What Makes a Man "A Man"

[LizardofOz]

Just wondering what you guys think. I believe any guy could be 30 and still no be a man. My belief is that a man is someone totally responsible for themselves that has others that rely on him for some kind of support be it mental, financial, family support etc. Thoughts or is everyone in agreeing on this?

 

[LesGovt]

Just wondering what you guys think. I believe any guy could be 30 and still no be a man. My belief is that a man is someone totally responsible for themselves that has others that rely on him for some kind of support be it mental, financial, family support etc. Thoughts or is everyone in agreeing on this?

My initial response was going to be testicles, but I don't think that is the answer you seek.

 

[DarkWizard12]

My initial response was going to be testicles, but I don't think that is the answer you seek.

and 8.5 inches.

 

[LesGovt]

OMG!!! Too funny!

Sorry, John, apparently, we are incorrigible. I apologize.

I will try to make it up to you by giving you a straight answer. I think a "man" is simply any adult male. There are all types of men. They can be categorized in many ways. Perhaps, to go along with your initial thoughts, would be a category of men of virtue vs. men of vice. The virtuous man would be totally responsible for himself and that others could rely on him. He would practice the positive virtues of personal responsibility, self-discipline, hard work, tenacity, frugality, honesty, etc., etc., etc. A person who was dishonest, lazy, lacked self-discipline, etc. would be a man of vice. Both would be men. One would be virtuous and the other one of vice. Is this along the lines of what you were thinking?

 

[spud_meister]

Wait, so if I went and lived out in the bush with nothing but my wits and a pointy condom to kill things with my penis I wouldn't be a man?

 

[Aunt Spiker]

Just wondering what you guys think. I believe any guy could be 30 and still no be a man. My belief is that a man is someone totally responsible for themselves that has others that rely on him for some kind of support be it mental, financial, family support etc. Thoughts or is everyone in agreeing on this?

Why?

Being a woman isnt' defined by your values or abilities in life - it's just defined by physical maturity. . . men shouldn't be cut down like that.

 

[Utility Man]

Different cultures have different standards, I am no man as defined by the folks in the below video.



The Art of Manliness | Men’s Interests and Lifestyle

 

[spud_meister]

The size of his penis gourd.

 

[Goshin]

One word, really: Responsibility.

A real man takes responsibility for his actions, and the consequences thereof. If he has a moral duty or obligation to someone, he fulfills it to the best of his ability.

This goes double for his family. A man who doesn't take care of his family is not a man.

 

[nota bene]

And he doesn't whine about it; he just does what has to be done--the right thing. Same for real women.

 

[SmokeAndMirrors]

It's really strange to me that almost everyone here considers any kind of support - even just emotional support - to be bad and emasculating.

No wonder depressed men tend to hide it until he point where they put a gun in their mouths. Geez.

It's not humiliating to be human. It's not humiliating to need people. We're social creatures. If you DON'T need people, there is something psychologically wrong with you.

A balanced person (of any sex) is both a pillar to others, and not embarrassed to admit it when they're not ok. And yes, ideally they also possess responsibility and discipline. But going to the extreme of considering it emasculating if they ever need help or support is pretty screwed up and unhealthy.

 

[d0gbreath]

Some people say a man is made outta mud
A poor man's made outta muscle and blood
Muscle and blood and skin and bones
A mind that's a-weak and a back that's strong

Or, just ask these guys.

 

[shintao]

OMG!!! Too funny!

Sorry, John, apparently, we are incorrigible. I apologize.

I will try to make it up to you by giving you a straight answer. I think a "man" is simply any adult male. There are all types of men. They can be categorized in many ways. Perhaps, to go along with your initial thoughts, would be a category of men of virtue vs. men of vice. The virtuous man would be totally responsible for himself and that others could rely on him. He would practice the positive virtues of personal responsibility, self-discipline, hard work, tenacity, frugality, honesty, etc., etc., etc. A person who was dishonest, lazy, lacked self-discipline, etc. would be a man of vice. Both would be men. One would be virtuous and the other one of vice. Is this along the lines of what you were thinking?

Those are great qualities, and more of the etc. etc.

 

[Deuce]

Besides the penis and penis-related items, are any of these mentioned qualities not also desirable traits in women?

 

[Aderleth]

OMG!!! Too funny!

Sorry, John, apparently, we are incorrigible. I apologize.

I will try to make it up to you by giving you a straight answer. I think a "man" is simply any adult male. There are all types of men. They can be categorized in many ways. Perhaps, to go along with your initial thoughts, would be a category of men of virtue vs. men of vice. The virtuous man would be totally responsible for himself and that others could rely on him. He would practice the positive virtues of personal responsibility, self-discipline, hard work, tenacity, frugality, honesty, etc., etc., etc. A person who was dishonest, lazy, lacked self-discipline, etc. would be a man of vice. Both would be men. One would be virtuous and the other one of vice. Is this along the lines of what you were thinking?

Of course there are men of vice who are frequently extremely good at handling (e.g.) financial matters, but they still drink heavily and are extremely lazy and self serving in a variety of ways (I've dated at least two girls with fathers that fall into this category). By contrast, there are "men" who work extremely hard to deal with (e.g.) social issues who never make any money at all, but who stand up for their principles, etc. Does this make them "men" in the sense that the OP is talking about? I do not know.

 

[Slartibartfast]

Just wondering what you guys think. I believe any guy could be 30 and still no be a man. My belief is that a man is someone totally responsible for themselves that has others that rely on him for some kind of support be it mental, financial, family support etc. Thoughts or is everyone in agreeing on this?

I think it has something to do with the number of roads he must walk down.

 

[LesGovt]

Of course there are men of vice who are frequently extremely good at handling (e.g.) financial matters, but they still drink heavily and are extremely lazy and self serving in a variety of ways (I've dated at least two girls with fathers that fall into this category). By contrast, there are "men" who work extremely hard to deal with (e.g.) social issues who never make any money at all, but who stand up for their principles, etc. Does this make them "men" in the sense that the OP is talking about? I do not know.

They would be men. They would be men who could be more virtuous.

 

[LizardofOz]

It's really strange to me that almost everyone here considers any kind of support - even just emotional support - to be bad and emasculating.

No wonder depressed men tend to hide it until he point where they put a gun in their mouths. Geez.

It's not humiliating to be human. It's not humiliating to need people. We're social creatures. If you DON'T need people, there is something psychologically wrong with you.

A balanced person (of any sex) is both a pillar to others, and not embarrassed to admit it when they're not ok. And yes, ideally they also possess responsibility and discipline. But going to the extreme of considering it emasculating if they ever need help or support is pretty screwed up and unhealthy.

That's all fine and good but to be a real man, and not just be an older boy like so many guys are now means if you get that help, you use it to better yourself and not need that help anymore. Many men fail to launch--even more nowadays never even try to launch when they should or could.

 

[SheWolf]

Wait, so if I went and lived out in the bush with nothing but my wits and a pointy condom to kill things with my penis I wouldn't be a man?

I consider that crazy, not manly

 

[spud_meister]

I consider that crazy, not manly

:shrug: Same thing really. :mrgreen:

 

[sangha]

One word, really: Responsibility.

A real man takes responsibility for his actions, and the consequences thereof. If he has a moral duty or obligation to someone, he fulfills it to the best of his ability.

This goes double for his family. A man who doesn't take care of his family is not a man.

So if a male gets sick, and his wife has to care for him, he is no longer a man?

 

[sangha]

And he doesn't whine about it; he just does what has to be done--the right thing. Same for real women.

Tony Soprano agrees!

Tony Soprano: Let me tell ya something. Nowadays, everybody's gotta go to shrinks, and counselors, and go on "Sally Jessy Raphael" and talk about their problems. What happened to Gary Cooper? The strong, silent type. That was an American. He wasn't in touch with his feelings. He just did what he had to do. See, what they didn't know was once they got Gary Cooper in touch with his feelings that they wouldn't be able to shut him up! And then it's dysfunction this, and dysfunction that, and dysfunction ma fangul!

 

[Fiddytree]

It's not the woman in his arms, even if she has big titties.

No, it's probably the titties.

 

[Goshin]

So if a male gets sick, and his wife has to care for him, he is no longer a man?

I have no idea how you got that, out of this:

One word, really: Responsibility.

A real man takes responsibility for his actions, and the consequences thereof. If he has a moral duty or obligation to someone, he fulfills it to the best of his ability.

This goes double for his family. A man who doesn't take care of his family is not a man.

... unless it is because I failed to present an exhaustive list of "reasonable causes why a man may have to be dependent on others to some degree". That would be a mightly long list. It could include not only illness and injury, but mental incapacity due to causes beyond his control; inborn physical or mental disabilities; or maybe for a period of time he's lost his job and can't get another while his wife is employed and keeping the household going. We could fill pages with such "what ifs"... or maybe I thought I covered all that when I said:

...to the best of his ability.

Of course if a man is unable to support his family for reasons beyond his control, it is not a reflection on his character but merely a matter of circumstance. I thought that went without saying, but you can't cover everything in one short post. :mrgreen:

 

[sangha]

I have no idea how you got that, out of this:



... unless it is because I failed to present an exhaustive list of "reasonable causes why a man may have to be dependent on others to some degree". That would be a mightly long list. It could include not only illness and injury, but mental incapacity due to causes beyond his control; inborn physical or mental disabilities; or maybe for a period of time he's lost his job and can't get another while his wife is employed and keeping the household going. We could fill pages with such "what ifs"... or maybe I thought I covered all that when I said:



Of course if a man is unable to support his family for reasons beyond his control, it is not a reflection on his character but merely a matter of circumstance. I thought that went without saying, but you can't cover everything in one short post. :mrgreen:

For one thing, I didn't get any idea about what you believe. I only asked a question about what you said. Specifically

A man who doesn't take care of his family is not a man.

wrt to the phrase "reasons beyond his control" that was in a different sentence than your remark about a man taking care of his family. It wasn't clear if it applied to the previous sentence, so I asked.

It sounds as if you think it's responsibility which is the critical characteristic of a man. The 1st sentence of that post strongly suggests that. If so, then the definition you're giving is the definition of an adult. While I don't disagree with your definition, I think the OP was asking what separates a man from a woman. I could be wrong about that, but the OP does suggest that he was looking for such a definition.