- Joined
- Oct 20, 2009
- Messages
- 28,431
- Reaction score
- 16,989
- Location
- Sasnakra
- Gender
- Female
- Political Leaning
- Moderate
What is a stay at home mother? (sahm for short).
If I were to believe other people’s opinions on this matter, a stay at home mother would be:
1. Not judgmental of others.
2. A pleasant and tolerable person who cares for everyone like smoking or drinking.
3. She likely doesn’t curse or engage in other activity deemed to be questionable.
4. Perhaps she would engage in leisurely pursuits like swimming with the children and walks in the park on a daily basis.
5. She also might be involved in mommy-toddler groups and hang out with other sahms en mass.
6. She is most likely a high school graduate, though not a college graduate, as she probably chose to forgo higher education in lieu of family.
7. Happily married.
8. Healthy and well cared for.
Why do I conclude this? Because I am a stay at home mom who hears and reads these stereotypes on a routine basis.
What, Stay at Home Mothers cannot be politically informed, well educated, opinionated, well informed? Why not? None of the above save for #7 comes close to summing up who I am. The above list is the stereotype, and it's bull****.
MEN: Quit stereotyping stay at home mothers.
Of course I should amend this to say "Men and Women" - but the women rarely do this. I’ve yet to meet a woman who judges me for my choice to the degree that I've been chaffed by men. I've read some articles online from women who negate this, and every now and then La Graza voices an opinion in some little known speech, but I’ve butted heads with a lot of men who don’t realize I AM a Stay at Home Mother. I don't fulfill their stereotype, so they assume I can't possibly be one.
Now, I do judge myself quite harshly because my choice to be a Stay at Home Mother has had very serious side effects – I am living this reality, not just jumping to conclusions about how the lifestyle really is. I see how people stereotype Stay at Home Mothers, and it bothers me that they think I'm like that, or should be like that, when clearly I'm not.
I don't fit the behavioral stereotype, and that seems to cause all sorts of problems.
As a result - when I debate something, people see my responses, see my views on religion, politics, gender norms, sexuality, my cursing habit and my mouthy views - I mention one iota of fact about Stay at Home Mothers being stuck in their decision, most likely to not be happy - anything, just bringing up a factual reality - and BAM - the male in the debate ASSUMES I am a WORKING MOTHER who OPPOSES Stay at Home Moms.
Doing all these things does not mean I loath Stay at Home Mothers. When I speak of it negatively it is because I'm dealing with the harsh reality of what this choice can do to a family, a spouse, and yourself. It's not all peaches and cream. I say it's a luxury few people can rarely afford and that's the truth. Anyone who says otherwise is full of ****.
My Stay at Home Mom reality:
I’m educated, I have a 4.0 in college, though, because I am a mother and a military wife, I’ve yet to graduate. I’m an aspiring author, it’s a leisure pursuit but I do have a murder mystery in the works that I intend on publish one day. I am a do-it-yourselfer, as how my husband’s often deployed, I’ve had to take on all of our home renovations without help. I’ve also had to take on vehicle maintenance and lawn-care. In fact, everything I didn’t do ten years ago, I do now. I could go on, all of this is very much NOT Stay at Home approved.
Do people really think I'm going to alter my life and who I am because they believe that, to be a SAHM, I must embrace all of the above? I didn't realize this choice would come with such narrow minded rigidity from others.
I consider being a Mother to be:
1. A never ending job in which you are guaranteed to never get enough sleep. - Whether you work or not doesn’t affect this.
2. It’s a struggle to balance the need of your spouse and family with the needs of yourself. Often, your needs and wants take a back seat. Maybe, at the end of the day, you have some time to yourself even though we know that really means “I have time to take a shower, and I will have ten minutes of down time.” - It doesn’t matter whether you work or not.
3. IT means having to do things you don’t want to do. I don’t want to build cabinets and rip up sub-flooring. I don’t want to crawl under the house to repair plumbing in the middle of winter. I don’t want to climb in the attic to fix a short in the electrical during the summer. I don't want to have to put aside my continuing education, but I do. I don't want to have to get up at 6 am and stay up 'til 12, but I do. – It doesn’t matter that I’m employed or not.
Please – everyone – GUYS IN PARTICULAR – stop stereotyping Stay at Home Mothers. In fact, just stop stereotyping women in general based on employment status. How's that?
Stay at Home Mothers are permitted to:
1. Be informed of our natural born and government granted rights, and debate them as we see fit.
2. Find employment when we see it is fit.
3. Have an opinion and voice it as we desire.
4. We don’t have to be happy a happy Stay at Home Mother if we are not happy with our decision to be one.
5. We can be educated, high school and above, if we so choose.
6. We can curse if we want.
7. We can enjoy things like porn, and write silly little love stories when we’re lonely, and read stupid books like Twilight.
All in all, we’re normal people with normal needs and interests, just like everyone else. – Being a Stay at Home Mom doesn’t change the fact that we’re just people. It doesn't erode our brains to where we're unthinking idiots with drool trailing down our chins.
My name is Aunt Spiker, I am a Stay at Home Mother, and I approve this message.
If I were to believe other people’s opinions on this matter, a stay at home mother would be:
1. Not judgmental of others.
2. A pleasant and tolerable person who cares for everyone like smoking or drinking.
3. She likely doesn’t curse or engage in other activity deemed to be questionable.
4. Perhaps she would engage in leisurely pursuits like swimming with the children and walks in the park on a daily basis.
5. She also might be involved in mommy-toddler groups and hang out with other sahms en mass.
6. She is most likely a high school graduate, though not a college graduate, as she probably chose to forgo higher education in lieu of family.
7. Happily married.
8. Healthy and well cared for.
Why do I conclude this? Because I am a stay at home mom who hears and reads these stereotypes on a routine basis.
What, Stay at Home Mothers cannot be politically informed, well educated, opinionated, well informed? Why not? None of the above save for #7 comes close to summing up who I am. The above list is the stereotype, and it's bull****.
MEN: Quit stereotyping stay at home mothers.
Of course I should amend this to say "Men and Women" - but the women rarely do this. I’ve yet to meet a woman who judges me for my choice to the degree that I've been chaffed by men. I've read some articles online from women who negate this, and every now and then La Graza voices an opinion in some little known speech, but I’ve butted heads with a lot of men who don’t realize I AM a Stay at Home Mother. I don't fulfill their stereotype, so they assume I can't possibly be one.
Now, I do judge myself quite harshly because my choice to be a Stay at Home Mother has had very serious side effects – I am living this reality, not just jumping to conclusions about how the lifestyle really is. I see how people stereotype Stay at Home Mothers, and it bothers me that they think I'm like that, or should be like that, when clearly I'm not.
I don't fit the behavioral stereotype, and that seems to cause all sorts of problems.
As a result - when I debate something, people see my responses, see my views on religion, politics, gender norms, sexuality, my cursing habit and my mouthy views - I mention one iota of fact about Stay at Home Mothers being stuck in their decision, most likely to not be happy - anything, just bringing up a factual reality - and BAM - the male in the debate ASSUMES I am a WORKING MOTHER who OPPOSES Stay at Home Moms.
Doing all these things does not mean I loath Stay at Home Mothers. When I speak of it negatively it is because I'm dealing with the harsh reality of what this choice can do to a family, a spouse, and yourself. It's not all peaches and cream. I say it's a luxury few people can rarely afford and that's the truth. Anyone who says otherwise is full of ****.
My Stay at Home Mom reality:
I’m educated, I have a 4.0 in college, though, because I am a mother and a military wife, I’ve yet to graduate. I’m an aspiring author, it’s a leisure pursuit but I do have a murder mystery in the works that I intend on publish one day. I am a do-it-yourselfer, as how my husband’s often deployed, I’ve had to take on all of our home renovations without help. I’ve also had to take on vehicle maintenance and lawn-care. In fact, everything I didn’t do ten years ago, I do now. I could go on, all of this is very much NOT Stay at Home approved.
Do people really think I'm going to alter my life and who I am because they believe that, to be a SAHM, I must embrace all of the above? I didn't realize this choice would come with such narrow minded rigidity from others.
I consider being a Mother to be:
1. A never ending job in which you are guaranteed to never get enough sleep. - Whether you work or not doesn’t affect this.
2. It’s a struggle to balance the need of your spouse and family with the needs of yourself. Often, your needs and wants take a back seat. Maybe, at the end of the day, you have some time to yourself even though we know that really means “I have time to take a shower, and I will have ten minutes of down time.” - It doesn’t matter whether you work or not.
3. IT means having to do things you don’t want to do. I don’t want to build cabinets and rip up sub-flooring. I don’t want to crawl under the house to repair plumbing in the middle of winter. I don’t want to climb in the attic to fix a short in the electrical during the summer. I don't want to have to put aside my continuing education, but I do. I don't want to have to get up at 6 am and stay up 'til 12, but I do. – It doesn’t matter that I’m employed or not.
Please – everyone – GUYS IN PARTICULAR – stop stereotyping Stay at Home Mothers. In fact, just stop stereotyping women in general based on employment status. How's that?
Stay at Home Mothers are permitted to:
1. Be informed of our natural born and government granted rights, and debate them as we see fit.
2. Find employment when we see it is fit.
3. Have an opinion and voice it as we desire.
4. We don’t have to be happy a happy Stay at Home Mother if we are not happy with our decision to be one.
5. We can be educated, high school and above, if we so choose.
6. We can curse if we want.
7. We can enjoy things like porn, and write silly little love stories when we’re lonely, and read stupid books like Twilight.
All in all, we’re normal people with normal needs and interests, just like everyone else. – Being a Stay at Home Mom doesn’t change the fact that we’re just people. It doesn't erode our brains to where we're unthinking idiots with drool trailing down our chins.
My name is Aunt Spiker, I am a Stay at Home Mother, and I approve this message.
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