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First Date

Helvidius

Helvidius

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 18, 2010
Messages
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Location
Good ol' US of A
Gender
Male
Political Leaning
Libertarian
What is your ideal first date? Also, if you could include first date ideas for a law student on a budget that would be terrific. I don't have any upcoming first dates, but it never hurts to be prepared!
 
You know, I'm not a fan of dates. It strikes me as a whole lot of posturing. I'm perfectly happy to go out and get coffee somewhere. That's really what I like.

But I imagine each individual will be different. Maybe you should ask, when you find someone you'd like to get to know better.
 
MistressNomad said:
You know, I'm not a fan of dates. It strikes me as a whole lot of posturing. I'm perfectly happy to go out and get coffee somewhere. That's really what I like.

But I imagine each individual will be different. Maybe you should ask, when you find someone you'd like to get to know better.
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I always enjoy coffee dates. Not sure that every girl would want a coffee date as the first one. The only thing I really don't like doing on a first date is going to the movies.
 
Take her horseback riding.
 
Helvidius said:
I always enjoy coffee dates. Not sure that every girl would want a coffee date as the first one. The only thing I really don't like doing on a first date is going to the movies.
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Couldn't agree more. Why do people do that for first dates? I thought the point was to get to know each other. So we're going to sit in this really loud, dark room, and stare at a screen for 2 hours? Or maybe randomly make out? Right. :lol:
 
whopper, small coke, small fries.

watching the sunset. sex on the beach.


thats my perfect date. :)
 
I am personally a big fan of dinner out at a nice restaurant. Somewhere that is a little dressy and higher class. Not necessarily the 5 Star, $250 check at the end of the night place, but better than Applebee's or Chili's. This gives both people the opportunity to show themselves off at their best and to make a great first impression.
 
Helvidius said:
I always enjoy coffee dates.
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Too casual for my tates, personally. If it works for you great, but that sort of thing doesn't really create the romantic/relationship atmosphere that I'm looking for.
 
Tigger said:
I am personally a big fan of dinner out at a nice restaurant. Somewhere that is a little dressy and higher class. Not necessarily the 5 Star, $250 check at the end of the night place, but better than Applebee's or Chili's. This gives both people the opportunity to show themselves off at their best and to make a great first impression.
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Yeah, I like the semi-classy restaurants too. I'm only 22 so that was generally the highest I went in terms of dates in high school/college. I just find that people can be most casual on a coffee date and you really get to know someone that way. I feel like going out to a restaurant implies it is more of an interview.
 
honestly, Im a big fan of the walk in the park then get a light drink..kinda first date.

keep it simple on the 1st date.

though..every once in a while....we have a great time and she wants to hang out more and we end up making out for a while.

this happens once a year for me..as it did last week. :)
 
I try to never go an A Date. Instead, I prefer a series of mini-dates. I meet a girl, we talk. That's mini-date #1.

If she seems like potential GF material, Iask her if she wants to get a bite to eat, or coffee, or something like that. 60% of the time, I get her to offer to pay. That's mini-date #2, during which I tell her that she shouldn't expect anything from me just because she bought me a meal (or coffee, etc). At least, not with such a cheap meal.

Then, if things are still going well, we go for a walk to digest the food or burn off the caffeine etc. Mini-date #3 At the end of that, I get her #

A few days later, I call her and invite her to go on an fun "errand" with me, like shopping, or taking my dog to the park, etc. Mini-date #4
 
Helvidius said:
What is your ideal first date? Also, if you could include first date ideas for a law student on a budget that would be terrific. I don't have any upcoming first dates, but it never hurts to be prepared!
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Jeez, I was just thinking about this. I haven't been out on a date or anything in over 11 years.
 
sangha said:
I try to never go an A Date. Instead, I prefer a series of mini-dates. I meet a girl, we talk. That's mini-date #1.

If she seems like potential GF material, Iask her if she wants to get a bite to eat, or coffee, or something like that. 60% of the time, I get her to offer to pay. That's mini-date #2, during which I tell her that she shouldn't expect anything from me just because she bought me a meal (or coffee, etc). At least, not with such a cheap meal.

Then, if things are still going well, we go for a walk to digest the food or burn off the caffeine etc. Mini-date #3 At the end of that, I get her #

A few days later, I call her and invite her to go on an fun "errand" with me, like shopping, or taking my dog to the park, etc. Mini-date #4
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It's amazing you have yet to bag a wonderful young woman.
 
Bodhisattva said:
It's amazing you have yet to bag a wonderful young woman.
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I don't "bag" women. Maybe it's that kind of attitude that explains your 11 year stretch. (Hint: women don't want men to buy their affections)
 
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I like seeing a movie... some scary movies are good for dates because you can cuddle and hold hands. I also like going to museums. I am a nerd... :)
 
Helvidius said:
Yeah, I like the semi-classy restaurants too. I'm only 22 so that was generally the highest I went in terms of dates in high school/college. I just find that people can be most casual on a coffee date and you really get to know someone that way. I feel like going out to a restaurant implies it is more of an interview.
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Isn't a first date an interview of sorts? You're trying to determine whether this woman is someone that you have a connection with, and who you might want to consider pursuing a relationship with. Likewise, she is doing the same to you. That's why somewhere you can put your best foot forward, show yourself off at your best and be a little more "on your game" is best, in my opinion. Of course for the serial daters out there that might not work as well.
 
Tigger said:
Isn't a first date an interview of sorts? You're trying to determine whether this woman is someone that you have a connection with, and who you might want to consider pursuing a relationship with. Likewise, she is doing the same to you. That's why somewhere you can put your best foot forward, show yourself off at your best and be a little more "on your game" is best, in my opinion. Of course for the serial daters out there that might not work as well.
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Not to me. I don't really want to waste time on the "best foot," because it's completely fake. People don't act that way when they know each other. Real kindness is not the sort of behavior you see on a formal date. It's little stuff, it's a general attitude of being a good person, it's small consistent actions that let you know they care. It's not nearly-scripted conversations, fancy overpriced meals, and dress-casual. That's not real.

I don't want to know how good of an actor they are. I want to know who they really are.

And apart from that, I guess I don't "interview" people I'm interested in. Usually it's a lot more organic than that. We just sort of notice we like each other as more than friends. Then a conversation happens, maybe a coffee date, whatever. It's not rigid and directed towards a "goal." It's just exploring how we feel.
 
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It depends really, for girls who I thought would like it I've used Thrashers games as dates, but well that's kind of out of the picture now.

Going to a lake with food, and sitting out under the stars is nice, dinner is good, a homemade dinner is better(as long as you can cook). Just something intimate, and fun.
 
Helvidius said:
What is your ideal first date? Also, if you could include first date ideas for a law student on a budget that would be terrific. I don't have any upcoming first dates, but it never hurts to be prepared!
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I didn't date until I met my husband - however many 'boyfriends' I had - and aside from a first marriage - I never dated.

My husband and I , though, did date - on my lunchbreak and after I got off of work he'd pick me up in his Blazer (which Top Gear has annointed as the #1 offroading vehicle in the US - hooah) and we'd have sex in the back in some empty parkinglot. . . lots of that.

Is that dating?

I think one time we went to eat at Sonic before we parked :) Maybe that one counts more.
 
I'll take her out to the pub, several drinks and a rohypnol later I take her back to my place and tie her up and gag her, never had a woman refuse me once.
 
spud_meister said:
I'll take her out to the pub, several drinks and a rohypnol later I take her back to my place and tie her up and gag her, never had a woman refuse me once.
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I shouldn't laugh - but that was funny. . . how pathetically sad that some people might actually have to do this to get some.
 
MistressNomad said:
Not to me. I don't really want to waste time on the "best foot," because it's completely fake. People don't act that way when they know each other. Real kindness is not the sort of behavior you see on a formal date. It's little stuff, it's a general attitude of being a good person, it's small consistent actions that let you know they care. It's not nearly-scripted conversations, fancy overpriced meals, and dress-casual. That's not real.
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I would tend to respectfully disagree. I can tell a lot about a person based on a formal date. Some of it could be determined from less formal dates, but some of it could not be. A lot of it is about learning how one acts in that contrived situation.


MistressNomad said:
I don't want to know how good of an actor they are. I want to know who they really are.
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All of life is an ACT, and we're all ACTORS. I won't quote Shakespeare, but each and every one of us "acts" on a daily basis as we go about our daily lives.

MistressNomad said:
And apart from that, I guess I don't "interview" people I'm interested in. Usually it's a lot more organic than that. We just sort of notice we like each other as more than friends. Then a conversation happens, maybe a coffee date, whatever. It's not rigid and directed towards a "goal." It's just exploring how we feel.
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For me it's not really organic at all. Then again for me, I'm not looking as much for an emotional connection early on as I am whether or not this is a person I could see myself in a long-term relationship with and potentially married to. It's much more about compatibility of philosophies and worldviews than anything else. At least in my mind.
 
Tigger said:
I would tend to respectfully disagree. I can tell a lot about a person based on a formal date. Some of it could be determined from less formal dates, but some of it could not be. A lot of it is about learning how one acts in that contrived situation.

All of life is an ACT, and we're all ACTORS. I won't quote Shakespeare, but each and every one of us "acts" on a daily basis as we go about our daily lives.
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Well, yes and no. People in their natural selves do act, but in a subliminal way. It means something about them as they really are and how they really feel. People "act" usually because they're uncomfortable, but they're not actively trying to deceive you or make you think they're someone else. In formal dates, they basically are. They want you to think they're basically a different person. I'd rather not spend my time parsing through that. If I wanted to play a game, I would. But I'm trying to get to know a human being.

For me it's not really organic at all. Then again for me, I'm not looking as much for an emotional connection early on as I am whether or not this is a person I could see myself in a long-term relationship with and potentially married to. It's much more about compatibility of philosophies and worldviews than anything else. At least in my mind.
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That's strange to me. But I guess if that's your thing. I don't worry so much about 10 years from now as I do about whether we just improve each other's time.
 
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