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Divorce and the inevitable Male Crash-Burn

After experiencing two “friends” end lives via murder-suicide in the very early 90’s, I made a comment. “I never had a male best friend. But, the asshole who takes my wife will be my best friend forever.”

Two years later, I’m happily helping some dude move in with my soon to be ex wife. Cal lives by his word.
Quite a delicate situation and it all depends on the people, these are always special cases.
My current wife, this is my ex-wife's best friend... ex-best friend.
 
Quite a delicate situation and it all depends on the people, these are always special cases.
My current wife, this is my ex-wife's best friend... ex-best friend.
The guy made my day by being dumb enough to take her. She also dumped him with two or three years to marry a millionaire. Fun times, those 90’s.
 
Because we are young, in love, expressive, we think that we know everything... a million explanations.
Women have different reasons. I was specifically asking why men do this? IMO many times it's not in their best interests and what's the point if you're not ready at that point to have kids?

However, it is not necessary to hang all the sins exclusively on men. Women also see who they marry. And a broken marriage isn't always just a man's fault.
I have already married for the third time... I was the initiator of the divorce in the previous two.
Yes, I'm not going to engage in self-deception and try to share the blame for broken marriages equally. I was a bad husband, I wasn't faithful to my wives. This is not a reason for pride or anger. This is a fact and in my mind, it was simply too early for me to get married.
But my friends saw what I was like. Egotistical, narcissistic, prone to female attention. But they married me, and I didn't force anyone to marry me.
So you know NOW you were too immature...well IMO men shouldnt complain if they dont protect themselves. No one is forcing them to marry (not really, not anymore).

(Women either but we're not discussing women here...for one thing, women do have a 'window' in which to have kids.)
 
Women have different reasons. I was specifically asking why men do this? IMO many times it's not in their best interests and what's the point if you're not ready at that point to have kids?
My first wife was a hot, sexy French beauty with flowing blonde hair running 3/4 of the way down her back, who cooked gourmet meals and ****ed my brains out for years. I'd marry her all over again, if today was 30 years ago.

I totally get why dumbo moved in with her and why the millionaire stole her away from him.
 
My first wife was a hot, sexy French beauty with flowing blonde hair running 3/4 of the way down her back, who cooked gourmet meals and ****ed my brains out for years. I'd marry her all over again, if today was 30 years ago.

I totally get why dumbo moved in with her and why the millionaire stole her away from him.
That's all fine and good. As I mentioned...then men shoudnt complain about their decisions.
 
The guy made my day by being dumb enough to take her. She also dumped him with two or three years to marry a millionaire. Fun times, those 90’s.
My first wife wound up together with an old friend, but it made perfect sense because their mental f***nuttery meshed together so perfectly.
She lasted four years with him and died of a coke overdose, and he just passed away three months ago.
The house should have been on Hoarding: Buried Alive, it was that scary.

Gerrard Herrera House 1.jpg
 
My first wife wound up together with an old friend, but it made perfect sense because their mental f***nuttery meshed together so perfectly.
She lasted four years with him and died of a coke overdose, and he just passed away three months ago.
The house should have been on Hoarding: Buried Alive, it was that scary.

View attachment 67338495
Tragic. Thankfully, I can report a better outcome for my first ex. She seems to have finally found her groove, as have I.

I wish her well.
 
That's all fine and good. As I mentioned...then men shoudnt complain about their decisions.
I'm certainly not complaining. After all, I dodged the crash-burns...even if, perhaps, it was just barely.
 
After experiencing two “friends” end lives via murder-suicide in the very early 90’s, I made a comment. “I never had a male best friend. But, the asshole who takes my wife will be my best friend forever.”

Two years later, I’m happily helping some dude move in with my soon to be ex wife. Cal lives by his word.


My wife ran off with my best friend, and I miss him so.
 
The crash-burn seems to have many drivers. Some simply rebel against high payments, doing everything in their power to lower alimony and child support deductions from paychecks. Others simply lose the motivation to remain on the straight and narrow. A third group, simply put, never were on the straight and narrow, thus they use the new found freedom to go hog-ass wild. OTOH, some seem to do well, sensing the need for self-preservation perhaps.
 
Funny thing about life with a bride, they make sure you don’t have money to spend on dangerous things. Mine just convinced me to drop $2500 to pull out all the bushes around the house, buy a new water softener for another Grand and contract for a new roof that is likely to cost tree times more than the other two.

Oh, she wants this done by yesterday.
 
And maybe that summarizes the whole reason women were oppressed for so long -- they made less money than men.
I think you're a tad confused as to what money is, in theory or practice - not much more than a means of expediting negotiation. I also don't see how "less" would be relevant here, unless you're just conflating "less" with oppression itself - people would need so much of this or that in order to get by or meet certain goals, but I don't see how that would take into account anything "relational" in regards to earnings. If a person can't afford to put food on the table, then in a situation like that, "less or more" is pretty much irrelevent.

Likewise, that generalization and conflation has no bearing on women such as Marie Curie or Victoria Regina, who were quite prominent and influential even during an era such as the 19th century - moreso than an "average" or "below average" woman today does.
 
Seems like it's taken many decades for men to realize that marriage isnt such a great idea...or have they even done so?...is it really just to make sure they get steady sex? Cuz we've known for a long time that once married, that tends to diminish.
I'm not sure what you're talking about.

"Marriage" is just a legal formality - even if the legal formality disappeared, people would still get together as couples for sex and companionship as they have for all of human history (much as how cultures with no written language have no "formal" marriage to begin with.

People who are couples are obviously able to have sex more frequently than people who are single and just "hook up", whether or not the relationship is formally recognized as a marriage or not.

Why are men who arent ready suckered into marriage so easily? ESPECIALLY if they arent ready for kids? (Societal and family expectations for $400 Alex! [RIP])

Is marriage such a great idea for men? Doesnt really seem like it unless they want kids...thing is...we've known this for about a hundred years. Or at least 50. Sooooooo....why blame women? (for anyone that is).
All you're talking about is the formality and legalese - not the social institutions of people entering romantic relationships or deciding to have children.

As far as men who kill themselves over marriage because they couldn't handle a little woman, I have a hard time making myself care and I think the gene pool is probably better off that way anyway.
 
Funny thing about life with a bride, they make sure you don’t have money to spend on dangerous things. Mine just convinced me to drop $2500 to pull out all the bushes around the house, buy a new water softener for another Grand and contract for a new roof that is likely to cost tree times more than the other two.

Oh, she wants this done by yesterday.
So, now she wants gravel laid down where all the bushes used to be on three sides of the house and a new deck in back. That's gonna cost at least $5K; probably 2 more once she discovers she needs something green to go with all that white stone.

So much for this year's drinking money.
 
I think you're a tad confused as to what money is, in theory or practice - not much more than a means of expediting negotiation. I also don't see how "less" would be relevant here, unless you're just conflating "less" with oppression itself - people would need so much of this or that in order to get by or meet certain goals, but I don't see how that would take into account anything "relational" in regards to earnings. If a person can't afford to put food on the table, then in a situation like that, "less or more" is pretty much irrelevent.

Likewise, that generalization and conflation has no bearing on women such as Marie Curie or Victoria Regina, who were quite prominent and influential even during an era such as the 19th century - moreso than an "average" or "below average" woman today does.

I am not confused about money. Money is power -- the power to stay alive, to get what you want or need, to influence others, to get your way.

And wow you have two examples of women who were influential. Compared to how many men?
 
I am not confused about money. Money is power -- the power to stay alive, to get what you want or need, to influence others, to get your way.

And wow you have two examples of women who were influential. Compared to how many men?
I believe that answer will be a long time coming.
 
I believe that answer will be a long time coming.

The traditional role of males has been, since prehistoric and primitive times, dealing with the outside world. Men defended the tribe from outside enemies. Men also did the hunting, since they had the weapons.

Women's role was within the tribe -- they did most of the child care, and dealt with plants. Child care was, of course, extremely important. Dealing with plants was extremely important, since 80% of the hunter/gatherer diet was from plants. Plants also provided medicine. Women had status.

Women lost most of their power and status as men took over agriculture, and war became increasingly important (because of the increasing need for land, since agriculture allowed populations to increase).

As society became more complex and technological, most women had little power. It was men that did the exploring, the inventing and the discovering. Taking care of the family home was still important, but if a man had enough money he could hire a maid to have and raise his children. So as money became ever more important, men's status increased and women's status decreased.

Then we had the women's movement in the 20th century and now women can more easily take on a male role, if they want. Women, overall, are still focused on the home and children, but they are allowed to do both roles, as exhausting as that can be.

Now women can invent and create and discover, like men. But they tend to prefer the nurturing careers, like nursing or teaching young children.

All facts, you can check.
 
The traditional role of males has been, since prehistoric and primitive times, dealing with the outside world. Men defended the tribe from outside enemies. Men also did the hunting, since they had the weapons.

Women's role was within the tribe -- they did most of the child care, and dealt with plants. Child care was, of course, extremely important. Dealing with plants was extremely important, since 80% of the hunter/gatherer diet was from plants. Plants also provided medicine. Women had status.

Women lost most of their power and status as men took over agriculture, and war became increasingly important (because of the increasing need for land, since agriculture allowed populations to increase).

As society became more complex and technological, most women had little power. It was men that did the exploring, the inventing and the discovering. Taking care of the family home was still important, but if a man had enough money he could hire a maid to have and raise his children. So as money became ever more important, men's status increased and women's status decreased.

Then we had the women's movement in the 20th century and now women can more easily take on a male role, if they want. Women, overall, are still focused on the home and children, but they are allowed to do both roles, as exhausting as that can be.

Now women can invent and create and discover, like men. But they tend to prefer the nurturing careers, like nursing or teaching young children.

All facts, you can check.
Uh, I think you missed the joke. Check the screen shot of the other person you replied to earlier.
 
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