Burning Giraffe
Active member
- Joined
- May 9, 2009
- Messages
- 357
- Reaction score
- 121
- Location
- Burgaw, NC
- Gender
- Male
- Political Leaning
- Libertarian
Mutual benefit is what every relationship is based on, its practically the definition of the word "relationship" when it comes to people. Two individuals are seeking something, whether love, sex, money, status, family, company, etc etc etc and they ideally met each other and can give each other the things the other desires. That includes "being there" "caring" etc etc that everyone else will want to add.
As for monogamy, I expect a girl to be monogamous if in a relationship with me and I will do the same. And if she feels that the relationship must end for whatever reason I expect her, as I would do, to tell me rather than cheating or trying to play two games at once.
Before I fell in love, I had a whole list of expectations, but in the end, I think the only thing that matters is that they make you happy.
What makes you happy?
Mutual benefit.
I'm interested in what expectations people have of the opposite sex and what standards they have for themselves for monogamous relationships. I have noticed that most relationships are mutually beneficial arrangements, until they aren't and end. This leads me to believe that there is very little else going on in most relationships beside mutual benefit. While I love mutual benefit and think, as an idea, it has single-handedly made the world a better place to live in, it is not enough to base a relationship on.
What would be enough to base a relationship on and why would it be enough? I am curious. I am not sure what the central message of your thread is.I'm interested in what expectations people have of the opposite sex and what standards they have for themselves for monogamous relationships. I have noticed that most relationships are mutually beneficial arrangements, until they aren't and end. This leads me to believe that there is very little else going on in most relationships beside mutual benefit. While I love mutual benefit and think, as an idea, it has single-handedly made the world a better place to live in, it is not enough to base a relationship on.
I think mutual benefit is the ONLY thing to base a relationship on. What else is there? If I'm in a relationship, it's because it's beneficial to me. When it ceases being beneficial to me, the relationship ends.
My only expectation, really, is honesty.
Mutual values, mutual passions... I suppose sharing these things are to our mutual benefit. I suppose, in the end, mutual benefit is the umbrella over all the other shared positives of a relationship. I suppose what I am trying to understand is how love functions seperately from selfishness. Mutual-Benefit is recognized rationally, logically... something people can pursue selfishly without using or harming others. Trust, Honesty, Loyalty, Compassion, Kindness... these are all mutually-benefial virtues associated with strong, loving relationships. I'm trying to imagine something else... how do relationships continue after trust, honesty, loyalty, compassion, kindness have been destroyed? Can a relationship survive when it is no longer mutually-beneficial? If so, on the basis of what?
Mutual values, mutual passions... I suppose sharing these things are to our mutual benefit. I suppose, in the end, mutual benefit is the umbrella over all the other shared positives of a relationship. I suppose what I am trying to understand is how love functions seperately from selfishness. Mutual-Benefit is recognized rationally, logically... something people can pursue selfishly without using or harming others. Trust, Honesty, Loyalty, Compassion, Kindness... these are all mutually-benefial virtues associated with strong, loving relationships. I'm trying to imagine something else... how do relationships continue after trust, honesty, loyalty, compassion, kindness have been destroyed? Can a relationship survive when it is no longer mutually-beneficial? If so, on the basis of what?
People only do things because they get something out of it. If people remain together, there's a reason. A reason that benefits them in some way.
Such as the feeling of having someone in the world who cares for you?
Well, HE looks happy.
I suppose her attitude might improve after he's dead and she's got the money... :doh
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