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Malawi to Outlaw Farting

Middleground

Middleground

Gridiron Beaver!
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Damn, Danarhea... do not go there as you'd surly get the death sentence. The irony of it all is that I bet you'd be gassed. :lol:

Malawian lawmakers will next week debate a law change to criminalise public farting, which a cabinet minister said had been encouraged by democracy.

"The government has a right to ensure public decency. We are entitled to introduce order in the country," justice and constitutional affairs minister George Chaponda told independent radio station Capital Radio, "Would you like to see people farting in public anywhere?"

Since the country embraced multi-party politics 16 years ago people had felt free to fart anywhere, said Chaponda. "It was not there during the time of dictatorship because people were afraid of the consequences. Now because of multipartism or freedom, people would like to fart anywhere, he said.

Chaponda, a key figure in President Bingu wa Mutharika's government, said that if Malawians cannot control their farting "they should go to the toilet instead of farting in public."

"Nature can be controlled... it becomes a nuisance if people fart anywhere." (snip)
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Malawi to outlaw farting - on 352luxmag.lu
 
This makes me want to load up on bad bad bad food and then take a trip over there to practice my silent-but-deadly technique.

I mean, it's either that or I have to figure out how to package it and mail it over there.

Talk about a pain in the ass...
 
I don't know why people are upset about this. Methane is a far more harmful emission than CO2, and you can still fart in your own house. The next step is to outlaw farting when you have children in the car.
 
WI Crippler said:
I don't know why people are upset about this. Methane is a far more harmful emission than CO2, and you can still fart in your own house. The next step is to outlaw farting when you have children in the car.
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Nothing is more harmful than second-hand gas, Crip.
 
WI Crippler said:
I don't know why people are upset about this. Methane is a far more harmful emission than CO2, and you can still fart in your own house. The next step is to outlaw farting when you have children in the car.
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Better yet will be when manufacturers of lighters and matches are forced by the government to fund an anti-fart-lighting campaign to reduce the number of children injured every year.

"It's not bright to light!"
 
Gay guys are gonna be harder to bust
 
My question would be, given the bolded part of this quote from the story...:
"The government has a right to ensure public decency. We are entitled to introduce order in the country," justice and constitutional affairs minister George Chaponda told independent radio station Capital Radio, "Would you like to see people farting in public anywhere?"
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...What in the HELL are they eating in Malawi?
 
charcoal butt plugs will be hot sellers if the sentences are harsh!
 
can a muffler and filtration system be incorporated into a pair of panties?
 
If they pass that law, I'm going to start selling these neat little devices there.

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Nobody in Malawi has been arrested nor convicted for farting under the old law, as police did not enforce it.
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So they've always been weird, then?

Stinks like police corruption to me - not enforcing laws and regulations that are meant to punish someone for voluntarily vitiating the atmosphere.
 
I just ate some excellent chili that was loaded with beans.

I could be lookin' at hard time.
 
Let's say there are several people in the same vicinity, and someone farts, but no one takes responsibility. I sense the "whoever smelt it dealt it" defense, if someone is falsely accused.
 
Lets airplaine some beano in so all the people can live poot free:)
 
spud_meister said:
If I cook chilli, does that make me an accessory to the crime?
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I doubt it, until a couple of years ago my government denied the link between HIV and AIDS as official medical policy of South Africa...

So perhaps they have yet to discover the causation between Chilli, and bowel movements...

Then again, I can't imagine there's any taco bells there...
 
CaptainCourtesy said:
Let's say there are several people in the same vicinity, and someone farts, but no one takes responsibility. I sense the "whoever smelt it dealt it" defense, if someone is falsely accused.
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Check the underpants... You'll at least catch the wet farters...
 
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