- Joined
- Jul 23, 2022
- Messages
- 165
- Reaction score
- 96
- Gender
- Male
- Political Leaning
- Slightly Conservative
Lately I’ve felt very deep depression, sadness. Where all I want to do is sleep. Even after battling stomach cancer going through all that, I feel like dying would have been easier. Even when sick I had a good job and people always took advantage of the nice guy I could never say no. I gave and gave to people and those same people when I needed something now aren’t there. I supported a woman who I loved, I gave her my whole bank account paying her bills, so she could go through school and study, who couldn’t even visit me in the hospital but I let it go, I’m not one to confront people.
I don’t find joys in everyday life, I’ll have good days where I’m exicted for football and then down right days I wish I could just sleep and never wake up. It’s sad how shitty people are towards you when you’re nothing but nice to them. I want to end my life but what keeps me going is knowing I would upset my family even as complicated as relationship I had with them I wouldn’t want to know their suffering but some days it feels so easy. I’m tired of being walked over and used by people I gave everything to and they have no heart or respect or even warmth towards you as if they expect it. Some days it’s hard when you hold it all inside and pretend to carry a smile but inside you feel emptiness
I don’t find joys in everyday life, I’ll have good days where I’m exicted for football and then down right days I wish I could just sleep and never wake up. It’s sad how shitty people are towards you when you’re nothing but nice to them. I want to end my life but what keeps me going is knowing I would upset my family even as complicated as relationship I had with them I wouldn’t want to know their suffering but some days it feels so easy. I’m tired of being walked over and used by people I gave everything to and they have no heart or respect or even warmth towards you as if they expect it. Some days it’s hard when you hold it all inside and pretend to carry a smile but inside you feel emptiness