dating again (I was in San Antonio, she was in Northern Virginia.) In January 2014, I moved up there to live with her. We moved back down here to Corpus Christi and got married in September 2019. She's the one I should have been with all along.

View attachment 67389055
Click to expand...


That's hardly similar! :LOL:
I did not get back together with Linda, no way no how.
Your lady is also breathtaking.
Your story reminds me of two very dear and now departed friends of mine, Mac and Debbie.

MacDebbieCentinelaApt.jpg

No children, but they met, fell in love, had a stormy but passion filled hippie marriage, then split up and Mac married "Charisse" and that lasted about eight years, and then after they split up, he and Debbie found each other again ---- "What were we thinking!" and they got back together and stayed together until Mac died in 2004, and Debbie followed him ten years later.

MacDebbieEarly80s1 (2019_02_27 17_41_55 UTC).jpg

I try to model my marriage to Karen on Mac and Debbie's relationship.
I learned how it is possible to always build ON the love even when things don't go smoothly.

After they got back together again, if they had an argument, it did not look or sound like
the fights of the past. Right in the middle of whatever, one or the other would hold up their hand for a moment
and say "I love you Mac" or "I love you Debbie" and it wasn't a sing songey repetition, it sounded genuine.

So on the rare occasions when Karen and I squabble, one of us does it.
"I love you Jeffery" or "I love you Karen"...and sometimes it makes us burst into laughter.

The "love chatter" is something I find very important...that little collection of familiar sweet nothings
a couple settles into if they have genuine feelings for each other, the little snippets or phrases
they send to each other that many might not even immediately understand, the tone of voice,
the practical jokes....THE GOOD STUFF.

But there is ONE THING that is similar to Karen and I.
I met Karen in 1984, long before meeting Linda.
Her sister was marrying my brother and I met Karen at the wedding and we went on
three dates and the chemistry was ideal, I was a goner immediately.
But Karen was going into the Navy in two weeks and boo hoo poor Jeff, and we each had one bad marriage
and then found each other again afterwards.
THAT PART is somewhat similar to you and your lady.

I imagine you consider yourself lucky, I know I sure do.
 
Checkerboard Strangler said:
That's hardly similar! :LOL:
I did not get back together with Linda, no way no how.
Your lady is also breathtaking.
Your story reminds me of two very dear and now departed friends of mine, Mac and Debbie.

View attachment 67389058

No children, but they met, fell in love, had a stormy but passion filled hippie marriage, then split up and Mac married "Charisse" and that lasted about eight years, and then after they split up, he and Debbie found each other again ---- "What were we thinking!" and they got back together and stayed together until Mac died in 2004, and Debbie followed him ten years later.

View attachment 67389057

I try to model my marriage to Karen on Mac and Debbie's relationship.
I learned how it is possible to always build ON the love even when things don't go smoothly.

After they got back together again, if they had an argument, it did not look or sound like
the fights of the past. Right in the middle of whatever, one or the other would hold up their hand for a moment
and say "I love you Mac" or "I love you Debbie" and it wasn't a sing songey repetition, it sounded genuine.

So on the rare occasions when Karen and I squabble, one of us does it.
"I love you Jeffery" or "I love you Karen"...and sometimes it makes us burst into laughter.

The "love chatter" is something I find very important...that little collection of familiar sweet nothings
a couple settles into if they have genuine feelings for each other, the little snippets or phrases
they send to each other that many might not even immediately understand, the tone of voice,
the practical jokes....THE GOOD STUFF.

But there is ONE THING that is similar to Karen and I.
I met Karen in 1984, long before meeting Linda.
Her sister was marrying my brother and I met Karen at the wedding and we went on
three dates and the chemistry was ideal, I was a goner immediately.
But Karen was going into the Navy in two weeks and boo hoo poor Jeff, and we each had one bad marriage
and then found each other again afterwards.
THAT PART is somewhat similar to you and your lady.

I imagine you consider yourself lucky, I know I sure do.
Click to expand...
It's similar in that we both found happiness and our true loves later in life than most.

Thank you for what you said about Michelle, every time she come out our of the bedroom before we go out, she takes my breath away.

You and Karen make a beautiful couple and I'm glad you're happy together.

Yes, I'm very lucky, even though I kick myself for not realizing back in the day, I should have married her. At the end of the day, we're both lucky men.
 
armycowboy said:
It's similar in that we both found happiness and our true loves later in life than most.

Thank you for what you said about Michelle, every time she come out our of the bedroom before we go out, she takes my breath away.

You and Karen make a beautiful couple and I'm glad you're happy together.

Yes, I'm very lucky, even though I kick myself for not realizing back in the day, I should have married her. At the end of the day, we're both lucky men.
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I'm sure half the board are rolling their eyes and sticking fingers down their throats as we talk about our "cute meet" stories.
IDGAF. :LOL:
But I will close with this...
Late November 1997, I'm talking to Karen's sister about going up for Sunday dinner.
My brother (again, her husband) is in the other room and yells to Nancy that Karen is on the other line.

"How IS Karen", I blurt out, the little pitter patter in my gut reminds me that I was a goner!
Nancy says Karen is depressed, hubby walked out on her and the kids, Christmas is coming, she barely
can get anything for them, son is still very sick, she is losing the ability to walk but too busy taking care of the boy.

"I want to call and try to cheer her up" and Nancy is having none of that, but I keep pestering her.
I call back several times and finally Nancy says "Oh ALRIGHT, I know I'll regret this!" and here's the number.
After about, oh I guess, a dozen calls I can't stand it anymore and I call one more time but before I do, I sort of clench my hands
trying to muster up twenty seconds of courage to spill the tea and I tell Karen that my feelings for her are the same as they were back in
1984, and "I'm going to hang up now and if you don't call back, I'll understand but at least now you know." CLICK.

About five minutes later....ring ring. :love:

"So you remember back then? So do I."

BINGO. That's how it all started and a year later here's me moving down to Arkansas to be with her.

JKHazelHouse2.jpg

Everyone else you can stop heaving now.
:ROFLMAO:
 
Phys251 said:
From a few years ago, still an issue today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/.../the-orgasm-gap-simple-truth-sexual-solutions









What's going on here? Why aren't straight women able to get off as well with a partner as lesbian women are, or especially by themselves?
Click to expand...
Well.. I think the fact that gay women are able to get each other off more often is that fact that since they both own similar erogenous zones, they're more in tune with how to push those buttons.

I had a girlfriend in school who loved quickies. She'd seldom come during them but she loved them anyway. Personally, I like to take my time, enjoy the sensation and not come right away. It could be that even when women don't come, they still enjoy the intimacy?
 
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