• This is a political forum that is non-biased/non-partisan and treats every person's position on topics equally. This debate forum is not aligned to any political party. In today's politics, many ideas are split between and even within all the political parties. Often we find ourselves agreeing on one platform but some topics break our mold. We are here to discuss them in a civil political debate. If this is your first visit to our political forums, be sure to check out the RULES. Registering for debate politics is necessary before posting. Register today to participate - it's free!

Divorce and the inevitable Male Crash-Burn

Maybe the man could show a bit more respect for himself and his former partner, and kill neither.
 
Meh. I've seen plenty of guys fight their wives 'till the very end.
 
justabubba said:
[emphasis added by bubba]

horse shit !!

what bureaucrats benefit from the actions they take in family court?
Click to expand...
The judges and the lawyers obtain a very lucrative source of employment. As do the myriad court appointed "experts" whose opinions are relied on.
justabubba said:
as to the harm they inflict, how can the justice system not dissatisfy one party in each family court dispute?*
had the family not failed, the need to address that family's issue in court would not be found necessary
Click to expand...
They could decide cases using objective standards, e.g. the old fault based system we had until the 20th century. They could refrain from encouraging parents to spend their energy discrediting each other from the time their marriage breaks down until their children are adults (which is usually the objective result of "best interests of the child" based family law).
justabubba said:
* from your post, it would not surprise me to learn that you are someone who lost their case in a family court issue
Click to expand...
I am not married yet, so no. I'm aware that this could happen to me in the future (should I marry the wrong woman), and in any case I'm more bothered by the government harming children than by the other harmful things it does.
 
There’s a reason I never had kids. You probably listed several of them.
 
Go back to school is my advice. Great environment, smart chicks.
 
calamity said:
Interesting that you would personalize this in such a manner.
Click to expand...
Interesting that you support the premise that the man is always wrong.
 
American said:
Interesting that you support the premise that the man is always wrong.
Click to expand...
Odd that you would interpret this thread that way. But, yet, I'm not surprised that you read it personally like that.
 
Last edited:
ecofarm said:
Go back to school is my advice. Great environment, smart chicks.
Click to expand...
I found mine by getting involved in a political campaign. After decades of living with women who thought opposite of me, I figured I'd find one who was like-minded. We've been together nearly twenty years now--not that it was all smooth sailing.
 
A couple of days ago, I talked to a friend who went through one of these crash & burn experiences. I still recall his announcement years ago that he planned to divorce his wife, leaving his two kids without a dad in the house. I tried to talk him out of it, suggesting that for the sake of those kids, it was worth it to weather the storm--lord knows I have plenty of experience in weathering storms. He was adamant though, ended the marriage and immediately spiraled into the inevitable crash-burn.

Same story as everyone else: he couldn't hold a job, lost one girlfriend after the other, got caught drinking and driving, bankruptcy...the list goes on. Saddest part of his tale, he told me his kids, now adults, look at him as the guy who left them.
 
When it comes to crash-burn situations, I have to admit, I've certainly relied on the anti-lock brakes to keep me out of one, more than a few times. Going back to the 90's, after the first divorce, I'd say only by the grace of the god I don't much believe in did I not end up joining the junkies in the graveyard. Without a doubt, I came about as close to the wrecking ball as a man can without being smashed in the nose.

I didn't exactly learn my lesson either. By the time I divorced again in the early two-thousands, I did it again. Obviously, for me, playing with fire was fun.

Both times, my saving grace was meeting good women. In the 90's, it was meeting a violinist. Granted, the female did not pull me out of the woods, but she did keep me from crossing the double yellow line. If I had not spent the summer with her, I would have ended up like my friend that year, a guy we buried after his crash-burn. In the Y2K's, it was the wife I have now who saved me from certain demise. Again, the hook-up wasn't a direct path out of the woods. But, it was a path, one that kept me out of the swamp.
 


Payback's a bitch.
 


Maybe they take no shit, but they get shit, reject it, and stay. Still, codependent.
 
bluesmoke said:
Maybe they take no shit, but they get shit, reject it, and stay. Still, codependent.
Click to expand...
It's hard to say what the personal dynamic may be. But, one thing I do know. A female earning six-figures has options that the stay-at-home housewife does not.
 
bluesmoke said:
Payback's a bitch.
Click to expand...
And, sometimes outcomes are a kick in the ass. I joke because my first ex-wife now lives in an exclusive suburb just outside of Nashville, in a multi-million dollar home. I live in Ohio...and probably be lucky to get $300K for my place, on a good day.

Clearly, I did her a favor by leaving.
 
Aunt Antifa said:
I would argue that the crash burning is what led to the other person wanting out. Their leaving is the final pin releasing from the grenade.
Click to expand...

I think you just nailed it.

All too often, men react to breakup with entitled rage. They engage in self-destructive or worse, others-destructive behavior.

Males need to learn how to take rejection with grace. We need to learn that when rejected, it's okay to be sad, it's okay to cry, but it's not okay to rage.
 
Cry over being rejected? Seriously?
 
Not all divorces are created equal. Some are essentially seamless. Looking around, I immediately identify one such scenario, a divorce where the dude did not go through the inevitable male crash-burn.

Of course, this is his third...so he has lots of experience.
 
calamity said:
It's hard to say what the personal dynamic may be. But, one thing I do know. A female earning six-figures has options that the stay-at-home housewife does not.
Click to expand...


Yes. Yet, still, the codependent ones, and the like, stay. Just as do those without such option.
 


I know the feeling. After 27 yrs of giving whatever, I finally figured out what she really wanted.
 
bluesmoke said:
I know the feeling. After 27 yrs of giving whatever, I finally figured out what she really wanted.
Click to expand...
All these years, I thought the divorce was my idea. But, when you learn she married up--way up--you gotta wonder if maybe she was a master in the power of suggestion via reverse psychology.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Menu
Log in
Register
Cookies are required to use this site. You must accept them to continue using the site. Learn more…