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How to say no respectfully....

Mellie said:
One thing I've had some problems with in dating is how to say no to an offer for a date without sounding like a jerk. Any tips?
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Yeah, say "no thanks".

That's it.

Anything else you say will be used to try and convince you to go on said date.

And so what if you sound like a jerk? You're not actually being a jerk so that's their problem.
 
SE102 said:
Tactfully make up an excuse you should have plenty of 'contingencies' in your life that will take up soem space that may cover datetime. Also some polite aversion and negotiation may be in order. If you have sales experience you may be able to 'negotiate' politely your way to a 'no ty'.
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No offense, but that's a really bad idea and I hope you aren't being serious. "No thank you" or "I don't see us headed in that direction," while perhaps a bit more painful are also not going to lead into any gray areas.
 
Jerry said:
Yeah, say "no thanks".

That's it.

Anything else you say will be used to try and convince you to go on said date.

And so what if you sound like a jerk? You're not actually being a jerk so that's their problem.
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More women need to know that both "No" and "No thanks" are complete sentences.
 
Here's a response that rejects him without hurting his feelings (in fact, he'll prefer to be rejected!) and prevents him from ever asking again.

"Before I say yes, I have to warn you that I have genital herpes and HIV."
 
Tucker Case said:
Here's a response that rejects him without hurting his feelings (in fact, he'll prefer to be rejected!) and prevents him from ever asking again.

"Before I say yes, I have to warn you that I have genital herpes and HIV."
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Wow me too :iloveyou:
 
Jerry said:
Wow me too :iloveyou:
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In that case, she can say "HA! I knew it! I don't have HIV and Herpes, but I could tell you did! When were you going to tell me? After I caught it too!"


(You don't ever have to worry about the feelings of a person who has HIV and herpes and asks you out without disclosing those facts to you)
 
Tucker Case said:
In that case, she can say "HA! I knew it! I don't have HIV and Herpes, but I could tell you did! When were you going to tell me? After I caught it too!"


(You don't ever have to worry about the feelings of a person who has HIV and herpes and asks you out without disclosing those facts to you)
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Remember the other day when I slipped you that roofie?




.....oh, no you wouldn't remember that....




Well anyway yeah, you have HIV and Herpes :)
 
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Jerry said:
Remember the other day when I slipped you that roofie?




.....oh, no you wouldn't remember that....




Well anyway yeah, you have HIV and Herpes :)
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:rofl :rofl

At least I can now explain to my wife what I was doing last thursday and why I spent all of friday morning crying in the bathroom.
 
Mellie said:
One thing I've had some problems with in dating is how to say no to an offer for a date without sounding like a jerk. Any tips?
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No...thank you?

If you're not interested, then you just aren't interested. It's better to just come out and say it rather than string someone along.
 
Just tell them you're in a serious relationship or that you have a boyfriend.

If you use the "serious relationship" excuse, he doesn't have to know that your relationship with your parents is serious, so you're not technically lying.:mrgreen:
 
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lizzie said:
Just tell them you're in a serious relationship or that you have a boyfriend.

If you use the "serious relationship" excuse, he doesn't have to know that your relationship with your parents is serious, so you're not technically lying.:mrgreen:
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Right, except that if they spot you flirting with anyone else in the near future, they might join the conversation with, "I thought you were in serious relationship?"

;)
 
One thing I have learned is that most men prefer direct feedback. So trust me when I say a direct "no thanks (as others here have suggested)," is usually plenty. In the past, I spent way too much time over the years agonizing over how to break it to them gently when it was not even remotely necessary. They are no doubt, from Mars. ;-)
 
Middleground said:
One thing I have learned is that most men prefer direct feedback. So trust me when I say a direct "no thanks (as others here have suggested)," is usually plenty. In the past, I spent way too much time over the years agonizing over how to break it to them gently when it was not even remotely necessary. They are no doubt, from Mars. ;-)
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This.

Just so long as, you know, your direct feedback isn't delivered as if you take it as a personal affront that you got asked out by THAT guy.

Direct yet polite = good.
 
TacticalEvilDan said:
This.

Just so long as, you know, your direct feedback isn't delivered as if you take it as a personal affront that you got asked out by THAT guy.

Direct yet polite = good.
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Yes, you're right. It absolutely should be polite.
 
I just figured I should qualify that because lots of people seem to think that direct and honest and forthright go together with rude and abrasive.

TED,
All of those things, mind, but strictly for the fun of it. :lol:
 
Middleground said:
One thing I have learned is that most men prefer direct feedback. So trust me when I say a direct "no thanks (as others here have suggested)," is usually plenty. In the past, I spent way too much time over the years agonizing over how to break it to them gently when it was not even remotely necessary. They are no doubt, from Mars. ;-)
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I have experienced that some of them still overreact, when I simply say 'no thanks'. But, I still do think this is the best way to handle it, and I usually cut the discussion if they want to argue.
 
I have always found that a polite "WHAT?! -- Does it look like I have the words "**** me" written across my forehead?!" did the trick.

At least I never asked twice.
 
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