Ladies.... A Little Consistancy if You Please

[00timh]

I dont think hes typing ramdom craziness or trying to get a rise out of anyone... I think Tigger has taken an "ideal" or a "way of life" (a biblical way of life, the wife being the helpmate, the husband being the head of the family, and the spare the rod spoil the child thing) and totally made it into something it was not intended to be. Its just a very hardline, fundamentalist point of view. (and one that I, nor very many others, dont buy into). These are what he truthfully believes. Tiggers problem is that he is sooooo fundamentalist and hard and unbending in his views on life, love and humanity, that he isnt really willing to truly listen to what others have to say on any subject and take their points of view into consideration.... and that pisses a lot of people off. It is also the reason why Tigger will continue to be alone in this world... because there isnt another person on this planet who views the world and things EXACTLY like he or anyone else does... relationships are about compromise and sacrifice and love..... and I dont think he truly knows the meaning of any of the three.

Eh, I am not sold on that. His beliefs are highly twisted of even the hardline conservative of early U.S. never had such an irreverance to women. Women were always adored, put on a pedestal. Even if they were believed at the time to not have a place in politics or labor, things such as my better half, ladies 1st didn't come from such a lack of respect.

But then why the sphincter spasms when he gets dumped? why solicit advice and questions from women then disregard all of what you say as irrelevant cause he doesn't give a crap what you all think? I am suspicious that he has created a persona just to watch people get all knotted up for amusement. Highly juvenile and reeks of a 14 y/o mentality and a likely chronologic age match. As a past moderator of the political crossfire forum, I have seen that several times. If you are correct with your assumption, then he is just truly out there and it is not from a realistic basis from any historical point in U.S. society.

 

[liblady]

i saw a documentary about a man with a full facial scar.....he was being treated successfully, i think. were you treated as a youngster for the stain?

 

[Tigger]

i saw a documentary about a man with a full facial scar.....he was being treated successfully, i think. were you treated as a youngster for the stain?

The symptoms were treated. The glaucoma, the seizure, the bleeding, etc... Thankfully my cranial calcification is minimal, which is why I am much higher functioning than most with this type of birthmark. The birthmark itself is dark enough, large enough, and covers enough sensitive areas that there is really no way to remove it. I looked at a makeup option at one point, but that was an utter failure.

 

[liblady]

The symptoms were treated. The glaucoma, the seizure, the bleeding, etc... Thankfully my cranial calcification is minimal, which is why I am much higher functioning than most with this type of birthmark. The birthmark itself is dark enough, large enough, and covers enough sensitive areas that there is really no way to remove it. I looked at a makeup option at one point, but that was an utter failure.

sorry to hear that tigger.

 

[Mach]

Tigger,

Communication between the sexes, relationships, and sex, both complex, and extraordinarily important to the species. Not surprising it is hard to figure out, it's designed that way. If you could trump the entire human condition purely by being dominant and a logical thinker, our species would have ended long ago.

You touched on it from many angles. Yes, how could society survive if 95% of women were crushed by their rage-drive/dominant/logic-driven male partners? They couldn't. So they use, instinctively, a tool that can parry your best...non-logic. You admit it works (in the OP), we all know it does. Sophistry is designed around something similar!

And it's more than just that. It's also, an early relationship courting, similar to an interview. A woman would be able to tell very little about your real character, motivations, comittment, etc., if all you did was have yes or no questions that were consistently answered. It would be efficient for you, sure, but it would not be ideal for her, or the relationship (or the species). Just as you may know in interviews, the actual answers *don't matter*. Just as your statement of "you look pretty", to the woman, doesn't really matter. Words are cheap after all. You have to show it, you have to invest a lot more energy, often under duress, to *actually* communicate that to them. Just as in an interview one tries to wear the candidate out mentally, often with no food/drink/break for hours, stressfull questioning, open ended questions, and you're looking for their facade to fall down so you can glimpse the real them. Same with dating.

Much of your annoyance with their behavior is instinctive too, so it's not easy to fight it. The best I can offer is that you should be sure about what you want, typically that would be a relationship and intimacy, and you should put your energy into communicating that, confidently. And that's it. Obviously you'll set limits to how much you'll deal with, but within that range, be creative in how you pursue her, despite the roadblocks she puts in your way. She wants to see how you jump through hoops.

And lastly, it's an ongoing test (similar to the above but often less frequent and less dramatic), and it's an ongoing mystery. People in a relationship often know of trouble by changes in reactons, before anything is actually said. If one day you stopped caring that she was hot and you were cold...something might be up, so to speak. The bantering can be normal and healthy. And the ongoing mystery...have you ever won a game, or completely figured out the strategy, etc? Not fun any longer is it. Same applies here!

Good luck, I think most of us have been there and can sympathize, even if we don't subscribe to your specific worldview. The worst part, not all women are like this, and not with everyone, so fitting to the original question you posed, it's in large part a great big randomized crap shoot Self replicating bacteria have it easy

 

[Tigger]

sorry to hear that tigger.

It is what it is, liblady.....

 

[Goshin]

I didnt necessarily think that you were "Christian", its just that your viewpoint is one that most fundamentalist Christians subscribe to.

Yes, relationships are about finding two people whose views of the world are close enough that significant compromise is not necessary. But that poses a problem for you... because VERY few people, with the exception of maybe someone in that fundamentalist christian realm, is going to be in the same place that you are.

Actually most fundamentalist Christians are much more liberal on women's rights than Tigger. Jerry Falwell would blink and stutter at many of Tig's assertions about women's proper place.

Nothin' personal, Tig, but it's true.

 

[BamaBrat]

Thats different than a port wine stain kinda thing right? Tigger, do they have a name for the condition?

 

[Goshin]

It is what it is, liblady.....

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Bud, you got dealt a harsh set of cards, no doubt. I won't argue that.

All I been trying to tell you is that your attitude about women in particular, and life in general, is hurting you instead of helping you. I dunno what else to say.

Well, actually I can say this: if you maintain the general attitude and gender-beliefs you've exhibited so far, the odds that any woman is going to stay with you long-term is very thin. I'd almost wonder if your position on women's place is a subconscious rejection of women, a way of pushing them away because of your own inner doubts and fears.... I'm no shrink, but I've seen people do stuff like that before.

Anyway... I'm sorry you have that to deal with. I wish you the best but I have to reiterate that you're being your own worst enemy, IMO.

 

[Tigger]

Actually most fundamentalist Christians are much more liberal on women's rights than Tigger. Jerry Falwell would blink and stutter at many of Tig's assertions about women's proper place.

Nothin' personal, Tig, but it's true.

It is what it is, Goshin.

Thats different than a port wine stain kinda thing right? Tigger, do they have a name for the condition?

It's a birthmark, a port wine stain, a vascular anomoly. There are many different ways to describe it. The difference is that on the face like that there are other complications, which taken together form what is referred to as Sturge Weber Syndrome.

 

[Gardener]

It is what it is, Goshin.




.

yes, it is using a birthmark as a convenient excuse for treating women as if they are completely worthless so you can compensate for your own feelings of inadequacy.

 

[American]

yes, it is using a birthmark as a convenient excuse for treating women as if they are completely worthless so you can compensate for your own feelings of inadequacy.

So what's causing you to lack even an ounce of compassion from someone that should have this birthmark?

 

[BamaBrat]

It is what it is, Goshin.




It's a birthmark, a port wine stain, a vascular anomoly. There are many different ways to describe it. The difference is that on the face like that there are other complications, which taken together form what is referred to as Sturge Weber Syndrome.

I had a friend growing up who had one on the left side of his face... all over his face but just on the left. But his was more smooth looking and more wine colored. I dont believe he had any other issues that went along with it though, it was just a birthmark, thats why I asked.

But I get it now that I read a little about Sturge Weber Syndrome... the port wine stain is a symptom of the disease, along with the paralysis, glaucoma, etc.

 

[Tucker Case]

Tigger, my older sister has disease called Parry Romberg Syndrome that caused her to grow up looking like this:

That's not my sister in the picture, but that's pretty much exactly how the disease affected her.


It sucks to have to live with something like what you and she have.

But my sister's strength has inspired me to be a better person. She never gave up on herself. She's a wife and a mother of two and she is pretty happy with life despite the fact that she got a raw deal. No matter what, it can always get better. But things never get better on their own. You always have to try. You have the power to improve your situation in life. It all starts with an attitude, though.

 

[Gardener]

So what's causing you to lack even an ounce of compassion from someone that should have this birthmark?

The fact I have no compassion for his systematic dehumanization and degradation of women does not mean I have no compassion for his affliction. If he didn't use it as his excuse for degrading women, and if he didn't degrade them at all, I would have nothing BUT compassion for him.

What do you mean by "should have this birthmark", though? Are you saying that because I find his sick dehumanization of women disgusting that I should have this birthmark, instead?

 

[OscarB63]

It is what it is, liblady.....

View attachment 67119388

seriously dude, it's not that bad. at least it is somewhat uniform. I have seen much worse. I was in the air force with a guy who had a similar birthmark, except his was an irregular blotch that covered one side of his head and one eye. and he wasn't a miserable SOB who seemed to hate everyone around him. In fact, he was a SSGT and he wound up marrying a Capt.

 

[ecofarm]

Anything from opening their mouths on political issues to not being ready to leave at the pre-set time for an event. Of course the level of discipline/punishment varies according to the act, it's frequency, and the individual but it could be anything from simply being told to "Shut the **** up." to corporal punishment or in the most severe cases ending the relationship.

hahaha, As if. You don't have the self respect to leave anyone. If you ever do manage to find someone who wil put up with your horrific abuse, you know damn well that you will never find another. Just look at you in the current situation: "Either this 40-something mother of 5 living with her ex-husband goes for it, or it is impossible". You are WELL aware of your chances of finding someone to endure your neglect and torture. You are WELL aware of your chances of managing it twice. Therefore, you would NEVER leave whatever piece of garbage you manage to enslave. You KNOW this. You will continue to beat her, daily if necessary and she will continue to "disappoint" you.

There is absolutely no chance whatsoever that you could ever leave someone. You know what a piece of crap you present and your chances of finding a slave.

I understand that the Western world grants women those rights. I'm not entirely in agreement with that philosophy, however.

See?



ps. The birthmark is not so bad. I've seen WAY worse, including burns and other injuries. I've seen people who are just plain way uglier, without any mark/scars/injury. I see uglier people every day and ugly is genetic, birthmarks are not. I cannot believe someone would use that as an excuse to beat women. My guess is that Tigger hates his mommy and birthmark or no birthmark he'd be the same.

 

[00timh]

Thats different than a port wine stain kinda thing right? Tigger, do they have a name for the condition?

yeah its called BS. I do not believe it is him. People with these types of conditions do not grow up being so judgemental and and harsh the way he rambles. They need and embrace societies compassion and are almost always understanding because of what they have been through. I have known people in similar situations, in my line of work I have seen so many "abnormal" looking people and not one of them had a personality anywhere near his. All were opposite. Stop feeding the troll people, this is just an attempt after creating so much hate to then twist you all around for sympathy.

 

[Tigger]

I had a friend growing up who had one on the left side of his face... all over his face but just on the left. But his was more smooth looking and more wine colored. I dont believe he had any other issues that went along with it though, it was just a birthmark, thats why I asked.

But I get it now that I read a little about Sturge Weber Syndrome... the port wine stain is a symptom of the disease, along with the paralysis, glaucoma, etc.

The monopolar (one side) version is much more common. It's almost always around the orbital (eye) region. The full facial version is pretty rare and generally the most debilitating, which is part of why it's so staggeringly unusal that it isn't in my case.

Tigger, my older sister has disease called Parry Romberg Syndrome that caused her to grow up looking like this:

It sucks to have to live with something like what you and she have.

But my sister's strength has inspired me to be a better person. She never gave up on herself. She's a wife and a mother of two and she is pretty happy with life despite the fact that she got a raw deal. No matter what, it can always get better. But things never get better on their own. You always have to try. You have the power to improve your situation in life. It all starts with an attitude, though.

I hadn't seen that one before, Tucker. Definitely not a fun way to grow up for her, I'm sure.

As much as it can always get better, it can also always get worse. I am a pessimist by nature, and that's part of my personality totally separate from the birthmark. Always has been. It probably has a lot to do with other parts of my attitude/personality as well.

seriously dude, it's not that bad. at least it is somewhat uniform. I have seen much worse. I was in the air force with a guy who had a similar birthmark, except his was an irregular blotch that covered one side of his head and one eye. and he wasn't a miserable SOB who seemed to hate everyone around him. In fact, he was a SSGT and he wound up marrying a Capt.

Oh, I've seen much worse too, Oscar. As I mentioned above, the monopolar version is much more common and generally a little less problematic (not always). In terms of being a miserable SOB.... I'd probably be that with or without the birthmark, to be honest with you.

 

[Wake]

yeah its called BS. I do not believe it is him. People with these types of conditions do not grow up being so judgemental and and harsh the way he rambles. They need and embrace societies compassion and are almost always understanding because of what they have been through. I have known people in similar situations, in my line of work I have seen so many "abnormal" looking people and not one of them had a personality anywhere near his. All were opposite. Stop feeding the troll people, this is just an attempt after creating so much hate to then twist you all around for sympathy.

Don't be so sure. He seems to be civilly discussing his opinion, while everyone uncivilly jumps on him for it. I don't know what to make of this. I mean, he's respectfully sharing his views in a civil way, so maybe we shouldn't be so intolerant and uncivil towards him?

 

[Tigger]

Don't be so sure. He seems to be civilly discussing his opinion, while everyone uncivilly jumps on him for it. I don't know what to make of this. I mean, he's respectfully sharing his views in a civil way, so maybe we shouldn't be so intolerant and uncivil towards him?

I am who and what I am. That's not going to change. Nor am I here to change anyone else's opinion. Therefore nothing useful come from me screaming at people, swearing at them, or the like. If they choose not to believe I am who and what I am, that's fine. It doesn't change me.

 

[Wake]

I am who and what I am. That's not going to change. Nor am I here to change anyone else's opinion. Therefore nothing useful come from me screaming at people, swearing at them, or the like. If they choose not to believe I am who and what I am, that's fine. It doesn't change me.

See, that makes it difficult for reasonable people to dislike you.

Too bad other people on this forum don't adopt this positive aspect, myself included, for being a jerk earlier in this thread.

 

[ecofarm]

he's respectfully sharing his views in a civil way, so maybe we shouldn't be so intolerant and uncivil towards him?

I don't tolerate physical abuse. I don't give a crap how "civil" someone is when talking about how they do it, like it and will continue to do so. As far as being "uncivil" myself, HAH; I don't beat women. I give a crap about his (minor) physical problems. He is an unremoreful and unrepetent violent criminal of a worst sort and thus deserves no respect or sympathy.

 

[Wake]

I don't tolerate physical abuse. I don't give a crap how "civil" someone is when talking about how they do it, like it and will continue to do so. As far as being "uncivil" myself, HAH; I don't beat women.

Then we should rationally and civilly destroy his points. That would be the best option.

 

[OscarB63]

Don't be so sure. He seems to be civilly discussing his opinion, while everyone uncivilly jumps on him for it. I don't know what to make of this. I mean, he's respectfully sharing his views in a civil way, so maybe we shouldn't be so intolerant and uncivil towards him?

unfortunately, his views make him a woman hating, miserable SOB. pointing that out is not uncivil and I, for one, refuse to tolerate such behavior simple for the sake of tolerance.