Should male victims of family violence get help and protection?

[Phys251]

Many researchers believe that men do suffer domestic violence -- according to a 2007 Harvard study, 70% of non -- reciprocal is against men by women. Even Huffington Post has articles on the issue of male victims.

Nevertheless, some researchers believe that acknowledging the issue of male DV victims hurts women.

Great minds like Elena Lobacheva, Raina Mersane, and Jenna Price believe that men should not be viewed as victims:

I call fact-check on that 70% claim. However, it is entirely true that some domestic violence is woman-on-man. It doesn't matter what the genders are, domestic violence is a bad thing.

While we're on the subject, I think that "men shouldn't hit women" is a misleading message. A better message would be that you can only hit someone in a case of informed consent or self-defense. Nothing else.

 

[shrubnose]

Every human being should be treated the same.




"Tolerance is giving to every other human being every right that you claim for yourself." ~ Robert Green Ingersoll

 

[shrubnose]

It's been known for a few years know that women are actually more violent and coercive in relationships.

Surprise?

If you said some women you'd be a lot closer to the truth.

Anyone who blames all members of a group for something that some members of the group do is a bigot.

 

[shrubnose]

Well, to the most part

the man in the relationship is bigger and stronger.

:shrug:

Do the men in the USA control all of the guns?

I don't think so.

Who's stronger than a 45?

:lol:

 

[Northern Light]

A well respected moderate feminist that I enjoy reading up on, named Christina Hoffman, repeats often that men are more often the victims of violent crime, and are more often murdered. In heterosexual relationships women are more often victims of domestic violence, but 40% of men is no small chunk either.

We should stop trying to play gender superiority politics when it comes to DV and be open to hearing anyone's story.

Well, to the most part the man in the relationship is bigger and stronger. :shrug:

What does that have to do with anything?

A lot of men are decent, honorable, respectable, empathetic, and would not hurt a fly. It's not a character flaw or a weakness, it just means they're not psychopathic enough to hit someone. Put an empath with a psycho, regardless of their sex, and the same dynamic always plays out -- but because there's a societal bias toward women being the victim, people don't tend to imagine how a woman could hurt a man. The traditionalist machismo non-sense compounds the problem.

My brother in law's wife would attack him and threaten to tell the police that he was abusing her and the kids, or that she would find a way to take his kids away from him. She went totally psycho and thankfully it ended with him filing for divorce. Anyway my point is that abuse is complicated and insidious. People who have never been in an abusive relationship with someone they love and have an attachment to will never understand, so it's easy to judge.

 

[Lursa]

That is correct. About 40% of all domestic violence is by women to men. The difference is that women oftern use weapons whereas men do not. Women are even more likely to be the ones committing psychological abuse...

In both cases that's mostly because men generally have the greater brute strength. It's only compensating with alternatives that they can use. But men use alot of psychological abuse to keep women dependent and in fear of them as well.

 

[Lursa]

I never did either until it happened to me... the problem compounds when you have kids, move a couple of times, the woman blames others for why she is (parents) the way she is and that she is getting better, etc. etc. etc. Lots ot things get into it. Times of love and apparent self-improvement only to be trampled later... it is a strange psychological world. Sure, I could have left long before but the "grass is greener" if we move over there honey... I mean, I did get out after just 5 years so it is not like some that stay for so long...

Same as the men crying, 'but I can change! I promise!' Not sure many ever do.

Sorry you had to go through that.

 

[OrphanSlug]

No. It needs some time where we CLEARLY define that women do it too... the Courts and Judges and Cops are very sexist about it still and until that balances out there will be no balance. I understand what you are saying but it has to balance first and right now, while it is not as bad as 20 years ago... it is still really ****ing bad. I was just talking to a couple of dads today, as a matter of fact, about how screwed over they were by their ex's and I thought damn, and I thought I have it bad. No, until the Courts stop being blatantly sexist we need to SHOUT about HOW ABUSIVE WOMEN CAN BEE TOO...

The problem with that path is there is no way off of it. Once we outline law by sex we inevitably create more imbalance in law (on top of what already exists.)

 

[ALiberalModerate]

From what I can find, at least 40% of domestic abuse is suffered by men on average.

That is true. However, the physical violence suffered by women from men tends to be much, much more severe. You don't see too many men getting beat within an inch of their life (or beat to death) by women.

 

[matchlight]

Small boys and very old and infirm men should be protected if they are being abused by women. Otherwise, the very idea is an insult to males and another symptom of the leftist project to infantilize people, create a society of victims, and obliterate all distinction between the sexes. Any man who can't put an end to abuse by a woman is not worth a damn. What do you imagine men are--so many toddlers who need their government to hold their hands?

 

[TheGoverness]

Small boys and very old and infirm men should be protected if they are being abused by women. Otherwise, the very idea is an insult to males and another symptom of the leftist project to infantilize people, create a society of victims, and obliterate all distinction between the sexes. Any man who can't put an end to abuse by a woman is not worth a damn. What do you imagine men are--so many toddlers who need their government to hold their hands?

So you're just blaming the victim, then.

Not every man is a Hulk incarnate.

 

[Henrin]

Small boys and very old and infirm men should be protected if they are being abused by women. Otherwise, the very idea is an insult to males and another symptom of the leftist project to infantilize people, create a society of victims, and obliterate all distinction between the sexes. Any man who can't put an end to abuse by a woman is not worth a damn. What do you imagine men are--so many toddlers who need their government to hold their hands?

There is nothing wrong with punishing women for hitting men. It doesn't make men look weak or anything like that, but just holds women accountable for their actions.

 

[matchlight]

Hurr surf men tough women weak

Good to see you once again showing the thoughtful analysis we have come to expect from your posts.

 

[Henrin]

So you're just blaming the victim, then.

Not every man is a Hulk incarnate.

Again, that isn't even needed to the most part. Even men that are smaller will weigh more than their female counterparts of the same height and they likely will outweigh women that are several inches taller than them. Most couples are not going to be ones where the woman is taller, stronger or weighs more than the man. There is a few different reasons for this that range from attraction patterns in people to basic biology, but it simply not the case that the man generally has to be the hulk to be able to handle himself against a woman in a relationship. Of course, there are some strong women out there these days, but even in the general population the vast majority of smaller men will be able to handle themselves against the majority of the female population.

 

[matchlight]

There is nothing wrong with punishing women for hitting men. It doesn't make men look weak or anything like that, but just holds women accountable for their actions.

Our laws have provided for females to be punished for criminally assaulting or battering males for a very long time. I have never heard of a state assault or battery law that applied only where the assailant was male, and any law which did that would likely be unconstitutional.

 

[matchlight]

Again, that isn't even needed to the most part. Even men that are smaller will weigh more than their female counterparts of the same height and they likely will outweigh women that are several inches taller than them. Most couples are not going to be ones where the woman is taller, stronger or weighs more than the man. There is a few different reasons for this that range from attraction patterns in people to basic biology, but it simply not the case that the man generally has to be the hulk to be able to handle himself against a woman in a relationship. Of course, there are some strong women out there these days, but even in the general population the vast majority of smaller men will be able to handle themselves against the majority of the female population.

That's why men got the size, the bigger dose of testosterone, the broad shoulders, and the big muscles. We're biologically specialized for strength and fighting. A lady I once knew used to say that if she were ever trapped in a building that was on fire, she didn't want to have to rely on some petite woman to get her out of there; she wanted it to be a big, strong MAN.

 

[SCitizen]

I never did either until it happened to me... the problem compounds when you have kids, move a couple of times, the woman blames others for why she is (parents) the way she is and that she is getting better, etc. etc. etc. Lots ot things get into it.

Yeah, those were my ex's two favorite ones. She would throw pans when I was not looking. She was alwo a terrible freaking aim so they would fly past me and break her things often, or things she liked, like pictures, plants, etc...

Thank you very much for sharing -- I have never experienced anything like that. I have never been physically abused.

The most I have experienced is psychological control -- almost all of my life decisions were made by my parents. That is much much milder, but it still did great damage.

 

[Bodi]

Spousal abuse.
And how did it make you feel?

It was funny... non-stop comedy gold. :lol:

 

[Bodi]

In both cases that's mostly because men generally have the greater brute strength. It's only compensating with alternatives that they can use.

That was my veiled point...

 

[Bodi]

Same as the men crying, 'but I can change! I promise!' Not sure many ever do.

Sorry you had to go through that.

Sucked for me but I feel bad for my kids... the main problem now is that we have kids so I have to keep seeing her. But the kids are kinda worth the trouble...

 

[Bodi]

Thank you very much for sharing -- I have never experienced anything like that. I have never been physically abused.

The most I have experienced is psychological control -- almost all of my life decisions were made by my parents. That is much much milder, but it still did great damage.

Yeah... it sucked. I dealt with it fine, to be honest, in terms of damage to me... it was just really frustrating. Every day it would be some innane argument but it all boiled down to her not liking herself and not being able to trust anybody... people like her live such dramatic filled energy draining lives.

 

[Bodi]

The problem with that path is there is no way off of it. Once we outline law by sex we inevitably create more imbalance in law (on top of what already exists.)

That is not what I meant... the other poster was saying something about treating it all equal, that is fine legally... not in the Court of Public Opinion though... brushing the massive sexism under the rug will continue to hurt men. Adds show overwhelmingly battered women. I typed in domestic violence ads and these are the images... almost all women, a few kids and a couple of guys.

https://www.google.co.nz/search?q=d...UIBygB&biw=1600&bih=787#imgrc=SoNcKuUws7BBKM:

 

[Bodi]

Small boys and very old and infirm men should be protected if they are being abused by women. Otherwise, the very idea is an insult to males and another symptom of the leftist project to infantilize people, create a society of victims, and obliterate all distinction between the sexes. Any man who can't put an end to abuse by a woman is not worth a damn. What do you imagine men are--so many toddlers who need their government to hold their hands?

Spoken like a guy that can't see the bigger picture...

 

[Howler63]

Any man who takes an ass whipping from his wife or girlfriend, isn't much of a man.

 

[Bodi]

Our laws have provided for females to be punished for criminally assaulting or battering males for a very long time. I have never heard of a state assault or battery law that applied only where the assailant was male, and any law which did that would likely be unconstitutional.

My ex-wife attacked me in front of our kids. She knows Judo and I have taken a bunch of martial arts so it wasn't some little chick slapping at a guy it was a full blown attack. I backed up doing some blocking moves but she got in a good kick to my leg and a punch to my face. Whatever... I called the cops. They showed up and gave her a warning. I said why is she not getting arrested. They said that she was just grabbing for my phone (which I was holding a bit up by my face thinking of dialing cops just before she attacked) and I asked what would happen if I did that to her. Arrested, I was told. No question. Arrested. Her? Warning. No follow up. I had to call social services on her for physically abusing my kids twice... warning. In fact she laughed at me about it. Warning. I asked the social service person if I had done it... loss of custody and arrested. Her? Warning.

Happens to lots of guys. Lots.

Moral of the story. You don't know what the **** you are talking about.