• This is a political forum that is non-biased/non-partisan and treats every person's position on topics equally. This debate forum is not aligned to any political party. In today's politics, many ideas are split between and even within all the political parties. Often we find ourselves agreeing on one platform but some topics break our mold. We are here to discuss them in a civil political debate. If this is your first visit to our political forums, be sure to check out the RULES. Registering for debate politics is necessary before posting. Register today to participate - it's free!

Ladies: Is this good idea?

WI Crippler said:
I think some things need some clarification here.

1. I love my wife as she is, and I have no problems with where she is with her body. I have told her this many, many times(to no effect apparently). Does she have room to lose some weight? Sure, but so do I. So does 99% of people in this country. The issue here is her image with herself, not how I view her.

2. The journal isn't some snide attempt to belittle her. Its to show her concrete proof of why she cannot achieve the goals she wants. I wanted to juxtapose it with whatever workout/diet plan she is on and show her how little she actually follows it, and thus fails.

3. Just the other day, I did in fact ask her to go for a walk around our apartment complex, which is large and very hilly. Her response was "Well I guess if you are going to make me". So I told her to just forget it.
Click to expand...


Do the walk she might turn out to like it
 
Get a dog. They need to be walked an hour a day. ;)
 
WI Crippler said:
I think some things need some clarification here.

1. I love my wife as she is, and I have no problems with where she is with her body. I have told her this many, many times(to no effect apparently). Does she have room to lose some weight? Sure, but so do I. So does 99% of people in this country. The issue here is her image with herself, not how I view her.

2. The journal isn't some snide attempt to belittle her. Its to show her concrete proof of why she cannot achieve the goals she wants. I wanted to juxtapose it with whatever workout/diet plan she is on and show her how little she actually follows it, and thus fails.

3. Just the other day, I did in fact ask her to go for a walk around our apartment complex, which is large and very hilly. Her response was "Well I guess if you are going to make me". So I told her to just forget it.
Click to expand...

I didn't get the sense that anyone who posted in here thought you had negative feelings towards your wife. If you think she genuinely doesn't get it as to why she isn't losing weight/firming up, then try out the journal. My concern is that she would see the journal as your picking on her. Clearly your words about what you think of her body haven't changed her mind. I think the journal would only reinforce her insecurities with what you think. JMO
 
WI Crippler said:
2. The journal isn't some snide attempt to belittle her. Its to show her concrete proof of why she cannot achieve the goals she wants. I wanted to juxtapose it with whatever workout/diet plan she is on and show her how little she actually follows it, and thus fails.
Click to expand...


That's how she is going to take it because that's what it is. It is detailing her failures and showing it to her would be like mocking her attempts and failures. If my husband did something like that to me, no matter his intentions, I would take that book and knock him upside the head with it.

I like rivvrat's suggestions, those are the best. In the end though, she has to want it and be motivated or it just ain't gonna happen.

Also if she is not motivated by walking around a hilly place at first, suggest a nice easier setting- like if you live near a park or a lake and can walk around and then go to a playground with your son and just chase after him for awhile. It will drain his endless energy and be a good workout for her. Win/win for you both :mrgreen:
 
WI Crippler said:
I think some things need some clarification here.

1. I love my wife as she is, and I have no problems with where she is with her body. I have told her this many, many times(to no effect apparently). Does she have room to lose some weight? Sure, but so do I. So does 99% of people in this country. The issue here is her image with herself, not how I view her.
Click to expand...

I don't doubt that you love your wife, Crip. I just think sometimes you don't know what to do with her. :2razz:

2. The journal isn't some snide attempt to belittle her. Its to show her concrete proof of why she cannot achieve the goals she wants. I wanted to juxtapose it with whatever workout/diet plan she is on and show her how little she actually follows it, and thus fails.
Click to expand...


What about a journal that shows her the things she does achieve? Not necessarily an exercise program, but things like how much you enjoyed the meal she cooked. The little things she does to make you feel special. The way she reads a book to your child..... Mother's Day is coming up. IMO, that would be a helluva gift.
3. Just the other day, I did in fact ask her to go for a walk around our apartment complex, which is large and very hilly. Her response was "Well I guess if you are going to make me". So I told her to just forget it.
Click to expand...


How about:
  • Hey baby, I just want to support you and spend some time with you.
  • The only thing I'm gonna do is make you love me (sing it like the Supremes)
  • Good deal, it'll be fun!

I don't know :shrug: Every marriage is different. As for us, we rely on humor.

Early in our marriage we had an argument and I went to pick up the phone. He said to me, "I forbid you to use that phone." I looked at him and the look on his face was--"Oh My God. Did that just come out of my mouth?" I started laughing and he started laughing and we ended up on the floor in tears. We still joke about it and use the "forbid" word to lighten up tense situations years later.
 
LOL

I just got off the computer and went in the kitchen. This was my conversation with my darling dear.


Ah crap. I was dawdling on the computer.

Really, what are you going to do about that?

I guess I'm going to whine.

Well, as long as you have a plan.

:mrgreen:
 
Very, very bad idea. Don't do it. Just don't.

Your wife does not want to see proof of her unhealthy habits and she certainly isn't hoping that you'll find a way to fix her shortcomings.

Women don't want men to fix these sort of things, we just want you to be there and listen to our bitching about how our life is unfair cuz we don't look like a fashion model and make no serious attempts at looking like one either.

Anything other than "You always look great to me" and "I'll be there to support you no matter what you decide to do" will be EPIC FAIL.
 
Well I am tired of listening to the constant whining, with no effort being put forth. I guess this is where I simply have to forget about even trying to help her(since she doesn't want any help), and just sit there and pretend like I am listening, while watching TV.
 
WI Crippler said:
Well I am tired of listening to the constant whining, with no effort being put forth. I guess this is where I simply have to forget about even trying to help her(since she doesn't want any help), and just sit there and pretend like I am listening, while watching TV.
Click to expand...

Take the walk "make " her go with you.
 
independent_thinker2002 said:
Get a dog. They need to be walked an hour a day. ;)
Click to expand...

Probably the best idea I've seen so far. More specifically get her a dog. She'll love the thing like a kid and take great care of it especially when she realizes that it needs daily exercise.

Unless she's a cat person.
 
RightOfCenter said:
Probably the best idea I've seen so far. More specifically get her a dog. She'll love the thing like a kid and take great care of it especially when she realizes that it needs daily exercise.

Unless she's a cat person.
Click to expand...


I don't know, I've seen people get a dog, thinking they will walk with it and walk themselves, only to just open the back door to give the dog their exercise.
 
WI Crippler said:
Well I am tired of listening to the constant whining, with no effort being put forth. I guess this is where I simply have to forget about even trying to help her(since she doesn't want any help), and just sit there and pretend like I am listening, while watching TV.
Click to expand...

Tell her to just "shut up and keep shoving down those ho-hos" that's always a good idea. ;)
 
WI Crippler said:
Well I am tired of listening to the constant whining, with no effort being put forth. I guess this is where I simply have to forget about even trying to help her(since she doesn't want any help), and just sit there and pretend like I am listening, while watching TV.
Click to expand...

Frankly, I sympathize for you. That would drive me nuts--listening to someone complain about the same thing over and over again and NOT doing anything about it. Maybe she needs a little kick in the pants?
 
WI Crippler said:
I think some things need some clarification here.

1. I love my wife as she is, and I have no problems with where she is with her body. I have told her this many, many times(to no effect apparently). Does she have room to lose some weight? Sure, but so do I. So does 99% of people in this country. The issue here is her image with herself, not how I view her.

2. The journal isn't some snide attempt to belittle her. Its to show her concrete proof of why she cannot achieve the goals she wants. I wanted to juxtapose it with whatever workout/diet plan she is on and show her how little she actually follows it, and thus fails.

3. Just the other day, I did in fact ask her to go for a walk around our apartment complex, which is large and very hilly. Her response was "Well I guess if you are going to make me". So I told her to just forget it.
Click to expand...

I'm a chick but a rather direct chick. ;) If your wife is bitchin' to you about her being fat and you have to listen to it, I'm sorry, but you have every right to tell her what she is doing wrong or just she should shut up about it if she's not going to do anything about it. I have run for years and have a good diet to keep fit, I'm not a sit around and munch type of person though, so I'm different from most I guess.

It sounds like she is bitchin' about it anyway, so what's the difference if she's going to bitch about you trying to point her in the right direction? I do feel for you though, that sucks.:(
 
aps said:
Frankly, I sympathize for you. That would drive me nuts--listening to someone complain about the same thing over and over again and NOT doing anything about it. Maybe she needs a little kick in the pants?
Click to expand...

I could motivate her Marine Corps style, but then I'd only get to see my son every other weekend. :2razz:
 
WI Crippler said:
Well I am tired of listening to the constant whining, with no effort being put forth. I guess this is where I simply have to forget about even trying to help her(since she doesn't want any help), and just sit there and pretend like I am listening, while watching TV.
Click to expand...

IMO, I think you should just tell her that. Seriously. Similar to what I said earlier. Tell her there's only two things she can do to fix her body. And that you would be happy to help her with either or both of them. (eating better and getting exercise) Tell her that unless she's willing to do something to change herself, then she should stop complaining about the fact that she remains unchanged.

If she persists or doesn't understand that, then try and put it in perspective. Tell her to imagine she has a friend who hates her grey hair. She complains all the time about her grey hair. Every day it's always how awful her grey hair is. But, any suggestions for her to DYE her grey hair get shrugged off and ignored. And yet, the friend continues to complain, and complain, and complain. Ask her what she'd do in such a situation and explain that you are in a similar situation.
 
americanwoman said:
I don't know, I've seen people get a dog, thinking they will walk with it and walk themselves, only to just open the back door to give the dog their exercise.
Click to expand...

I think if she is a dog person then Crippler could really guilt her on that without getting in trouble. You know? This way she owes it to the dog.

"Honey, you should really go take the dog for a walk. It's important that he gets exercise every day."
 
WI Crippler said:
Well I am tired of listening to the constant whining, with no effort being put forth. I guess this is where I simply have to forget about even trying to help her(since she doesn't want any help), and just sit there and pretend like I am listening, while watching TV.
Click to expand...

Here's an idea:

Have you tried hitting her?
 
Southern Man said:
Don't take this the wrong way, but apparently you don't know her that well. Maybe you should start by correcting that.
Click to expand...

The day a man actually understands what his woman wants and 'knows' her will be the day the grass turns blue and the sky is green. :lol:
 
dude, women are a total mystery to men
I don't care how long you live with them
ever hear of "its a womans Prerogative" ?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom