- Joined
- Mar 21, 2016
- Messages
- 12,130
- Reaction score
- 7,253
- Location
- Charleston, SC
- Gender
- Male
- Political Leaning
- Libertarian - Left
Studies have shown a correlation between High IQ, liberalism, Atheism, and Sexual Exclusivity in Men. I definitely have a very high IQ, I am an atheist, a liberal, and I definitely prefer sexual exclusivity. Not that I don't do one night stands ever, but it's fairly rare. The thing is, I'm 33 and I'm still single. In fact I really haven't had any serious relationships at all(more than about 3 months).
Now I'm really not trying to make this thread about me the individual, but rather about guys like me in general. I also don't want to sound like I'm bragging here at all, but I'm not sure how else to illustrate my point here without stating some facts. If you'd like to ignore my personal story feel free to skip down past the spoiler.
I feel like guys like me take a unique approach to dating. It's not designed to attract a lot of women, it's designed to attract one really good one. Normally people assume that women do the judging, and it's the mans job to jump through hoops to try and convince her that he's worth it. I think this happens because women are generally the more sexually exclusive sex and men are generally viewed as wanting to **** anything moves. But for highly intelligent guys who are more sexually exclusive I feel like we do a lot of judging on our own, but most women aren't expecting it and aren't ready for it. I for one actually kind of like a woman who has the confidence to approach me. It's not that I'm afraid to make the first move or anything I have in the past with decent success, it's that I want to react to her, not her to me. It helps me determine what kind person she is, how much confidence she has, and what her level of interest is.
Of course that rarely happens but needless to say my approach to dating is a little more passive. Where most guys try and put their best foot forward right away only to disappoint down the road I try and just be myself at the outset under the assumption that this is the guy I'm going to be long term so you better like me not some fake version of me. It's based on the idea that if the right girl really wants a guy like me she'll find me and I shouldn't have to bend over backwards to get her attention. If she doesn't like the fact that I'm holding a beer in my profile picture for example, that's her problem not mine. To me rejecting a guy based on that criteria says more about the low quality of the woman than it does about the man. I don't want to be with a woman who's excessively picky about minor little details any more than a woman would want to be with a man who's going to judge her for having a couple extra pounds in her bikini picture.
This strategy has yet to work out quite well given that I'm 33 and regularly single, but I feel like as more single women start to approach their 30's and the numbers game starts favoring men like myself more it might have better success. I wonder are there other guys with similar approaches? I feel like most women just assume that a guy is only going to get worse the more you get to know them, and so if the first impression isn't spectacular they run for the hills.
Now I'm really not trying to make this thread about me the individual, but rather about guys like me in general. I also don't want to sound like I'm bragging here at all, but I'm not sure how else to illustrate my point here without stating some facts. If you'd like to ignore my personal story feel free to skip down past the spoiler.
I'm 6'2", 220. I was a three sport athlete in High School and played a little College Baseball. I have a B.S. and a very good job. I have a nice apartment to myself in the nicest part of town about 15 minutes from the beach. I have a Dog, a nice car, I cook, I consider myself a feminist, I have a lot of interesting friends that can testify to the fact that I'm anything, but boring and I have an excellent sense of humor, and I'm not looking for a simple hookup. I'm at an age were I'm about ready to settle down more and have kids.
Now again, I'm really really not trying to brag. I hate shameless self promotion, but I feel like based on this information alone there are a lot of single women in their late twenties early thirties who would love to find a guy like me. Don't get me wrong I have my faults as well. I'm not exactly Ryan Gosling or anything. My biggest deficiency is that I probably should have gotten braces when I was a kid.
Yet it seems like all I ever hear from women is horror stories about guys they met on Tinder and other dating sites. They act like every guy on there is some kind of creep looking for a hookup. My personal experience however is that of the hundreds of women I've swiped right on in the last few months only 6 have matched, and zero have replied when I messaged them. Now, I'm sure most people reading this will immediately jump to the conclusion that it's some how all my fault. Maybe I have bad profile pics, maybe my messages are less than amazing, maybe I have too high of standards. There's probably a degree of truth to that, but in my opinion it doesn't seem like I should have to change all that much, and this is the point I'm really getting at.
Now again, I'm really really not trying to brag. I hate shameless self promotion, but I feel like based on this information alone there are a lot of single women in their late twenties early thirties who would love to find a guy like me. Don't get me wrong I have my faults as well. I'm not exactly Ryan Gosling or anything. My biggest deficiency is that I probably should have gotten braces when I was a kid.
Yet it seems like all I ever hear from women is horror stories about guys they met on Tinder and other dating sites. They act like every guy on there is some kind of creep looking for a hookup. My personal experience however is that of the hundreds of women I've swiped right on in the last few months only 6 have matched, and zero have replied when I messaged them. Now, I'm sure most people reading this will immediately jump to the conclusion that it's some how all my fault. Maybe I have bad profile pics, maybe my messages are less than amazing, maybe I have too high of standards. There's probably a degree of truth to that, but in my opinion it doesn't seem like I should have to change all that much, and this is the point I'm really getting at.
I feel like guys like me take a unique approach to dating. It's not designed to attract a lot of women, it's designed to attract one really good one. Normally people assume that women do the judging, and it's the mans job to jump through hoops to try and convince her that he's worth it. I think this happens because women are generally the more sexually exclusive sex and men are generally viewed as wanting to **** anything moves. But for highly intelligent guys who are more sexually exclusive I feel like we do a lot of judging on our own, but most women aren't expecting it and aren't ready for it. I for one actually kind of like a woman who has the confidence to approach me. It's not that I'm afraid to make the first move or anything I have in the past with decent success, it's that I want to react to her, not her to me. It helps me determine what kind person she is, how much confidence she has, and what her level of interest is.
Of course that rarely happens but needless to say my approach to dating is a little more passive. Where most guys try and put their best foot forward right away only to disappoint down the road I try and just be myself at the outset under the assumption that this is the guy I'm going to be long term so you better like me not some fake version of me. It's based on the idea that if the right girl really wants a guy like me she'll find me and I shouldn't have to bend over backwards to get her attention. If she doesn't like the fact that I'm holding a beer in my profile picture for example, that's her problem not mine. To me rejecting a guy based on that criteria says more about the low quality of the woman than it does about the man. I don't want to be with a woman who's excessively picky about minor little details any more than a woman would want to be with a man who's going to judge her for having a couple extra pounds in her bikini picture.
This strategy has yet to work out quite well given that I'm 33 and regularly single, but I feel like as more single women start to approach their 30's and the numbers game starts favoring men like myself more it might have better success. I wonder are there other guys with similar approaches? I feel like most women just assume that a guy is only going to get worse the more you get to know them, and so if the first impression isn't spectacular they run for the hills.