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What is a good age to have the FULL sex talk?

What is a good age to have the FULL sex talk?


  • Total voters
    30
I remember reading Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret in third or fourth grade; for those of you who aren't familiar with it (I suspect most women around my age are), it's Judy Blume's classic coming-of-age story about a girl waiting to start her period.

It baffled the **** out of me, frankly. :lol:

While an open, candid, and compassionate take on pubescent girlhood, it was unfortunately written sometime in the early 60s, I guess, when there was a lot more apparatus involved in feminine protection products. It all sounded pretty complicated: hooks and straps, belts and pads, harnesses and girdles and god knows what. At least that's my recollection.

I remember thinking, "I've seen pads in the store, but where the hell am I going to get all this other stuff?" :lol:

I was relieved to learn, once I got a little older and my friends started menstruating (I was pretty much the last one of my crowd to start), that all that stuff was obsolete, and that it had all become comparatively simple.
I finally got a glimpse of what Judy Blume was referring to in Margaret after I had my first child, when the nurses strapped some kind of weird belt onto me, that had straps with snaps and a big giant fat pad that went between my legs.
It's hard to believe that women used to wear such contraptions every month, not just immediately post-partum.
 
Don't really remember my mom or dad talking to me about sex, actually. But, I did get a talking to after they found out I was sexually active. Also immediately got put on the pill and given condoms.

My dad liked to think he knew every move my sister and I made (in fact, he'll still make this claim from time to time). But she and I know better. My mother and father were both pretty ****ing clueless about what we were doing. Not that they didn't try. But if your kids want to have sex... they're gonna. Best to make sure they have knowledge and means to do it safely.
 
agree, i call it big talk only because im going to keep it going as long as seems fitting as most other small talks I cut once intial questions were answered, not always but most times

What I've found with my daughter is that if you create some openness and safety there, and you cultivate a good poker face, she will ask you questions and feel comfortable doing it, and if she realizes that you will just give her the facts, no nonsense, and then tell her what you hope her choices will be, but not be super preachy or judgey. And definitely don't act super embarrassed or freaked out. Just give her the facts, tell her what you hope her choices will be, and then let her process that. Handling it like that, in my opinion, will create many opportunities for a conversation that goes on for years. So far, this has worked with my daughter, who tells me (occasionally) more than I want to hear, but that is definitely better than the other scenario.
 
no offense, but this is how I was raised, and as soon as I went to college, I went nuts. Introducing kids gradually to some degree of freedom allows the teenager to internalize their own values and own them, versus having them forced on them by the parent (and the kids never really take ownership of them).

Tell us about it... ;)
 
I'm still pretty receptive to sex talk and I'm 55.
 
I remember reading Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret in third or fourth grade; for those of you who aren't familiar with it (I suspect most women around my age are), it's Judy Blume's classic coming-of-age story about a girl waiting to start her period.

That book freaked me the **** out. I'm glad actually having a period is much less complicated than reading about having a period makes it seem.
 
Seriously though as soon as she expresses an interest in Boys it is time to have that talk.
It is not age dependent, it is the maturity of the child.
You should answer any question she may have honestly and in a factual manner, if you act embarrassed over any of her questions she will get the impression that it is shameful and something to be embarrassed about.
None the less I wish you good luck.
Personally I had a Boy and when the time came to sit down with him to discuss sex, i found he had a greater knowledge than did I, which thoroughly discomforted myself and my wife.
However I do acknowledge that it is different for a girl.
 
I have. You'll just have to search through my 16k posts to find them.

I was hoping for an index. I went crazy in college too. Actually, I went crazy in the Army and that carried over to college. I used to invite girls to my room in the middle of the day by offering cookies. :) I met a lot of great girls that way. Nothing like afternoon sex.
 
Seriously though as soon as she expresses an interest in Boys it is time to have that talk.
It is not age dependent, it is the maturity of the child.
You should answer any question she may have honestly and in a factual manner, if you act embarrassed over any of her questions she will get the impression that it is shameful and something to be embarrassed about.
None the less I wish you good luck.
Personally I had a Boy and when the time came to sit down with him to discuss sex, i found he had a greater knowledge than did I, which thoroughly discomforted myself and my wife.
However I do acknowledge that it is different for a girl.


What makes you think so?
 
I was hoping for an index. I went crazy in college too. Actually, I went crazy in the Army and that carried over to college. I used to invite girls to my room in the middle of the day by offering cookies. :) I met a lot of great girls that way. Nothing like afternoon sex.

To tie this back to the thread, I did pay a consequence for being such a whore. I contracted crabs, Chlamydia, ultimately genital warts. Crabs sucked, but a little shampoo does the trick. Chlamydia takes some penicillin.

Genital warts, on the other hand is with you for life. It is caused by the HPV virus, which is quite common out there. I am a very moral person. I will not be an active participant in spreading disease. Therefore, since age 25, I have had sex exactly zero times. I tried raising the issue with dates, but that was not very pleasant and I had the darnedest time finding someone who already had warts. No warts dating site out there, unfortunately. I have thought about making an internet million with the idea but I can't find any backers. I eventually stopped trying and stopped asking girls out around 27. Now I am 42 and Diabetes brings its own challenges.

As good as it feels, advise your daughter to think twice about being loose and always use a condom.
 
Don't really remember my mom or dad talking to me about sex, actually. But, I did get a talking to after they found out I was sexually active. Also immediately got put on the pill and given condoms.

My dad liked to think he knew every move my sister and I made (in fact, he'll still make this claim from time to time). But she and I know better. My mother and father were both pretty ****ing clueless about what we were doing. Not that they didn't try. But if your kids want to have sex... they're gonna. Best to make sure they have knowledge and means to do it safely.


agree 1000000000% ;)
 
What I've found with my daughter is that if you create some openness and safety there, and you cultivate a good poker face, she will ask you questions and feel comfortable doing it, and if she realizes that you will just give her the facts, no nonsense, and then tell her what you hope her choices will be, but not be super preachy or judgey. And definitely don't act super embarrassed or freaked out. Just give her the facts, tell her what you hope her choices will be, and then let her process that. Handling it like that, in my opinion, will create many opportunities for a conversation that goes on for years. So far, this has worked with my daughter, who tells me (occasionally) more than I want to hear, but that is definitely better than the other scenario.



i know what you mean as i already get this is just hasnt been about sex yet but your right its better than the other
 
Seriously though as soon as she expresses an interest in Boys it is time to have that talk.
It is not age dependent, it is the maturity of the child.
You should answer any question she may have honestly and in a factual manner, if you act embarrassed over any of her questions she will get the impression that it is shameful and something to be embarrassed about.
None the less I wish you good luck.
Personally I had a Boy and when the time came to sit down with him to discuss sex, i found he had a greater knowledge than did I, which thoroughly discomforted myself and my wife.
However I do acknowledge that it is different for a girl.

Thanks lol
 
To tie this back to the thread, I did pay a consequence for being such a whore. I contracted crabs, Chlamydia, ultimately genital warts. Crabs sucked, but a little shampoo does the trick. Chlamydia takes some penicillin.

Genital warts, on the other hand is with you for life. It is caused by the HPV virus, which is quite common out there. I am a very moral person. I will not be an active participant in spreading disease. Therefore, since age 25, I have had sex exactly zero times. I tried raising the issue with dates, but that was not very pleasant and I had the darnedest time finding someone who already had warts. No warts dating site out there, unfortunately. I have thought about making an internet million with the idea but I can't find any backers. I eventually stopped trying and stopped asking girls out around 27. Now I am 42 and Diabetes brings its own challenges.

Dang. Can't you get them removed or something?
 
Dang. Can't you get them removed or something?

Yes, you can get them removed, but that doesn't mean your body is rid of the virus. However, HPV isn't necessarily with you for life, your body can get rid of it. (and frequently does) There is just no "cure", it's just up to whether or not your body manages to get rid of the virus.
 
Yes, you can get them removed, but that doesn't mean your body is rid of the virus. However, HPV isn't necessarily with you for life, your body can get rid of it. (and frequently does) There is just no "cure", it's just up to whether or not your body manages to get rid of the virus.
I think i will let my 12-year-old daughter read Reefedjib's post and these last few and I think she'll probably NEVER even think about having sex!! :p
 
I think i will let my 12-year-old daughter read Reefedjib's post and these last few and I think she'll probably NEVER even think about having sex!! :p

Well over half of the sexually active people get one of the 100 strains of HPV in their lifetime. Most often, the virus is gone in 1 - 2 years. And, there's a vaccine now for the most common strains linked to cervical cancer. Highly recommended for girls your daughter's age.
 
Well over half of the sexually active people get one of the 100 strains of HPV in their lifetime. Most often, the virus is gone in 1 - 2 years. And, there's a vaccine now for the most common strains linked to cervical cancer. Highly recommended for girls your daughter's age.

You know,my wife and I are seriously considering the Guardacil Vaccine. I'm glad you brought it up. Do you know anyone who has gotten the vaccination for a daughter?
 
I voted other. When the child is ready. We all mature at different rates, why be restricted?

This was my initial response. Nothing about when to start talking or making laws restricting anything. My point was why restrict the age.

Uhm? how would you know when the child is ready if you dont start talks?
also im not trying to restrict anything or make a law lol just want to know peoples opinions

This is what you responded with. Had little to do with my comment and it was an attack at nothing I said or implied.

The others who have said damn near the same thing I did get an " Oh thank you" while I get "Uhm? how would you know when the child is ready if you dont start talks?" Which had nothing at all to do with my comment.

attack? lol you are so sensitive
point it out? thats easy. too easy

Yes it was very easy.

you said you answered other because they will ask when they are ready

No you assumed that. Nothing in my initial statement has anything as I have shown to do with it.

i asked how will you know whan a child is read
you said "Because my daughter asked me. The child will let you know when they are ready because they will ask."

Well you asked me LATER directly and I told you. You then attacked that as well.

if that is not implying that all kids will ask then you should have said it differently, since my question was about kids in general LOL

My initial statement and the first responce did not imply anything like that.

sure did but i didnt ask you how your kids turned out so you repeating my daughter is this or tthat or my daughter is fine etc has no barring on whether a child will ask their parents which is what i was disputing.

So what? It shows I did a relatively good job of raising my daughter. For you to then say I was naive made it part of the reply.

hard to eye roll with egg on your face isnt it :D

The only one with egg is you.
 
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You know,my wife and I are seriously considering the Guardacil Vaccine. I'm glad you brought it up. Do you know anyone who has gotten the vaccination for a daughter?

My niece is that age, I'm not sure if my sis got her the vaccination or not, but I will ask.
 
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This was my initial response. Nothing about when to start talking or making laws restricting anything. My point was why restrict the age.



This is what you responded with. Had little to do with my comment and it was an attack at nothing I said or implied.

The others who have said damn near the same thing I did get an " Oh thank you" while I get "Uhm? how would you know when the child is ready if you dont start talks?" Which had nothing at all to do with my comment.



Yes it was very easy.



No you assumed that. Nothing in my initial statement has anything as I have shown to do with it.



Well you asked me LATER directly and I told you. You then attacked that as well.



My initial statement and the first responce did not imply anything like that.



So what? It shows I did a relatively good job of raising my daughter. For you to then say I was naive made it part of the reply.



The only one with egg is you.

LMAO thats a nice piece of fantasy you just wrote mr sensitive but the fact remains to people that understand english, you in fact implied that all children will ask, even OTHER posters thgought the same. Iits all here in black and white and i qouted you LMAO

and just because you didnt mean to say that, its is not my fault you mis spoke.
Also since that is in fact what you implied (whether you meant to or not) you being succesful at rasiing your daughter is totally irralvant and has no bearing on whether kids will ask
so again wipe the egg off your face and move on or admit you mispoke like a man, no need to aruge against facts because it just puts more egg on your face.
 
LMAO thats a nice piece of fantasy you just wrote mr sensitive but the fact remains to people that understand english, you in fact implied that all children will ask, even OTHER posters thgought the same. Iits all here in black and white and i qouted you LMAO

and just because you didnt mean to say that, its is not my fault you mis spoke.
Also since that is in fact what you implied (whether you meant to or not) you being succesful at rasiing your daughter is totally irralvant and has no bearing on whether kids will ask
so again wipe the egg off your face and move on or admit you mispoke like a man, no need to aruge against facts because it just puts more egg on your face.

Hey it's cool. We know you for what you are.

Have a good night and God bless.

You need it.
 
Hey it's cool. We know you for what you are.

Have a good night and God bless.

You need it.

"we" LMAO
to bad the evidence is right here for all to see
tell your self what every you need to sleep easy
and i need nothing from you ;)
 
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