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The term "Sperm Donor"

AGENT J said:
in front of the child:
i agree 100%
my daughter has never heard me bad mouth her mother eventhough she deserved it, now that my daughter is older she just knows the fact her mom is just a egg donor.

not in front of the child:
perfectly fine by me
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To me, it goes further than that. A child whose parent(s) have chosen not to be involved in their lives should be told that "Your mother did the best she could do I guess . . . it wasn't good -- it wasn't near enough -- in fact, it was little to nothing . . . but it was probably all she thought she could do at the time."

A child shouldn't carry the burden of their uninvolved parent(s).
 
I don't mind the slang term. I have a friend who refers to her biological father, who's a complete piece of crap, as "the sperm donor." She has a dad: her stepfather. That guy just contributed some DNA.

Certainly, I don't mind people being called what they are, of either sex. There are terrible mothers out there too. I wouldn't mind a bit for them to be referred to by their biological service, because that is the only service they provided in that child's life.

I think "sperm donor" is definitely reserved for the truly crappy ones though. Not all "biological fathers/mothers" are outright bad people. And others have brought up some of those possible situations here: he didn't know, one parent blocked the other from contact, child was given up for adoption, etc.

As I've said before, anyone with one working gonad can reproduce. Whoop-dee-do. It takes more than that to be a father, or a mother for that matter.
 
Henrin said:
No, the word choice Autonomous offers respect. It needs to be disrespectful but still factual.
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Well, so does "donor."

Gestator? Incubator? Fine with me.

To insult the people who raised their children, cared for them, and tried to give them good lives, and to insult their children who care for them deeply, by saying that those people aren't their parents simply because their DNA doesn't match, is incomprehensibly cruel and without basis.

Words mean things. Biology does not own words. A man who raises a child is a father, no matter where that child came from.
 
MaggieD said:
1.)To me, it goes further than that. A child whose parent(s) have chosen not to be involved in their lives should be told that "Your mother did the best she could do I guess . . . it wasn't good -- it wasn't near enough -- in fact, it was little to nothing . . . but it was probably all she thought she could do at the time."
2.) A child shouldn't carry the burden of their uninvolved parent(s).
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1.) nah, while i choose to not bad mouth my daughters egg donor i most certainly wasnt going to lie to her either.. It was surprisingly easy to just not talk about her moms issues and just tell her why i do stuff. WHen she got old she asked some questions and i told her the truth and nothing more (when she was old enough)
2.) i agree that why i didnt bring it up nor did i make up stories or excuses
 
MaggieD said:
To me, it goes further than that. A child whose parent(s) have chosen not to be involved in their lives should be told that "Your mother did the best she could do I guess . . . it wasn't good -- it wasn't near enough -- in fact, it was little to nothing . . . but it was probably all she thought she could do at the time."

A child shouldn't carry the burden of their uninvolved parent(s).
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I don't think anyone said that a child should. The fact is that it takes TWO to have a child. It's most certainly NOT all on the mother. If the father takes off and has nothing to do with the life HE helped to create, then he is a damn sperm donor and no father.
 
Graffias said:
All men are either sperm donors or money donors to women. If you don't fall into either of those categories, you don't exist.
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Bitter much?

Way to generalize based upon your own (obviously) horrible experiences.
 
MaggieD said:
It's an ugly term. It should never ever ever EVER be used in front of the child of that father. Children need affirmation. Calling their father "the sperm donor" is a low-down LOUSY term to use to describe the person the mother chose to have sex with with the thought that she would bring a baby into this world.

I can't TELL you how objectionable I find that term.
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I'd really like an explanation for that statement. I find it extremely offensive. The man also is quite aware that unprotected sex can result in pregnancy, and he also has birth control in the form of condoms available. Why are laying the blame completely on the mother?

And a lot of people have sex without the intention of bringing a life into the world. Sometimes **** happens.
 
Aunt Spiker said:
I started a thread, and I used the term sperm donor to refer to my ex. Quite a few people, upon reading that term, were suddenly unable to focus on the overall topic of that thread and, instead, zeroed in on my use of that term. So, I've opened this thread where all these individuals can convene and debate it instead of constantly derailing that thread.

Here: I'll provide my definition for Sperm Donor:
"A male who fathers offspring without any intention, desire, want, or concern to be involved in said offspring's life."

As opposed to the use of the term "Dad" or "Father" in which the individual does, in some fashion, have intention, desire, want, or concern to be involved in said offspring's life - even if he is not (due to a large number of circumstances).
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I would never be a "sperm donor" in anyway shape or form...

To digress I would never donate my "DNA" either...

IMO, it's an "all or nothing" thing ....
 
ChrisL said:
Sometimes **** happens.
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wow I'd hate to live my life with that belief. wait it might be totally awesome!!! like you know? This accepting responsibility for my actions thing has become rather wearisome after a half century Where do I sign up?
 
Mr.Nick said:
IMO, it's an "all or nothing" thing ....
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In for a penny in for a pound?
hah yeah I'm like that too my standards are way to high for what I'll stick the lil guy in
2yuy9af.jpg
 
AngryOldGuy said:
wow I'd hate to live my life with that belief. wait it might be totally awesome!!! like you know? This accepting responsibility for my actions thing has become rather wearisome after a half century Where do I sign up?
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The truth is accepting your responsibilities and that **** happens are both required. The Universe hates a martyr.
 
AngryOldGuy said:
wow I'd hate to live my life with that belief. wait it might be totally awesome!!! like you know? This accepting responsibility for my actions thing has become rather wearisome after a half century Where do I sign up?
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Accidents happen.
 
Dude: as a dude it's an in or out thing. hahaha

I prefer a rubber... If that action itself insults a woman you know she is certainly not be the type....
 
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MaggieD said:
It's an ugly term. It should never ever ever EVER be used in front of the child of that father. Children need affirmation. Calling their father "the sperm donor" is a low-down LOUSY term to use to describe the person the mother chose to have sex with with the thought that she would bring a baby into this world.

I can't TELL you how objectionable I find that term.
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So, in your view, what would be the appropriate term for the "father of said child who disowned said child before he was born, neglected him, abandoned him, and then willingly signed away his parental rights to said child without thought?"

Don't worry - the few times the kids and I have talked about him, he's been referred to "as my ex." I find it interesting that people would assume that I (or anyone else) would use the same language with our kids that we do online/with friends/with family. I'm sure some women do, but I most certainly am not that way and would hope that those, here, would know me better than that.

My oldest prefers I not talk about "you know - him" at all. (That's how he says it)

My husband adopted the boys and has been in their life for - well - almost their whole lives. He's "Dad" and "my father" to them (and all those related terms). He's not even 'my step dad.' They don't classify "him" in the same category at all as the man who cares for them, now.
 
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well then I guess my kid can count himself lucky to have had me as his father
yanno that wacky thing that used to be the norm, get married then have kids
until death do you part (or she kills me)
 
Captain Adverse said:
I agree with your first definition of sperm donor, but I think your second definition of father or dad is a tad too broad.

You forget the problem with "rape." It has been shown that many convicted rapists would LOVE to be "involved in said offspring." Would you still consider them a "Father or Dad? How would you mofidy your definition if not?
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A rapist is just a rapist and nothing else in my mind - no father, no sperm donor - he's just nothing.
 
SmokeAndMirrors said:
Well, so does "donor."
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Not to me it doesn't.

Gestator? Incubator? Fine with me.
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So if I was to call a woman I got pregnant just a incubator for my baby you wouldn't feel my words were inappropriate? I somehow doubt if I said those words and meant them I would get out of it without being called a sexist by many women here.

To insult the people who raised their children, cared for them, and tried to give them good lives, and to insult their children who care for them deeply, by saying that those people aren't their parents simply because their DNA doesn't match, is incomprehensibly cruel and without basis.
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I don't see anything cruel about it and I surely don't understand how it's without basis. :shrug:

Words mean things. Biology does not own words. A man who raises a child is a father, no matter where that child came from.
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Words do mean things and sometimes those definitions are trying to equate things that are not equal to make people feel better. A caregiver of children is a not a father, period. Trying to equate a biological father with just some random man that decided to care for his children is entirely inappropriate and lacks merit.
 
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Henrin said:
Words do mean things and sometimes those definitions are trying to equate things that are not equal to make people feel better. A caregiver of children is a not a father, period. Trying to equate a biological father with just some random man that decided to care for his children is entirely inappropriate and lacks merit.
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every time you repeat this lie im going to point it out and destroy it with facts. WHy do you keep posting this factual lie?
American Heritage Dictionary Entry: father
American Heritage Dictionary Entry: father
fa·ther (fäthər)
Share: fa·ther
n.
1.a. A male whose sperm unites with an egg, producing an embryo.
b. A male whose impregnation of a female results in the birth of a child.
c. A man who adopts a child.
d. A man who raises a child.
 
AGENT J said:
every time you repeat this lie im going to point it out and destroy it with facts. WHy do you keep posting this factual lie?
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You can post those definitions however many times you desire, but until you deal with my argument it's not going to change.
 
Henrin said:
1.)You can post those definitions however many times you desire, but until you deal with my argument it's not going to change.
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1.) i will post these facts every time you post the lie
2.) every argument you posted has been dealt with and destroyed by me and many other posters with facts

your argument is factually false and fails and its not going to change.

so again i ask why do you keep posting that lie?
 
AGENT J said:
1.) i will post these facts every time you post the lie
2.) every argument you posted has been dealt with and destroyed by me and many other posters with facts

your argument is factually false and fails and its not going to change.

so again i ask why do you keep posting that lie?
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To actually destroy my argument you must defend the use of the word to describe a man that is simply a caregiver of another mans children. Since the two individuals are not equatable there is no possible way you can do this.
 
Henrin said:
To actually destroy my argument you must defend the use of the word to describe a man that is simply a caregiver of another mans children.
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this was done repeatedly by the definition of the word

remind me again what facts you have to support your post? thats right none, you just keep reposting a lie hoping somebody is uneducated enough to fall for it

your post loses and gets destroyed by facts again.
so again i ask why do you keep posting that lie?
 
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