Let me state this: Though retired I know quite a few kids and their parents. Kids nowadays are labeled as lazy, entitled, spoiled, and snarky.
Not my experience. I could post dozens of studies that show that children that are spanked are actually more likely to grow up wanting to spank their kids than parents who use other methods to discipline.
Of all the parents I know, none use spanking, and their kids are doing fine. Mind you, that is just from a casual observation, not exactly a scientific study.
Still................... spanking is still perceived as a necessary form of discipline. And arguments for and against can become quite intense. Typically "Don't tell me how to discipline my child!"
So, straight up, is spanking effective? Or, as it is happening in some countries, should be outlawed? Even if not outlawed, should it still be used as a form of discipline in this day and age?
Your kid mouths off, or they won't do their homework, or they forgot to turn off the light in the garage, etc.
These aren't reasons to spank a child.
The only reasons I've ever had to raise my hand to administer corporal punishment were maybe two (three?) in the entire time I was bringing up baby.
1. My son was throwing rocks at the neighbor's house, and on a dozen occasions we told him to stop.
We sat him down, explained why it was wrong, explained why it makes him look like a bad person, explained that the neighbors have never said or done anything to deserve their house being pelted. Etc etc etc.
2. Then not only did he insist on throwing more rocks, when the "Mrs" of the house asked him to stop, he mouthed off at her pretty harshly and returned to throw more rocks and this time he broke a window. He was seven at the time, so he was at the age of reason.
We finally had to warm his hide a little bit, nothing drastic, it was less physical pain and more an attention call than anything else, but sure, he wailed.
Then we dried his tears and reassured him we still loved him but he now knew he had crossed a line.
3. Same boy, but on an earlier occasion, age four, he began running into the street without even looking.
We told him he was not allowed to just run across the street. Not only was he not looking, he wasn't even asking and he actually encountered a car that had to screech to a halt.
So, after repeated warnings I had to warm his butt a little, same aftermath, reassurance and explaning that he had done something downright hazardous to his health, scared the crap out of his mother, etc.
That's it, that's the two times I had to resort to such a thing, and thankfully we never had to resort to spanking our daughter.
She tried our patience on a few occasions but never actually endangered herself or others, just teen girl angsty stuff and Karen knew how to deal with that, and I actually managed to help a little bit even if it was just to make everyone laugh and defuse the situation.
Spanking is most definitely a less is more thing, and you might be lucky and never have to do it, and I want that for every parent and every kid.
But we hoomin beans aren't perfect, and when you have just scooped your kid out of the street after a car almost flattened them, sometimes emotions get the better of you.
That was me...
"Oh shit, the lil booger ran out into the street again, holy crap (SCREEEEEECH!!!!) come here, you."
(WHACK WHACK WHACK) "I said don't run out into the street and I meant it, you're gonna get run over by a car and it's gonna hurt a hundred times more than me busting your butt!"
I got spanked a lot when I was little. I was a hellion sometimes, but I sometimes got spanked for minor transgressions and I never wanted to continue that nonsense.
I actually thought I would manage to avoid ever spanking either kid. Oh well.
Neither of them held it against me, my kids were angels and they've told me they loved me many times, and I wasn't even their biological daddy.
But they're MY kids alright, bio-daddy is out of the picture entirely and has been for a very long time.
