What is a good age to have the FULL sex talk?

[AGENT J]

Im having it this month with my daughter has Im a single dad with full custody and she has finally started her period and is talking about boys.

We have had small talks starting at 10( since some girls get their period this early and she did have spotting that went away) but not the full talk so I really want her to know she is "bad" for having thoughts or the "devil" and I really want to be there for her so I can fill in any questions and we have a open door communication built.

Dont want her learning/thinkin stupid things I hear kids say like girl on top cant get pregnant, or do it under water and you cant get pregnant. IMO information is always the way to go.

Also in 2 years her sex ed will be waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than I ever had at her age has i saw her future health book, man its crazy but yet great at the same time.

 

[apdst]

Im having it this month with my daughter has Im a single dad with full custody and she has finally started her period and is talking about boys.

We have had small talks starting at 10( since some girls get their period this early and she did have spotting that went away) but not the full talk so I really want her to know she is "bad" for having thoughts or the "devil" and I really want to be there for her so I can fill in any questions and we have a open door communication built.

Dont want her learning/thinkin stupid things I hear kids say like girl on top cant get pregnant, or do it under water and you cant get pregnant. IMO information is always the way to go.

Also in 2 years her sex ed will be waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than I ever had at her age has i saw her future health book, man its crazy but yet great at the same time.

For a girl? The day before she gets married; or even the morning of. Until then, keep an eye on her every move.

 

[Redress]

This is why I am glad I am not a parent. For me the answer would be "at about 45".

 

[1069]

It depends on the kid.

 

[jujuman13]

Don't worry, she likely knows more NOW than you ever will. ROFLMAO

 

[AGENT J]

For a girl? The day before she gets married; or even the morning of. Until then, keep an eye on her every move.

IMO this would be absolutely silly, wrong, harmful and naive

 

[Black Dog]

I voted other. When the child is ready. We all mature at different rates, why be restricted?

 

[AGENT J]

This is why I am glad I am not a parent. For me the answer would be "at about 45".

LOL
trust me I feel the same way but Im a realist
I have joked with her and told her she isnt allowed to date untill 35

but thats not reality so rather then keep her dumb information is lway better, just hope I dont stroke out while having the talk or when she has questions

 

[AGENT J]

I voted other. When the child is ready. We all mature at different rates, why be restricted?

Uhm? how would you know when the child is ready if you dont start talks?
also im not trying to restrict anything or make a law lol just want to know peoples opinions

 

[soccerboy22]

I got my around 12 or 13, but most of my friends got it at about 15. I think the best time to talk about it is when a parent and child start talking about the opposite sex. So, it sounds like for you and your daughter you are at the right spot to finally talk about it.

 

[AGENT J]

I got my around 12 or 13, but most of my friends got it at about 15. I think the best time to talk about it is when a parent and child start talking about the opposite sex. So, it sounds like for you and your daughter you are at the right spot to finally talk about it.

thats what im thinking, I was younger when things started but per her personality i waited, I actually feel its late for the talk but like i said i used the same perimeters has you.
She is 13 by the way.

 

[Redress]

Don't worry, she likely knows more NOW than you ever will. ROFLMAO

Oh, now that is just cold.

 

[apdst]

IMO this would be absolutely silly, wrong, harmful and naive

Say that when your daughter comes home to tell you that she's knocked up.

My daughters and step daughter don't make a move that I don't know about.

 

[soccerboy22]

Say that when your daughter comes home to tell you that she's knocked up.

My daughters and step daughter don't make a move that I don't know about.

I don't know. In my mind and was the case with many of my friends the full sex talk included talk about condoms and other forms of birth control if we ever found ourselves in a situation were we might be having sex.

 

[zimmer]

You can't put an age on it... people reach different levels of maturity/awareness at different times. (In general) A girl in a rural midwestern town that's pretty quiet would probably be ready for the talk a little later than a genetically gifted girl growing up on the beaches of Santa Monica. If I were the Dad in Santa Monica, I'd give her a baseball bat to carry around. One that matched mine

I say you, as parent need to figure out when first fraction of an inkling of sexual curiosity is visible (in her, her friends or boys) and give her the talk before it blossoms.

I don't envy you...

.

 

[Black Dog]

Uhm? how would you know when the child is ready if you dont start talks?
also im not trying to restrict anything or make a law lol just want to know peoples opinions

Because my daughter asked me. The child will let you know when they are ready because they will ask.

Also was a teacher at the YMCA after school. Believe me, if the child is a normal kid you or the wife will be asked in no uncertain terms when they want to know.

 

[AGENT J]

Say that when your daughter comes home to tell you that she's knocked up.

My daughters and step daughter don't make a move that I don't know about.

LMAO yeah thats what I said wow talk about a total leap

no one ever said my daughters make moves without me but since she is active in school, sports and other extra cirricluar activity its totally niave to think she will have no acces to anything bad LOL

actually she has more chances of getting knocked up your way unless of course you keep her in a semi-prison

my way she will be educated and KNOW the wrongs and rights that are real, not false ones, like many kids and IF she does happen to get away (before marriage has you put it, totally naive) she'll know what is safe and not save, she wont be a dummy

 

[AGENT J]

Because my daughter asked me. The child will let you know when they are ready because they will ask.

sorry I also think this is niave,i do not think that all kids will ask and that is a proven fact
I like to THINK she will, I HOPE she would but its not worth the risk IMO

 

[AGENT J]

You can't put an age on it... people reach different levels of maturity/awareness at different times. (In general) A girl in a rural midwestern town that's pretty quiet would probably be ready for the talk a little later than a genetically gifted girl growing up on the beaches of Santa Monica. If I were the Dad in Santa Monica, I'd give her a baseball bat to carry around. One that matched mine

I say you, as parent need to figure out when first fraction of an inkling of sexual curiosity is visible (in her, her friends or boys) and give her the talk before it blossoms.

I don't envy you...

.

I agree there really isnt a "best age"

and also like the other poster your criteria is the one I am using and that is now
thanks

 

[soccerboy22]

Because my daughter asked me. The child will let you know when they are ready because they will ask.

I disagree. I still leave the room when a sex scene comes up in a movie when my parents are around. It is just uncomfortable and awkward. But kudos for you daughter to coming up and talking to you about it.

 

[The Mark]

I'd say ask her to tell you what she knows about the issue, then correct any faulty information.

As with the internetz these days, she very likely knows more than you even know exists.

 

[1069]

My dad never had any "sex talk" with me, but he knew I read a lot, he did nothing to restrict my reading material at any age, and he knew I'd ask him if I had questions, because I asked him questions about anything I wanted to know about.
The idea of talking to my dad about sex made me really uncomfortable.
It still does, actually.

I never talked to my kids much about sex, either. Their dad talked to them, I guess.
I did talk to them a little bit about puberty and stuff.
It just seems like, by the time you feel maybe you should talk to them, they already know.
And when you try to broach the subject, it's like "Stop! I already know all this, okay? I already know! Just stop."

I just felt like, clearly, they were uncomfortable discussing this with me, just like I was uncomfortable discussing it with my dad.
So I didn't force it.
I figured they probably did already know; they're smart like I was, and they have the added benefit of the internet. There aren't many questions you can't find answers to online.

:shrug:

 

[AGENT J]

I disagree. I still leave the room when a sex scene comes up in a movie when my parents are around. It is just uncomfortable and awkward. But kudos for you daughter to coming up and talking to you about it.

definitely agree with the kudos but like you I aslo agree that the majority will not do this

 

[Black Dog]

sorry I also think this is niave,i do not think that all kids will ask and that is a proven fact
I like to THINK she will, I HOPE she would but its not worth the risk IMO

Your right I am just naive, don't listen to a guy who's daughter is married and is an engineer. Hell what do I know?

 

[AGENT J]

I'd say ask her to tell you what she knows about the issue, then correct any faulty information.

As with the internetz these days, she very likely knows more than you even know exists.

this is step number one and my plan
but i think im going to give her extra info also or guide her to ask the question i want? maybe htats a better way

well I doubt she knows more than me the internet is very much my friend LOL

also her net is restricted as I feel it should be