Dealing with Life-Changing Events

[Tigger]

Since the beginning of the month I've had a potentially life-changing medical event. I was hospitalized overnight for a medical condition that, while I've had it for my entire 39 years of life, had not affected me directly in more than three decades and which I have not needed to be treated or medicatd for in more than a quarter century. I'm now back on medication for that condition and for a high blood pressure issue that the doctors diagnosed while I was in the hospital two weeks ago.

The potential consequences of this condition have finally hit me in the last week as I prepare to see a medical specialist for the first time in almost 30 years, tomorrow. I could be told I need to stop engaging in three of my favorite hobbies.... pistol shooting, medieval combat recreation, and working out/running due to the recurrance of this issue. If nothing else, the situations where I'm allowed to engage in these activities is likely to change significantly. Additionally, I'm likely to be on medication for the rest of my life for this issue.

The weight of these developments along with the side-effects of the new medication have really affected me mentally and emotionally, and not in a good way. I'm not sure how to deal with this. I had gone along for a quarter century thinking I was one of the lucky ones who wasn't going to really have to deal with this and now, just as everything seemed to be going in the right direction it rears its ugly head again and who knows how bad it's really going to be.

Any constructive adivce or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Lutherf]

My "go to" has always been the Serenity Prayer and a somewhat more militarized version of it that goes "If you've got a problem then fix it. If it can't be fixed then it isn't a problem, it's a fact of life. If it's a fact of life then keep moving and deal with it."

 

[Quag]

I unfortunately have some idea of how you feel, though from the sounds of it not as severe as I do not need medication. The only thing I can think of is to try and find new pastimes/hobbies that you can enjoy. I

Some small and possibly totally useless suggestions, Smaller pistol or air pistol shooting, Medieval armour construction, not the same as combat but will keep you in touch with friends you made doing this. As to working out running could some lesser activity replace it (don't know your problem and wont be so crude to ask) but perhaps biking (slow speed) or hiking can be replacements.
You may want to try totally different activities, sailing, fishing, etc.

Doesn't matter what it is just as long as you can find something, you don't want your life to become an empty shell.

 

[MaggieD]

Since the beginning of the month I've had a potentially life-changing medical event. I was hospitalized overnight for a medical condition that, while I've had it for my entire 39 years of life, had not affected me directly in more than three decades and which I have not needed to be treated or medicatd for in more than a quarter century. I'm now back on medication for that condition and for a high blood pressure issue that the doctors diagnosed while I was in the hospital two weeks ago.

The potential consequences of this condition have finally hit me in the last week as I prepare to see a medical specialist for the first time in almost 30 years, tomorrow. I could be told I need to stop engaging in three of my favorite hobbies.... pistol shooting, medieval combat recreation, and working out/running due to the recurrance of this issue. If nothing else, the situations where I'm allowed to engage in these activities is likely to change significantly. Additionally, I'm likely to be on medication for the rest of my life for this issue.

The weight of these developments along with the side-effects of the new medication have really affected me mentally and emotionally, and not in a good way. I'm not sure how to deal with this. I had gone along for a quarter century thinking I was one of the lucky ones who wasn't going to really have to deal with this and now, just as everything seemed to be going in the right direction it rears its ugly head again and who knows how bad it's really going to be.

Any constructive adivce or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

I hope your worries are over the top, Tigger.

Sometimes in our lives, our mettle is tested almost to the breaking point. It's during those times that we find out our true strength of character. And for most of us, that means we come out even stronger than we were before. After a time.

In a worst-case scenerio, if you have to give up those things you list, then I predict you will eventually find something to replace them. Or learn to enjoy them in a way that doesn't exacerbate your medical condition. Finding something to replace them may be your most difficult test because it will require that you be open to new things and be willing to search them out.

But first you will mourn their loss just as surely as if you'd lost a loved one.

The best advice your likely to get on this entire thread is Luther's.

 

[lizzie]

I have found that life is full of life-changing events, and that the only way to deal with them is one at a time, and as they come. I have no idea what facilitated your hospitalization, so I can't make any intelligent comment on that. As for high blood pressure, I am inclined toward trying alternatives, lifestyle changes, and natural remedies before I take prescription anti-hypertensives, because I don't like some of the side effects. Addressing emotional changes is one of the most difficult issues in my experience. I have become better with it over time, as it is something that has been a reality in my life. It is not easy, and it takes a sort of mental and emotional re-mapping. You can either medicate it, or you can address the underlying issues. Most people seem to opt for medicating, because the alternative is a tough road to walk, and requires letting your defenses down.

I wish the best for you, and wish I could give some sound advice, but I don't really have the information needed to do so.

 

[Tigger]

My "go to" has always been the Serenity Prayer and a somewhat more militarized version of it that goes "If you've got a problem then fix it. If it can't be fixed then it isn't a problem, it's a fact of life. If it's a fact of life then keep moving and deal with it."

Thanks for the input, Luther. My biggest problem is that I have a difficult time dealing with "facts of life" which don't conform to the way I see things or the way I want things to be. I'm kinda controlling that way.

I unfortunately have some idea of how you feel, though from the sounds of it not as severe as I do not need medication. The only thing I can think of is to try and find new pastimes/hobbies that you can enjoy. I

Some small and possibly totally useless suggestions, Smaller pistol or air pistol shooting, Medieval armour construction, not the same as combat but will keep you in touch with friends you made doing this. As to working out running could some lesser activity replace it (don't know your problem and wont be so crude to ask) but perhaps biking (slow speed) or hiking can be replacements. You may want to try totally different activities, sailing, fishing, etc.

Doesn't matter what it is just as long as you can find something, you don't want your life to become an empty shell.

Quag, thank you for the input and suggestions. I'm really hoping it doesn't get to the point where I have to give up or seriously reduce all three of the activities, since I'm not really sure what other sorts of active activities I'd enjoy. Thanks again.

 

[Tigger]

I hope your worries are over the top, Tigger.

Sometimes in our lives, our mettle is tested almost to the breaking point. It's during those times that we find out our true strength of character. And for most of us, that means we come out even stronger than we were before. After a time.

In a worst-case scenerio, if you have to give up those things you list, then I predict you will eventually find something to replace them. Or learn to enjoy them in a way that doesn't exacerbate your medical condition. Finding something to replace them may be your most difficult test because it will require that you be open to new things and be willing to search them out.

But first you will mourn their loss just as surely as if you'd lost a loved one.

The best advice your likely to get on this entire thread is Luther's.

I hope they're over the top as well Maggie, but I'm not holding my breath. I don't really deal well with these sorts of stresses or loss of control in my life. I never have. As you point out, I'm not exactly the most open-minded individual in the world.

That mourning will be long, painful, and extremely unpleasant. Most of my social circle is tied up in one or more of those activities.

 

[Tigger]

I have found that life is full of life-changing events, and that the only way to deal with them is one at a time, and as they come. I have no idea what facilitated your hospitalization, so I can't make any intelligent comment on that. As for high blood pressure, I am inclined toward trying alternatives, lifestyle changes, and natural remedies before I take prescription anti-hypertensives, because I don't like some of the side effects. Addressing emotional changes is one of the most difficult issues in my experience. I have become better with it over time, as it is something that has been a reality in my life. It is not easy, and it takes a sort of mental and emotional re-mapping. You can either medicate it, or you can address the underlying issues. Most people seem to opt for medicating, because the alternative is a tough road to walk, and requires letting your defenses down.

I wish the best for you, and wish I could give some sound advice, but I don't really have the information needed to do so.

The hospitalization was required by a pair of petit mal seizures I experienced over a four day span almost three weeks ago. I hadn't had one since I had a trio of them 35 years ago, at age 4. The third one of those left me partially paralyzed for four and a half hours. I came off the meds at age 11 and hadn't had an incident since, until earlier this month. The seizure activity is related to sturge-weber syndrome, a complication of my birthmark.

In terms of the high blood pressure.... I'm hoping I can get it down with some weight loss and changes in diet, but for now they've got me on a very low dose of medication to try to control it.

 

[lizzie]

The hospitalization was required by a pair of petit mal seizures I experienced over a four day span almost three weeks ago. I hadn't had one since I had a trio of them 35 years ago, at age 4. The third one of those left me partially paralyzed for four and a half hours. I came off the meds at age 11 and hadn't had an incident since, until earlier this month. The seizure activity is related to sturge-weber syndrome, a complication of my birthmark.

In terms of the high blood pressure.... I'm hoping I can get it down with some weight loss and changes in diet, but for now they've got me on a very low dose of medication to try to control it.

So, were you started on an anti-convulsant as well, or were you already on one?

 

[sangha]

Thanks for the input, Luther. My biggest problem is that I have a difficult time dealing with "facts of life" which don't conform to the way I see things or the way I want things to be. I'm kinda controlling that way.

I have a feeling you'll reject this suggestion, but therapy can be useful in learning how to cope when reality challenges ones preconceptions about how life is "supposed to be"

Therapy has come a long way. It's no longer about laying down on a couch and talking to the doctor about your childhood. Cognitive-behavioral is what I recommend. It is specifically focused on how one thinks about life and how that affects the way one reacts to life-altering events.

 

[Tigger]

So, were you started on an anti-convulsant as well, or were you already on one?

I spent the night of Sunday, 10/6 in the hospital. They gave me a loading dose of an anti-convulsant and a prescription for it as well. I hadn't been on one since I was 11 years old (phenobarbital).

 

[Tigger]

I have a feeling you'll reject this suggestion, but therapy can be useful in learning how to cope when reality challenges ones preconceptions about how life is "supposed to be"

Therapy has come a long way. It's no longer about laying down on a couch and talking to the doctor about your childhood. Cognitive-behavioral is what I recommend. It is specifically focused on how one thinks about life and how that affects the way one reacts to life-altering events.

Thanks for the information and the suggestion. My fiance has suggested something similar. It may have to wait until after the new year when my health care provider finally stats including mental health coverage as well, but it's being considered.

 

[lizzie]

I spent the night of Sunday, 10/6 in the hospital. They gave me a loading dose of an anti-convulsant and a prescription for it as well. I hadn't been on one since I was 11 years old (phenobarbital).

Well, phenobarb has been around for a long time. In that class of drugs, it's the one that I would personally prefer, over the others available. In addition to helping control seizure activity, it seems to have a general "relaxing" effect on the people I've known, who take it. I would much rather take phenobarb rather than Dilantin or Depakote.

 

[sangha]

Thanks for the information and the suggestion. My fiance has suggested something similar. It may have to wait until after the new year when my health care provider finally stats including mental health coverage as well, but it's being considered.

I'm glad to hear that you're willing to consider it.

PS - Is it possible that you can continue to have some sort of role in the activities that interest you, but in another capacity? Maybe you could be a referree or something like that. This way, you can continue to get the social benefits.

 

[winston53660]

When I got diagnosed with isolated let ventricular non-compaction, a very rare and life threatening congenital heart defect, I found solace in the littlest thing. If I hit a green light while driving that was great. Stupid pop songs like Journey and what not. I'm on medication for the rest o my life and I'm on a 20 pound weight restriction for ever. But it is those little things that make lie worth it.

 

[Tigger]

Well, phenobarb has been around for a long time. In that class of drugs, it's the one that I would personally prefer, over the others available. In addition to helping control seizure activity, it seems to have a general "relaxing" effect on the people I've known, who take it. I would much rather take phenobarb rather than Dilantin or Depakote.

Pheno is what I used to be on. They've got me on Phenytoin (dilantin) now. Pheno worked fine but did have some unpleasant side effects and I never really got that "relaxed" feeling from it. We'll see how this works out.

I'm glad to hear that you're willing to consider it.

PS - Is it possible that you can continue to have some sort of role in the activities that interest you, but in another capacity? Maybe you could be a referree or something like that. This way, you can continue to get the social benefits.

Possibly. At least in the shooting and medieval combat activities. The question at that point becomes... "Can I deal with going to these events even though I know I can no longer participate in the way I would prefer?" Not sure I have an answer for that just yet.

 

[Tigger]

When I got diagnosed with isolated let ventricular non-compaction, a very rare and life threatening congenital heart defect, I found solace in the littlest thing. If I hit a green light while driving that was great. Stupid pop songs like Journey and what not. I'm on medication for the rest o my life and I'm on a 20 pound weight restriction for ever. But it is those little things that make lie worth it.

Thank you for your input, winston. I truly appreciate it.

 

[CanadaJohn]

Since the beginning of the month I've had a potentially life-changing medical event. I was hospitalized overnight for a medical condition that, while I've had it for my entire 39 years of life, had not affected me directly in more than three decades and which I have not needed to be treated or medicatd for in more than a quarter century. I'm now back on medication for that condition and for a high blood pressure issue that the doctors diagnosed while I was in the hospital two weeks ago.

The potential consequences of this condition have finally hit me in the last week as I prepare to see a medical specialist for the first time in almost 30 years, tomorrow. I could be told I need to stop engaging in three of my favorite hobbies.... pistol shooting, medieval combat recreation, and working out/running due to the recurrance of this issue. If nothing else, the situations where I'm allowed to engage in these activities is likely to change significantly. Additionally, I'm likely to be on medication for the rest of my life for this issue.

The weight of these developments along with the side-effects of the new medication have really affected me mentally and emotionally, and not in a good way. I'm not sure how to deal with this. I had gone along for a quarter century thinking I was one of the lucky ones who wasn't going to really have to deal with this and now, just as everything seemed to be going in the right direction it rears its ugly head again and who knows how bad it's really going to be.

Any constructive adivce or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

I'm sorry to hear this Tigger and hope you're well and back to normal soon - could its flare-up have had anything to do with the job/career decision you were contemplating last month?

Take care and be well.

 

[FirstTake]

Since the beginning of the month I've had a potentially life-changing medical event. I was hospitalized overnight for a medical condition that, while I've had it for my entire 39 years of life, had not affected me directly in more than three decades and which I have not needed to be treated or medicatd for in more than a quarter century. I'm now back on medication for that condition and for a high blood pressure issue that the doctors diagnosed while I was in the hospital two weeks ago.

The potential consequences of this condition have finally hit me in the last week as I prepare to see a medical specialist for the first time in almost 30 years, tomorrow. I could be told I need to stop engaging in three of my favorite hobbies.... pistol shooting, medieval combat recreation, and working out/running due to the recurrance of this issue. If nothing else, the situations where I'm allowed to engage in these activities is likely to change significantly. Additionally, I'm likely to be on medication for the rest of my life for this issue.

The weight of these developments along with the side-effects of the new medication have really affected me mentally and emotionally, and not in a good way. I'm not sure how to deal with this. I had gone along for a quarter century thinking I was one of the lucky ones who wasn't going to really have to deal with this and now, just as everything seemed to be going in the right direction it rears its ugly head again and who knows how bad it's really going to be.

Any constructive adivce or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

I was like you, healthy until my life changing diagnosis.

May I suggest guided meditation for healing.

I had/have so much to live for, count your blessings and even though your life is changing, you still have your life!

Find new hobbies, it is hard to change, but it becomes easier with time.

The best to you on your new road in life.

 

[GottaGo]

While blindsided at age 45 with a life altering medical condition, I spent the first 18 months in denial, doing only the basics necessary to remain alive.

I've come to terms with it. I take care of it, and hopefully it won't kill me. It's only a handshake agreement, but I have to trust that I will make it through.

Seriously though, I've adjusted a few things in my life to make it easier to manage, I've put aside some of the things that would aggravate it, but I allow myself to fully enjoy everything else about my life. I am determined to not let it rule my life.

Take the meds you have to, moderate the activities that you must. Hopefully you won't have to give them up completely, just maybe do them less frequently.

Safe journey.

 

[Gipper]

No input. I have bulging discs in my back, but I don't think anyone would label it as "life-altering".

 

[FirstTake]

No input. I have bulging discs in my back, but I don't think anyone would label it as "life-altering".

It has to be painful! It must have changed your lifestyle a bit! Sorry, ouch

 

[paddymcdougall]

My husband has gone through this; from being a very active person, he's now mostly stuck at home, and tires very quickly. It was hard for him for years. He finally is coming to "acceptance" more - realizing he can't do the things he used to do. But it wasn't easy for him. (or for me as caregiver)! You may want therapy for you and for others in your household, so they understand what you can and can't do, and that your anger (if you have it) isn't against them but your condition.

On the plus side, he is now focusing on getting our TV and audio systems all going great. We have a Sonos system, a NAS, we have a turntable for our LPs, he's started doing record cleaning, and the TV system is just beautiful - he even got three-d going, although we barely watch it. He configured the iRule system for his iPad for the remote for everything. So he found projects he can do at home that engage him mentally but aren't too stressful physically, and he tries to accept he can only work on them for a short time.

Best of luck to you; it's awful.

 

[Gipper]

It has to be painful! It must have changed your lifestyle a bit! Sorry, ouch

I sleep in a recliner instead of a bed. Not as mobile as I once was.

Definitely an inconvenience, but I won't compare myself to someone who is blind or paralyzed - especially because I can always get this fixed sometime. Might even get one of those decompression tables. I've heard that they work wonders.

 

[Tigger]

I'm sorry to hear this Tigger and hope you're well and back to normal soon - could its flare-up have had anything to do with the job/career decision you were contemplating last month?

Thanks. I don't think so, but I can't be certain as of yet. I see the Neurology folks tomorrow, and I've already got a page full of questions for them about what may have cause this and what sort of restrictions I will be on from here out.

I was like you, healthy until my life changing diagnosis. May I suggest guided meditation for healing. I had/have so much to live for, count your blessings and even though your life is changing, you still have your life!

Find new hobbies, it is hard to change, but it becomes easier with time.

I wouldn't say I've been "healthy", but nothing has been major. Now, this could be life-altering, unfortunately. While I do use meditation for certain things in my life, healing is not something it's done much good for me with over the years, though I do appreciate the suggestion. I believe that having one's life is a blessing, but that at a certain point the quality of life must come before the quantity of it. This shoulen't be one of those issues, but it's probably going to make some big changes, which are something I don't care for.

While blindsided at age 45 with a life altering medical condition, I spent the first 18 months in denial, doing only the basics necessary to remain alive. I've come to terms with it. I take care of it, and hopefully it won't kill me. It's only a handshake agreement, but I have to trust that I will make it through.

Seriously though, I've adjusted a few things in my life to make it easier to manage, I've put aside some of the things that would aggravate it, but I allow myself to fully enjoy everything else about my life. I am determined to not let it rule my life. Take the meds you have to, moderate the activities that you must. Hopefully you won't have to give them up completely, just maybe do them less frequently.

I'm not necessarily in denial. More in frustration, slight depression, and a bit of anger. I go from feeling almost nothing to being in a near-rage from hour to hour at times. I will survive this. Of that I have no doubt. My concern is what my life will look like on the other side.

Thanks for the advice/input and I wish you the best of luck with your own challenges.