repeter
DP Veteran
- Joined
- Apr 2, 2009
- Messages
- 3,445
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- Location
- California
- Gender
- Male
- Political Leaning
- Centrist
When in doubt, whip your dick out.
I didn't do that several times, and learned the hard way. I asked my current flame, whose very straitlaced, "if I brought out my penis on Day X, would you have gone out with me then?"
She replied by jumping on top of me.
It works, trust me.
Assuming you meant that literally, I'm trying to think of some way you could be more crude, or more wrong.
You whip our your dick when you are reasonably certain that the appearance of the aforementioned body part will be well-recieved... not as a means of questioning whether a friend-woman is intrested in becoming a lover. Dick's function is not to ask questions, he isn't equipped for that.
I mean, wouldn't you have felt stupid if you'd whipped out your dick, and she sat there staring at you in dismay and asked "What the hell did you do that for? What's wrong with you, where you raised in a whorehouse?"
Okay, about this time last year, I started to get to know this girl better. Now, she and I are great friends, and we talk practically every day, and its not just a shallow relationship, its a friendship which will last our entire lives. The problem is I absolutely love her. She loves me as well, but like a brother I guess, not someone she would date. And on top of this, she knows I like her.
<snip>
I really don't know what to do about this...I care for her, but she doesn't care about me in the same way. I'd really appreciate any help, this is eating my alive from the inside out
I've lived more than 30 years in your shoes.
It doesn't end well. (at least it didn't im my case)
Only, I joined the Marine Corps to impress mine as she went off to college. My family couldn't afford college. I wrote letters, promised only to be a friend,... but she always knew better. I would let it slip and she would have to remind me.
If we weren't writing letters, I would try to find her in internet searches. Even when I was married,... but especially when I was divorced.
Then came the day, I found her obituary.
Like I said,...
It didn't end well,... and I have yet to have any peace about it.
Only questions.
Woh, hold on there. Take a joke.
Do you really think that anyone would ever "when in doubt, whip it out?"
Ya never know. I've run into some strange people on the Interwebs.
Try using a smilie or two next time, it helps get the point across that you're joking.
date her girl friends. if she is interested she will then let you know ... especially if you have impressed them
it's a strange phenomenon, but many women will not find you desirable until they see you are with another woman
So the general consensus seems to be I need to simply ask her if she will ever consider me more as a potential boyfriend...and if she responds negatively, I need to move on?
She is getting out of her relationship in a few days, so depending on how our conversations go for sometime afterwards, should I looks for hints whether she might want to enter one with me maybe?
And during the movie marathon, I should see if she wants to move into the romantic area?
My biggest problem with relationships, is that I can't enter one unless I feel unconditionally attracted to the girl. So far, that has only happened in this one instance, and I'm really not sure how to handle it. I remember asking one of my teachers for advice, and he told me a story of how he spent nearly every day with a girl he loved for 6 months, only to have her never consider him as more then a friend.
Looking at the extreme likelihood that she will never want to enter a romantic relationship with me, how do I start to move away from her?
Yes, you should openly talk to her about this within the week. Assume anything other than an unequivocal "yes" actually means "never".
Okay... if you're really really in love with this girl, and you have to end your feelings for her so you can move on, I think the only way to do this is a clean and total break. Don't see her, don't call her, don't hang out. If she calls you, you can chit-chat for a bit, but if your heart goes pitter-patter even once, tell her you have to go and do something else. If you fiddle around and "sorta kinda break off with her", that's also how your feelings for her will be: "sorta kinda not really getting over her cuz you're still in her orbit."
Male-female friendships only work if each views the other purely as a friend. When one is in the friend-zone and the other is in love, it is an unequal friendship and it can't work. A clean break is necessary for the good of the one whose feelings are engaged.
There is the problem for me. I can, at least for some time, maintain a friendship with her, and enjoy it, if she doesn't want to be romantically involved. And more then that...I want to continue to know her, and talk to her, at least to some extent.
Perhaps I should talk to her about this after she breaks up with her boyfriend, and then see how things go at the movie thing?
I know where that is going to go though, she will almost certainly reject me, and it's downhill for me from there. If I put her in a corner by saying I can't talk to her because i care about her too much, I'll feel like a total a**.
Don't say it, then. Just do it.
Just gradually and politely disengage yourself from the friendship, until you're not talking to each other anymore.
Unless, of course, you don't mind being friends with someone you find sexually attractive who has absolutely no romantic feelings toward you at all.
If that's the case, continue the friendship, but repress your attraction- hide it completely- so that it doesn't make things awkward and uncomfortable, because you already know that it is not reciprocated, and will not be.
I can't do that really. She has, on many occassions, told me she values our relationshpi a lot, and it is really meaningful, and that it isn't all s**t and giggles like it is with her other friends. For that reason alone, I really can't leave her as a friend. Maybe that'd be a good way of getting her interested in me, by not talking to her for a long time, and I know she would try reaching out to me.
And I don't think I have to completely shut down any attraction for her. When we talk, and I say something nice, she'll ask whether I'd say that to someone else, and I'll say that she is special to me, a tender moment so to speak, and we have about one of those per conversation or so.
There is the problem for me. I can, at least for some time, maintain a friendship with her, and enjoy it, if she doesn't want to be romantically involved. And more then that...I want to continue to know her, and talk to her, at least to some extent.
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