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What should I do?

God this thread is pitiful, repeter. Seriously, really sad.

You need to decide if you want to be this girl's friend or pursue her; you can't have your cake and eat it too. Either resign to being friends and stop having feelings for her or pursue her without caring whether or not you'll be friends later (chances are you won't). You can't "play it safe" or you'll for sure fail.

Also, don't sit her down and tell her you like her. Is that what you were planning to do? I certainly hope not.
 
Repeter,

The question seems to be, "Do you follow your heart or do you follow your personal code of ethics and maintain the friendship?"

You have to make a decision: either you value your friendship with this girl more or you take the risk of losing the friendship in pursuit of love.

If you pursue her as a love interest, I don't see how you can continue to be "just friends" feeling the way you do about her. But if you continue to hide your feelings and continue with these "hot guy marathons" with her, you'll likely end up sitting on the sidelines watching as the girl you love dates others but comes to you for advice on how to handle situations from her other romantic relationships all the while she knows exactly how you feel about her. Does that sound fair to you that you should be her confidont concerning her romantic relationship all the while you're thinking you should be "that guy"?

I'd love to tell you to follow your heart, but truth is you have to decide if you value your relationship with her more as a friend rather than as a love interest. If so, you bury your romatic interest in her and allow the friendship to be. But if you can't see yourself being just her friend, you owe it to yourself to tell her exactly how you feel and if she doesn't recipricate you need to decide what to do from there. Personally, I'd walk away if your feelings for her run that deep but she'd rather remain just friends. I don't think I could function normally being around someone I cared that deeply for but all she wanted was to remain friends no matter how long I've known her.

Sidenote: Seems she's holding onto you as some sort of safety net...she doesn't want to be alone as far as guys are concerned, yet she doesn't want to "date you" for fear of losing the special bond the two of you share. On the one hand, there's nothing wrong with a guy and a girl being the best of buds...except when one party no longer sees the relationship as "just friends". So, if you can't see yourself being just friends with her, you really do need to tell her how you feel and if she rejects your romatic interest perhaps the best thing to do is to walk away...find someone else. My guess is eventually when you do find someone else, she'll come to realize she let a really good guy get away.
 
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I would say you have to ask yourself some questions and make a decision based on values. How much do you want her to be your girlfriend and not just a "sister" friend" How much do you value that friendship with this girl? If you do ask her to be your girlfriend or pursue that relationship and she doesn't want it, then you can pretty much kiss your friendship goodbye as it would be awkward and naturally deteriorate.

My advice would be to wait and be patient. If she wants you to be her boyfriend then she will hint at it. If she wants you to be her boyfriend, and you want her to be your girlfriend, then that relationship will develop. Is dating this girl worth risking your friendship with her? Just wait, if a dating relationship is meant to be then it will happen. However, if friendship is meant to be then that is what it will stay.

How is the situation with her current boyfriend who moved away to college in June? Does she still love him? Are they in a long distance relationship? It's almost always best to wait several months after a girl breaks up, because she may feel that you are just trying to hook her "on the rebound" and that your friendship was really just a superficial attempt to land her as a girlfriend.
 
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repeter said:
Okay, about this time last year, I started to get to know this girl better. Now, she and I are great friends, and we talk practically every day, and its not just a shallow relationship, its a friendship which will last our entire lives. The problem is I absolutely love her. She loves me as well, but like a brother I guess, not someone she would date. And on top of this, she knows I like her.

This girl just graduated, but she is going to a community college. She is in a relationship that ends June 24th, when her boyfriend moves to LA for college. Despite her graduating, I will see her plenty of times next year.

Right now, I just got back for another summer course at Harvard. I talked with her for about an hour today, but she told me she wants me to talk to her less because she wants me to do good in my classes here at Harvard.

I really don't know what to do, but I know when I get back home, she and I have a movie marathon planned. She calls it a hot guy marathon, I call it an action movie marathon. Either way, I'm going to be spending a few hours at her house, watching movies.

My parents both think shes great, so I don't have to worry about them fussing over me going out with her, and her parents love me, so she won't have that problem either. On top of that, her younger sister and I are moderately good friends, and I'm really good friends with both of her brothers, one of whom is 19 and the other is 16.

More then once, she has told me she wants to impress me, and I don't know whether to believe this, but one of her other friends said she considered dating me earlier in the year, before she was with her current boyfriend.

I really don't know what to do about this...I care for her, but she doesn't care about me in the same way. I'd really appreciate any help, this is eating my alive from the inside out :(
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She is likely to see you as a wimp as you have just waited for her to break up with her boyfriend.Ive always been of the opinion if you really like a girl you should make it clear straight away.Pretending to be just liking someone as a friend is not really being a friend.
 
repeter said:
Okay, about this time last year, I started to get to know this girl better. Now, she and I are great friends, and we talk practically every day, and its not just a shallow relationship, its a friendship which will last our entire lives. The problem is I absolutely love her. She loves me as well, but like a brother I guess, not someone she would date. And on top of this, she knows I like her.

This girl just graduated, but she is going to a community college. She is in a relationship that ends June 24th, when her boyfriend moves to LA for college. Despite her graduating, I will see her plenty of times next year.

Right now, I just got back for another summer course at Harvard. I talked with her for about an hour today, but she told me she wants me to talk to her less because she wants me to do good in my classes here at Harvard.

I really don't know what to do, but I know when I get back home, she and I have a movie marathon planned. She calls it a hot guy marathon, I call it an action movie marathon. Either way, I'm going to be spending a few hours at her house, watching movies.

My parents both think shes great, so I don't have to worry about them fussing over me going out with her, and her parents love me, so she won't have that problem either. On top of that, her younger sister and I are moderately good friends, and I'm really good friends with both of her brothers, one of whom is 19 and the other is 16.

More then once, she has told me she wants to impress me, and I don't know whether to believe this, but one of her other friends said she considered dating me earlier in the year, before she was with her current boyfriend.

I really don't know what to do about this...I care for her, but she doesn't care about me in the same way. I'd really appreciate any help, this is eating my alive from the inside out :(
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Simple. Stick it in all her friends, and sister.... :thumbs:
 
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