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Time to pay your way?

I was thinking though. After my father died, my mother found a boyfriend and they lived together for about 5 years until he died last month. He was a nice guy, he took great care of her and they split all the expenses evenly, but in a lot of states, they have commonlaw marriage statues which say that if two people live together for more than, say, 7 years, they are married under the eyes of the state. Of course, this doesn't count if they're renter/tenant with a contract or similar, but hey, your mom might actually be married and doesn't know it.
 
I'd tell him to make an honest woman out of her, pay his fair share, treat her right... or GTFO....but unlike most folks, I'm more interested in seeing the right thing be done rather than sparing someones feelings... I can be an asshole of the highest caliber.

after 50 years, it might be way too late to act, though.
 
It wasn't easy for my mom. She was a single mom, no high school education, factory job her whole life. Effectively stopped working 30 years ago. Never made more than $200 a week in her life...and that was just during the last few years making frying pans on an assembly line. She never owned a car; lived in one home for the last 50 years. Quite the little saver.
pass on my respect for your mom...:)
 
I was thinking though. After my father died, my mother found a boyfriend and they lived together for about 5 years until he died last month. He was a nice guy, he took great care of her and they split all the expenses evenly, but in a lot of states, they have commonlaw marriage statues which say that if two people live together for more than, say, 7 years, they are married under the eyes of the state. Of course, this doesn't count if they're renter/tenant with a contract or similar, but hey, your mom might actually be married and doesn't know it.

That's an excellent point. I do know, because of my own situation, that Illinois doesn't recognize common law marriages. I checked that out before Tommy Boy moved in.

But excellent point for others.
 
That's an excellent point. I do know, because of my own situation, that Illinois doesn't recognize common law marriages. I checked that out before Tommy Boy moved in.

But excellent point for others.

Daaaaaang. Too bad she ain't in Cali. She could have 50% of that 1.2 if she were.
 
Daaaaaang. Too bad she ain't in Cali. She could have 50% of that 1.2 if she were.

I was told very pointedly by a family attorney that California does NOT have common law marriage. He said it is a very common misconception that they do.
 
From what you've posted, I'd leave it well enough alone. Your mom seems to be happy with the arrangement, and while Tommy is a moocher, it's not like he's stealing from your mom. After all, he's eating the same 39 cent dinners and cruise ship doggie bags your mom is. That's how he managed to have $1.5mil in the bank.

I understand that you don't like the guy, and I don't blame you. But your guiding principle should be what makes your mom happy. However, I would keep a close eye on the situation. Tommy doesn't sound like the kind of guy who knows how to deal with severe senility, or willing to do the things your mom is going to need done for her. I suspect that sooner or later, they'll need to be separated.
 
I was told very pointedly by a family attorney that California does NOT have common law marriage. He said it is a very common misconception that they do.

I was more thinking about the 50%. ;)
 
From what you've posted, I'd leave it well enough alone. Your mom seems to be happy with the arrangement, and while Tommy is a moocher, it's not like he's stealing from your mom. After all, he's eating the same 39 cent dinners and cruise ship doggie bags your mom is. That's how he managed to have $1.5mil in the bank.

I understand that you don't like the guy, and I don't blame you. But your guiding principle should be what makes your mom happy. However, I would keep a close eye on the situation. Tommy doesn't sound like the kind of guy who knows how to deal with severe senility, or willing to do the things your mom is going to need done for her. I suspect that sooner or later, they'll need to be separated.

Thanks, Sanga. Sage advice.

Just to keep the record straight, mom's friend is John. Tommy belongs to me. ;)
 
Thanks, Sanga. Sage advice.

Just to keep the record straight, mom's friend is John. Tommy belongs to me. ;)

Ooops!

I'm very bad with names

I'm a typical programmer. Give me a computer related acronym, and explain what it means, and I know it for life. Introduce yourself, and tell me your name, and you'll be repeating it several times before I get it.
 
Same. I can remember somebody's phone number before I'll remember their name.
 
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