I know, and I love how you emphasize the YOUR part. So true.
Yeah, I remember you talked about him a lot. He was a great guy and Im sure he would back you up all the way in spirit.I am. When hubs died, about 90% of my income went with him. I'm not destitute, but I'm not rolling in clover, either.
You are not doing anything to anyone!!Thank you. I know that's what I need to do - just hard to do that to your kids/grandkids.
It's a cash sale only, because it won't pass inspection. Like I said, we bought it as a fixer-upper. The wiring is about half finished, the plumbing is about half finished, etc. The offers I'm getting are full cash offers.
expected....you love them, and want to do the right thing
dear....you have DONE THE RIGHT THING
whats the old saying about leading a horse to water
Hardest decision i EVER made was kicking my son out of the house....and making him stand on his own damn feet
You can only ENABLE them so long....and the time has come
Yeah, I remember you talked about him a lot. He was a great guy and Im sure he would back you up all the way in spirit.
Take care of yourself and while they may not like this decision, your kids and grandkids will thank you in the long run, Im sure of it.
That's what my friend said today. My oldest daughter is 35. Her husband is 40. My middle child is 24 and her boyfriend is 29. My youngest is 22. They can all work.
It's just the kids I'm worried about. To be angry and upset at the adults has adverse side effects on the children.
I’d also worry about kids living in a non-code compliant house with total slackers expected to look out for their well being. If something bad should happen to those kids or their friends, you may have problems getting your homeowner insurance to honor a claim under those conditions.
Tell them you have to take the next decent offer and then sell it. No questions or excuses. You helped them out as long as you could. You feel bad for them, I know, but you did your best. Now the ball is in their court. All you can do is cross your fingers for them. They'll come through, somehow or other.
Thanks. That's what I'm going to have to do. I can't get out of the quagmire I am in until I stop covering for them.
They like to use the, "Dad left this house to all of us, not just you," and I've had to explain that that's not how it works. My middle daughter became so pissed at me for wanting to sell it and said that I had no right. She said, "You promised you'd give us this house, not sell it and go somewhere else." I was so angry - I was like, "How about you let me die before you decide what I'm supposed to do with MY HOUSE."
My response is to take the emotion out of it ... If your children are unable to meet expectations from what you've described .. I would have the hard conversation with them. They are making their problems .. yours.Hey, y'all. Could use some advice.
Let me preface this by saying this is regarding my family, so please - if you can't say anything nice, just don't bother.
I have a house down near Birmingham, paid for, free and clear. When my husband was still alive, we bought it with every intention of fixing it up. He passed away before we were able to get any work done. All of a sudden, I was cash-strapped with no money to fix the house up, and I didn't know how to fix it up on my own.
When I started working in Louisiana, it stood, for the most part, empty. I had planned on putting it on the market, but my adult daughter's lease was up, and she needed somewhere to go that would take herself, her family, and her pets.
I told her that she could live in my house, as long as they fixed it up and did some minor repairs that needed to be done, and they said that that would be no problem. I also told them that I wouldn't hammer them with rent, as long as they paid my homeowner's insurance bill every month. They said that that would be no problem as well.
That were supposed to live there only long enough to make the repairs on their house, so they could move in there, and my house would be empty. Their house is in a bad neighborhood, and the electrician who is rewiring it doesn't want to rewire the house, because people will break into the house and steal the wiring out of the walls (for a 2nd time). So no work is currently being done, and no work is being done on my house, either (they haven't really done any repairs to it).
They missed this month's rent payment and can't pay it until like the 19th. If I waited that long, my homeowner's would expire, so I'm having to pay for it myself out of an already strapped check, and then just hope that eventually they will pay me back.
They've been in my house for a year. I had a solid cash offer on my house, if they could close in 3 weeks. I have to have a minimum of a 60 day close, though, because it will take that long for my daughter to get her house ready. So I had to turn down that offer.
I am so angry and frustrated. They shouldn't have been there that long, but that's beside the point. My daughter hasn't been working, mostly because she doesn't want to, but also she's been having trouble with her son acting out, and she can't leave him alone. He's threatened suicide (not sure if he's serious, but you have to take any threat seriously), and my son-in-law just suffered a stress-related heart attack last week.
I'm so torn. I don't know what to do. I am having to work just to be able to pay rent on my house, just because I can't sell my house and pay for another one. I'm literally paying rent on a house, even though I have a house that's paid in full. They don't have a lot of money, and have too many dogs to be able to rent a regular house while their house is being worked on.
I don't know what to do. I am in such a bad spot and I can't kick them out, but I need to be able to sell my house, so I can buy a house here, and pay my car off. If I do that, I will be saving $1,800 a month, and won't even really have to work. I can go back to the way I was before, where I didn't have to work, and had much more free time.
I feel like I'm being selfish, but I've given them a year and nothing is moving forward at all. I'm broke as **** and can't afford to keep paying all these bills by myself when I shouldn't even have to.
Even if there is an issue with the will (which I doubt), so long as you hold title to the house it would cost them thousands in legal fees (up front) to challenge the sale.
My response is to take the emotion out of it ... If your children are unable to meet expectations from what you've described .. I would have the hard conversation with them. They are making their problems .. yours.
Sorry you’re having to go through all this. Dealing with family can certainly be difficult, but maybe it’s time to give them a hard date when they have to be out so you can sell it and move on? Only other thing I can think that might help would be to get them to sign a lease so you can at least take legal action if you have to.Hey, y'all. Could use some advice.
Let me preface this by saying this is regarding my family, so please - if you can't say anything nice, just don't bother.
I have a house down near Birmingham, paid for, free and clear. When my husband was still alive, we bought it with every intention of fixing it up. He passed away before we were able to get any work done. All of a sudden, I was cash-strapped with no money to fix the house up, and I didn't know how to fix it up on my own.
When I started working in Louisiana, it stood, for the most part, empty. I had planned on putting it on the market, but my adult daughter's lease was up, and she needed somewhere to go that would take herself, her family, and her pets.
I told her that she could live in my house, as long as they fixed it up and did some minor repairs that needed to be done, and they said that that would be no problem. I also told them that I wouldn't hammer them with rent, as long as they paid my homeowner's insurance bill every month. They said that that would be no problem as well.
That were supposed to live there only long enough to make the repairs on their house, so they could move in there, and my house would be empty. Their house is in a bad neighborhood, and the electrician who is rewiring it doesn't want to rewire the house, because people will break into the house and steal the wiring out of the walls (for a 2nd time). So no work is currently being done, and no work is being done on my house, either (they haven't really done any repairs to it).
They missed this month's rent payment and can't pay it until like the 19th. If I waited that long, my homeowner's would expire, so I'm having to pay for it myself out of an already strapped check, and then just hope that eventually they will pay me back.
They've been in my house for a year. I had a solid cash offer on my house, if they could close in 3 weeks. I have to have a minimum of a 60 day close, though, because it will take that long for my daughter to get her house ready. So I had to turn down that offer.
I am so angry and frustrated. They shouldn't have been there that long, but that's beside the point. My daughter hasn't been working, mostly because she doesn't want to, but also she's been having trouble with her son acting out, and she can't leave him alone. He's threatened suicide (not sure if he's serious, but you have to take any threat seriously), and my son-in-law just suffered a stress-related heart attack last week.
I'm so torn. I don't know what to do. I am having to work just to be able to pay rent on my house, just because I can't sell my house and pay for another one. I'm literally paying rent on a house, even though I have a house that's paid in full. They don't have a lot of money, and have too many dogs to be able to rent a regular house while their house is being worked on.
I don't know what to do. I am in such a bad spot and I can't kick them out, but I need to be able to sell my house, so I can buy a house here, and pay my car off. If I do that, I will be saving $1,800 a month, and won't even really have to work. I can go back to the way I was before, where I didn't have to work, and had much more free time.
I feel like I'm being selfish, but I've given them a year and nothing is moving forward at all. I'm broke as **** and can't afford to keep paying all these bills by myself when I shouldn't even have to.
I think this is the right approach. It's the forcing function they need to get their act together for the next ~40+ years to come, and it's the right approach for you.Tell them you have to take the next decent offer and then sell it. No questions or excuses. You helped them out as long as you could. You feel bad for them, I know, but you did your best. Now the ball is in their court. All you can do is cross your fingers for them. They'll come through, somehow or other.
Sorry you’re having to go through all this. Dealing with family can certainly be difficult, but maybe it’s time to give them a hard date when they have to be out so you can sell it and move on? Only other thing I can think that might help would be to get them to sign a lease so you can at least take legal action if you have to.
I think this is the right approach. It's the forcing function they need to get their act together for the next ~40+ years to come, and it's the right approach for you.
I'm sorry you are going thru this.Hey, y'all. Could use some advice.
Let me preface this by saying this is regarding my family, so please - if you can't say anything nice, just don't bother.
I have a house down near Birmingham, paid for, free and clear. When my husband was still alive, we bought it with every intention of fixing it up. He passed away before we were able to get any work done. All of a sudden, I was cash-strapped with no money to fix the house up, and I didn't know how to fix it up on my own.
When I started working in Louisiana, it stood, for the most part, empty. I had planned on putting it on the market, but my adult daughter's lease was up, and she needed somewhere to go that would take herself, her family, and her pets.
I told her that she could live in my house, as long as they fixed it up and did some minor repairs that needed to be done, and they said that that would be no problem. I also told them that I wouldn't hammer them with rent, as long as they paid my homeowner's insurance bill every month. They said that that would be no problem as well.
That were supposed to live there only long enough to make the repairs on their house, so they could move in there, and my house would be empty. Their house is in a bad neighborhood, and the electrician who is rewiring it doesn't want to rewire the house, because people will break into the house and steal the wiring out of the walls (for a 2nd time). So no work is currently being done, and no work is being done on my house, either (they haven't really done any repairs to it).
They missed this month's rent payment and can't pay it until like the 19th. If I waited that long, my homeowner's would expire, so I'm having to pay for it myself out of an already strapped check, and then just hope that eventually they will pay me back.
They've been in my house for a year. I had a solid cash offer on my house, if they could close in 3 weeks. I have to have a minimum of a 60 day close, though, because it will take that long for my daughter to get her house ready. So I had to turn down that offer.
I am so angry and frustrated. They shouldn't have been there that long, but that's beside the point. My daughter hasn't been working, mostly because she doesn't want to, but also she's been having trouble with her son acting out, and she can't leave him alone. He's threatened suicide (not sure if he's serious, but you have to take any threat seriously), and my son-in-law just suffered a stress-related heart attack last week.
I'm so torn. I don't know what to do. I am having to work just to be able to pay rent on my house, just because I can't sell my house and pay for another one. I'm literally paying rent on a house, even though I have a house that's paid in full. They don't have a lot of money, and have too many dogs to be able to rent a regular house while their house is being worked on.
I don't know what to do. I am in such a bad spot and I can't kick them out, but I need to be able to sell my house, so I can buy a house here, and pay my car off. If I do that, I will be saving $1,800 a month, and won't even really have to work. I can go back to the way I was before, where I didn't have to work, and had much more free time.
I feel like I'm being selfish, but I've given them a year and nothing is moving forward at all. I'm broke as **** and can't afford to keep paying all these bills by myself when I shouldn't even have to.
Everything that happened before your son-in-law recently suffered a heart attack is irrelevant since, if it rendered him in a life threatening or a recuperative phase. All we know is what you have shared. If his health has seriously turned for the worse, they probably are doing the best they can, although it is debatable whether they were before, or not.Oh **** no. I deliberately had my landlord put into my lease that no one could live there but me, because I knew my kids would try to move in with me. *sigh*
And yes, I have discussed it with them, and all I get is, "We are doing the best that we can."
Tough thing to do, but really what choice do you have?And it's giving them time to get their shit together. I think I'm going to give them until March 1. That's almost 60 days. Between all of them working, they should have plenty of time to get things in order.
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