The Empty Nest Syndrome

[Verthaine]

Now that the Holidays are over,and all my daughters have gone back to their own lives,careers,and college,it seems my wife is feeling the "Empty Nest Syndrome" particularly bad.Now don't get me wrong, I miss not having my daughters around the house,but I've had them all from birth till adulthood,while Lena (my second wife) has only been in their lives 12 year.
Lena mopes around the house all day,keeps going into the girls rooms and cries, and nothing I do seems to cheer her up.I suggested a nice luxury cruise,but she doesn't seem to keen on the idea.We n't have children ourselves(Lena lost her ovaries to cancer) and at 50+ years I think I may be a little too old to adopt.
Has anyone else here gone through "The Syndrome" and have suggestions on how to bring her out of it?

 

[TheGirlNextDoor]

Now that the Holidays are over,and all my daughters have gone back to their own lives,careers,and college,it seems my wife is feeling the "Empty Nest Syndrome" particularly bad.Now don't get me wrong, I miss not having my daughters around the house,but I've had them all from birth till adulthood,while Lena (my second wife) has only been in their lives 12 year.
Lena mopes around the house all day,keeps going into the girls rooms and cries, and nothing I do seems to cheer her up.I suggested a nice luxury cruise,but she doesn't seem to keen on the idea.We n't have children ourselves(Lena lost her ovaries to cancer) and at 50+ years I think I may be a little too old to adopt.
Has anyone else here gone through "The Syndrome" and have suggestions on how to bring her out of it?

I haven't, yet. I dread the time when my kids leave home, which will be in about three years in my best guesstimate - my kids are 16 months apart, so I'm assuming within a year and a half I will have an empty house. I can understand the pain she feels, although I haven't experienced it.

I hope you can find something to help her transition between having 'kids' at home and then having an "empty" house.

 

[joko104]

She needs to find other obligations and things to keep her busy. If it is about children, find volunteer children's activities.

You both are not too old to foster care teens.

 

[Verthaine]

She needs to find other obligations and things to keep her busy. If it is about children, find volunteer children's activities.

You both are not too old to foster care teens.

Unfortunately both our careers take up too much of our time as it is.I'm in the process of expanding my company,and Lena is still settling in in her position as chief surgeon.
I am willing to scale back a bit to accommodate a foster child.But I don't think Lena is ready just yet to once again raise another child that is not her own.(Don't get me wrong,she loved our daughters as if she gave birth to them herself.)
Lena does have lots of experience counselling ovarian cancer patients.Maybe dealing with younger patients with cancer will do her (and them) good.

 

[Ray410]

Now that the Holidays are over,and all my daughters have gone back to their own lives,careers,and college,it seems my wife is feeling the "Empty Nest Syndrome" particularly bad.Now don't get me wrong, I miss not having my daughters around the house,but I've had them all from birth till adulthood,while Lena (my second wife) has only been in their lives 12 year.
Lena mopes around the house all day,keeps going into the girls rooms and cries, and nothing I do seems to cheer her up.I suggested a nice luxury cruise,but she doesn't seem to keen on the idea.We n't have children ourselves(Lena lost her ovaries to cancer) and at 50+ years I think I may be a little too old to adopt.
Has anyone else here gone through "The Syndrome" and have suggestions on how to bring her out of it?

It may not be the "empty nest" syndrome, it may be the fact that she was never able to have children of her own. Maybe she's at a stage in her life where the fact of your children coming home for awhile exacerbated that feeling. She doesn't have any children that are ever going to come home to her. I don't know because I'm male and I do have children, but I believe that at a certain age, this can be very difficult for a woman. I feel very sorry for women who are hurting like this.

 

[tessaesque]

A puppy?

 

[Gipper]

Hell, I'll say it.

Viagra.

 

[joko104]

Unfortunately both our careers take up too much of our time as it is.I'm in the process of expanding my company,and Lena is still settling in in her position as chief surgeon.
I am willing to scale back a bit to accommodate a foster child.But I don't think Lena is ready just yet to once again raise another child that is not her own.(Don't get me wrong,she loved our daughters as if she gave birth to them herself.)
Lena does have lots of experience counselling ovarian cancer patients.Maybe dealing with younger patients with cancer will do her (and them) good.

That makes sense. She probably just needs some time to adjust.

 

[wolfman24]

I long for the day but it is at least 5 years away. Bummer.

 

[Goshin]

Now that the Holidays are over,and all my daughters have gone back to their own lives,careers,and college,it seems my wife is feeling the "Empty Nest Syndrome" particularly bad.Now don't get me wrong, I miss not having my daughters around the house,but I've had them all from birth till adulthood,while Lena (my second wife) has only been in their lives 12 year.
Lena mopes around the house all day,keeps going into the girls rooms and cries, and nothing I do seems to cheer her up.I suggested a nice luxury cruise,but she doesn't seem to keen on the idea.We n't have children ourselves(Lena lost her ovaries to cancer) and at 50+ years I think I may be a little too old to adopt.
Has anyone else here gone through "The Syndrome" and have suggestions on how to bring her out of it?

I have not experienced this as yet, but I know the day is coming and I dread it. I've been a single parent for 15 years, and my life has revolved around that... I suspect I am going to find it difficult to deal with.

 

[the_recruit]

Host a foreign exchange student?

 

[lizzie]

Lena mopes around the house all day,keeps going into the girls rooms and cries, and nothing I do seems to cheer her up.I suggested a nice luxury cruise,but she doesn't seem to keen on the idea.We n't have children ourselves(Lena lost her ovaries to cancer) and at 50+ years I think I may be a little too old to adopt.
Has anyone else here gone through "The Syndrome" and have suggestions on how to bring her out of it?

My experience was very different, perhaps because I had boys rather than girls. I found empty-nesting to be extremely liberating, and once I adjusted by picking up some new interests and hobbies, I really enjoyed it.

Some women have such strong maternal instincts (on the nurturing side), that they have alot of trouble letting go and pushing the fledglings to fly. My maternal instincts were very nurturing when my boys were young, but as they grew, my primary responsibility (as I saw it), was in preparing my kids to face the world, and be independent.

I know that empty nesting is a serious problem, but hopefully, she will adjust and find some pleasure in her newfound freedom, with outside interests that stimulate her mentally and intellectually. I seriously consider this to be the best time of my life, although I loved being a mother with young children.

 

[daliana]

Hi,

she must occupy their time with she likes.Personally i think some rest and relaxation would do you great, both of you. Enjoy together t this stage of yours life. you've done all your duties as a parent and a mother, maybe it's time to be a bit selfish I still like a vacation together would help. I've found this for you. It's a program called ViaSeminars.com and it's a mix of travel, cycling and counseling addressed specifically to empty nester. Maybe you should give them a look...

i hope things work out for you