I am a unemployed loser

I sold IT hardware and telecom B2B for about 10 years. The industry is in a major downward spiral because there is very very little margin in hardware now. Plus no one was buying anything. No IT departments were buying a DECENT amount of merchandise. I started with zero accounts and came up with 6. I was with the company for 5 months and got canned. When I had opportunities to sell product, I was actually DENIED to provide terms anything over NET 15. I can write a small book on how I cold called my ass off and came up with opportunities.... and how they were denied! I could have sold servers to CBS for the damn Super Bowl last year but my corporate office said CBS was too SLOW to provide CREDIT references!!!!! I could have shot the idiot who told me that!
Before that I was with another company for about a year and also got canned. I was hired along with 8 others and none of them lasted past 4 months. But they canned me after a major re-org.
I have VERRRRRRRRRRRRY bad luck with companies. Its either they go bankrupt, reorganize, close the branch office Im in / relocate, or they lie about job duties, commission, dont PAY the commission I EARNED, lied about training, benefits........
I can go on. Its gotten to the point that some of my family think Im full of ****. But my close friends and family know the sad, sick truth. I am freakin' CURSED with companies. Now dont get me wrong because I have been canned because I suck at a job too. But that has happened 2 times in over 18 years.
I dont even want to say how many jobs Ive had.
I want to go back to college but I dont have the money. Im not eligible for grants because I have a Bach Degree. (you cant get a grant if you have a Bach degree already)
I cant take out a loan. I have ENOUGH debt already.
I dont even LIKE selling anymore. Im tired of being only as good as my last month of sales. I deserve better than that! Im tired of kissing peoples asses and taking their **** just so I move product. Im tired of freakin cold calling every day! Not only making cold calls but making 90 a day and providing a report to my manager on EACH result. Then providing PROJECTED sales. Then providing sales that are the FUNNEL!!!
Ive developed heart palpitations that happen serveral times a day. Ones where I lose my breath. I actually have gone to the hospital from panic attacks more than 15 times in the last 15 years!!!!!
But the job market is ****! And I need a job.
I dont know what to do