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How to say no respectfully....

Josie

Josie

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One thing I've had some problems with in dating is how to say no to an offer for a date without sounding like a jerk. Any tips?
 
Hm. It really depends on your relationship with that person and who they are personally. Everyone will take things differently, and no matter what you say some will be offended. I think a general and respectful phrase would be "I'm sorry, I just don't feel our relationship heading in that direction."
 
"No thank you."
 
"I'm sorry, I just don't feel our relationship heading in that direction."
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Wow!! Top that, I dare ya'. Seems like it who the person was would make no difference -- friend, co-worker, whatever. That's a winner.
 
MaggieD said:
Wow!! Top that, I dare ya'. Seems like it who the person was would make no difference -- friend, co-worker, whatever. That's a winner.
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I think it sounds like a Human Resource manager laying you off.
 
Maybe the problem is that it's ALWAYS going to be uncomfortable no matter what you say or how you say it. I've gone on dates just because I didn't want to hurt the guys' feelings and say no. I wish I hadn't done that.
 
@ Mellie, so do they.

@ Independent Thinker -- pot shot, but no suggestion?? (What's a pot shot anyhow?)
 
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Mellie said:
Maybe the problem is that it's ALWAYS going to be uncomfortable no matter what you say or how you say it. I've gone on dates just because I didn't want to hurt the guys' feelings and say no. I wish I hadn't done that.
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Honesty is the best policy, though you can sugarcoat it a bit to not hurt their feelings.

MaggieD said:
@ Mellie, so do they.

@ Independent Thinker -- pot shot, but no suggestion?? (What's a pot shot anyhow?)
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I already said, "No thank you." It's direct, polite, and unambiguous.
 
"You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny."

"Sorry, I don't date outside my species."

"Absolutely. Pick me up at the corner of No and Way, second Tuesday of next week."

"Sure. I just got an invitation to this year's Bring A Dork Ball, and you'd be perfect."

"What? Oh darn... my Anti-Loser spray must have worn off!"

"I'd like to say yes, but my self-respect gets in the way."

"Brush your teeth, comb your hair, buy a new wardrobe, get a car, and move out of your mother's basement... then we'll talk."

"It's too bad you didn't ask me yesterday... I was feeling really masochistic."
 
Mellie said:
Maybe the problem is that it's ALWAYS going to be uncomfortable no matter what you say or how you say it. I've gone on dates just because I didn't want to hurt the guys' feelings and say no. I wish I hadn't done that.
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Hold your head up high. I myself love women who don't like to say no. You get a lot in return as well.
 
Mellie said:
One thing I've had some problems with in dating is how to say no to an offer for a date without sounding like a jerk. Any tips?
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I say, the most diplomatic thing to do is to keep it short and simple and keep all emotional tone out of it. Then the guy just has the date rejection to deal with, and no add ons to make it worse.

I just say 'No, I dont want to' and then walk away, if possible.
 
TacticalEvilDan said:
Well, how would you want someone to turn you down?
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Hmmmmm.....well, I don't really ask guys on dates unless we've been out a few times and it's going well. Then I'll say "Hey, let's go see this movie" or something. I suppose if he wasn't really into me after a few dates and I asked him, I'd like him to tell me the truth. Maybe something like...."I really think you're great, but I don't see this going anywhere romantically." Honesty always works for me even though that would make me feel like a idiot. :p
 
Sounds good.

What is the durka durka thing about?
 
Goshin said:
"You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny."

"Sorry, I don't date outside my species."

"Absolutely. Pick me up at the corner of No and Way, second Tuesday of next week."

"Sure. I just got an invitation to this year's Bring A Dork Ball, and you'd be perfect."

"What? Oh darn... my Anti-Loser spray must have worn off!"

"I'd like to say yes, but my self-respect gets in the way."

"Brush your teeth, comb your hair, buy a new wardrobe, get a car, and move out of your mother's basement... then we'll talk."

"It's too bad you didn't ask me yesterday... I was feeling really masochistic."
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:lol::lol::lamo

 
Mellie said:
One thing I've had some problems with in dating is how to say no to an offer for a date without sounding like a jerk. Any tips?
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Tactfully make up an excuse you should have plenty of 'contingencies' in your life that will take up soem space that may cover datetime. Also some polite aversion and negotiation may be in order. If you have sales experience you may be able to 'negotiate' politely your way to a 'no ty'.
 
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SE102 said:
Tactfully make up an excuse you should have plenty of 'contingencies' in your life that will take up soem space that may cover datetime. Also some polite aversion and negotiation may be in order. If you have sales experience you may be able to 'negotiate' politely your way to a 'no ty'.
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If you make excuses every time they ask, they'll just keep asking.
Better to say no.
 
Idk... if they're pushy, yeah. Generally most people are a little more easy going and get a clue. But Its really situational I couldn't give a straight answer on how to directly say no. Generally most people should be perceptive enough not to ask embarrasing questions they could get rejected from. IDK. Im prolly wrong.
 
SE102 said:
Tactfully make up an excuse you should have plenty of 'contingencies' in your life that will take up soem space that may cover datetime. Also some polite aversion and negotiation may be in order. If you have sales experience you may be able to 'negotiate' politely your way to a 'no ty'.
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I don't like making things up. I did that once and I felt like crap afterwards.
 
''If you have sales experience ...''
Avoid saying anything that sales people would say. The ones who come to my door trying to sell something are incredibly annoying. Being bothered by them should be illegal.
 
if you wish to date me, you must complete 12 tasks, which are:
1. To kill the Nemean lion.
2. To destroy the Lernaean Hydra.
3. To capture the Ceryneian Hind.
4. To capture the Erymanthian Boar.
5. To clean the Augean Stables.
6. To kill the Stymphalian Birds.
7. To capture the Cretan Bull.
8. To round up the Mares of Diomedes.
9. To steal the Girdle of Hippolyte.
10. To herd the Cattle of Geryon.
11. To fetch the Apples of Hesperides.
12. To capture Cerberus.
 
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In order to date me you must be able to count to 7. :mrgreen:
 
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