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Should I ask this girl out?

most importantly its YOUR CHOICE and what YOU are comfortable with . .

I would never give the advice of dont do simply based on her work location alone . . its illogical UNLESS theres other factors.

If you are good with you, i dont see why not . .
now that being said there have been TWO girls in my life time that asked me out that I worked with that I MIGHT have gone out with if they didnt work with me . . but guess what . . again my decision was based on THEM . . they didnt quite seem trustworthy to NOT be a drama queen. They didnt seem mature enough to handle that so I declined.

Its the people involved NOT the location.

If you truly like the girl ask her out . . . you like her enough to ask for advice so i say that counts . . its not just some thing piggish and lame like "aw man she got a hot ass" . . you really like her . . she does somethign for you . . .never waste that ;)

Yeah, I don't think she's that promiscuous and not for a want of opportunity. Her looks afford her that much. And promiscuity, jealousy, and cheating is the #1 source of drama in this type of relationship. The "hey, you're cute, hey you're fun to be around, hey let's agree to see more of each other." type relationship. I would say money is the #1 source of drama in a higher level relationship, more of a "hey, we are choosing to become life partners". But, that's not where either of us are at in our lives.
 
It's only a nightmare for immature unprofessional people. A large part of professional life is keeping your personal life out of the office. It's really not that hard, given maturity and a professional attitude.

I don't think that's a very fair comment Chomsky. Relationship breakdowns can and do impact mature and professional people. It is incredibly difficult to front up to work daily and have to come into frequent contact with the person who has called it all off. Generally when relationships break down and people seperate, they don't spend all day or all night in the same enviroment. Emotions can run pretty raw in the initial stages especially.
 
But you're the case that proves me right.

Nothing proves you right. No one should live their life running away from what they want.
 
Nothing proves you right. No one should live their life running away from what they want.

Oh, please. Stop pretending a life long relationship just happens because someone meets "the perfect person". That's naive crap. Relationships are built over time with hard work. They don't just get handed to someone because they hit the relationship lottery. "She might be the one" is pathetically naive.

What, you never met "the right one"? Maybe you missed her? Haha. Try working at it and being honest in a relationship (oh, and try respecting women).
 
I don't think that's a very fair comment Chomsky. Relationship breakdowns can and do impact mature and professional people. It is incredibly difficult to front up to work daily and have to come into frequent contact with the person who has called it all off. Generally when relationships break down and people seperate, they don't spend all day or all night in the same enviroment. Emotions can run pretty raw in the initial stages especially.
I'm not going to argue against the emotionality of a broken relationship. We've all been there.

But I still maintain my position. Some can handle it, some can't. I got my then g/f a job at my place of work where I interacted pretty closely with her, and she eventually became my wife. We both dealt with it. I've seen break-ups and even two divorces occur at places I worked at. They're never happy things, but they were handled professionally. Stuff happens. I see no need to stay-out of life or on the sidelines of life, worrying about possible problems.

So I see no problem with these twenty-somethings going on a date.
 
I don't think that's a very fair comment Chomsky. Relationship breakdowns can and do impact mature and professional people. It is incredibly difficult to front up to work daily and have to come into frequent contact with the person who has called it all off. Generally when relationships break down and people seperate, they don't spend all day or all night in the same enviroment. Emotions can run pretty raw in the initial stages especially.

I agree with your statment 100% and I don't think anybody is disagreeing with what YOU wrote.
impact mature and professional people.
Yep that can happen
It is incredibly difficult to front up to work daily and have to come into frequent contact with the person who has called it all off.
Yep that can happen too
Emotions can run pretty raw in the initial stages especially.
Yep I agree there too

But my question would be what in those cases gets a professional "fired" and "to lose their references" and "to ALWAYS work out horrible wrong" has was claimed simply buy it being a work relationship?

I guess what Im getting at is I would still relate that to PEOPLE and not the relationship . . .take you for example. I have told you I think you are a good person and I do believe that.

If you had your dream man at work and you were engaged etc etc on top of the world and totally head over heals in love BUT it turned out he was really a jerk . .he was cheating on you and maybe worse he is cheating on you with ANOTHER coworker . .

Now that would be DEVASTATING i imagine . . total gut punch, world rocking event I wouldn't wish on anybody . . especially cause now, like you said, you gotta go to work and see them together and all you want to do is jedi mind trick her, or him, or both of them into walking into the trash compactor . . .

Yes that would suck and it may cause a mature person to break down but again I blame the cheater not the relationship . . . that same relationship not at work could also make a person break down and do somethign wrong at work. It went awful cause he was a two timing doucher not cause it was a work relationship.

Can there be extra risk at work? of course . .is it a guaranteed disaster . . of course not. Fairy-tails have started the same way as nightmares , at work :)
(I know YOU didnt claim that im just pointing out what was being argued against, i dont think Chomsky meant it a s a blanket statment)
hopefully that made sense ;)
 
I'm not going to argue against the emotionality of a broken relationship. We've all been there.

But I still maintain my position. Some can handle it, some can't. I got my then g/f a job at my place of work where I interacted pretty closely with her, and she eventually became my wife. We both dealt with it. I've seen break-ups and even two divorces occur at places I worked at. They're never happy things, but they were handled professionally. Stuff happens. I see no need to stay-out of life or on the sidelines of life, worrying about possible problems.

So I see no problem with these twenty-somethings going on a date.

I'm not suggesting they shouldn't go out on a date, that's up to them to figure out. I just disagree that someone not handling a relationship breakdown well initially, means that person is not mature or professional.
 
My advice to Winston is to send her a picture of your junk.
 
Oh, please. Stop pretending a life long relationship just happens because someone meets "the perfect person". That's naive crap. Relationships are built over time with hard work. They don't just get handed to someone because they hit the relationship lottery. "She might be the one" is pathetically naive.

Where in the hell did I say different? :lol:
 
Where in the hell did I say different? :lol:

"She might be the one!"

*snicker*

So naive. Like people hit the relationship lottery.
 
Go away already.

There is no "the one". There is only hard work, understanding, honesty and respect.

But you think it's a matter of finding "the one". haha
 
There is no "the one". There is only hard work, understanding, honesty and respect.

But you think it's a matter of finding "the one". haha

Go away.
 
Keep searching for "the one". Don't worry about the stuff that actually makes a life long relationship.

If you keep responding to me I'm going to consider it harassment. Go away.
 
If you keep responding to me I'm going to consider it harassment. Go away.

Oh noes! haha

Good luck finding "the one". Make sure you turn over every rock.
 
Oh noes! haha

Good luck finding "the one". Make sure you turn over every rock.

What is humorous about this is that you're attacking me on a premise that I didn't make while failing to understand that premise. You should take a moment and learn about the beliefs of people that believe in the concept of the one before you continue to speak of it.
 
You're being a dick dude, let it go.

Should I quote you, tell you to go away and then cry when you reply? I'll be a dick when I want.
 
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Oh noes! haha

Good luck finding "the one". Make sure you turn over every rock.

Seems you have some issues from past relationships and you taking it out on random people on the internet. I hope one day you can find "the one". Maybe not in the Disney sense of the word, but perhaps the one that you want to be with for the rest of your time on Earth, if that is your sort of thing.
 
Yeah, I don't think she's that promiscuous and not for a want of opportunity. Her looks afford her that much. And promiscuity, jealousy, and cheating is the #1 source of drama in this type of relationship. The "hey, you're cute, hey you're fun to be around, hey let's agree to see more of each other." type relationship. I would say money is the #1 source of drama in a higher level relationship, more of a "hey, we are choosing to become life partners". But, that's not where either of us are at in our lives.

What a strange thread. The rabble is arguing amongst itself and doesn't seem to care about you anymore.

I say this: ask the chick out now. Don't wait. If you like her, ask her out. This "go slow" business is a turn-off for a lot of women.

Then - talk about it. If it turns out you like each other and you want to keep seeing each other, ask her "how would you like to handle the work thing".

You'll find out a lot about her, by the way she answers.

Now - I'll tell you a little story. When I was 35, I got a new job and there was a pornstar-hot 29-year-old marketing type down the hall, and we started doing exactly what you said, going out after work and having a beer, just casually chatting and getting to know each other. Well, one thing led to another and we spent the weekend together, and somehow Monday morning everyone knew about it. To make matters worse, there was a guy (another co-worker) who though he had prior dibs on her for some reason, and so there was contention and discussion and "oh excuse me, let me take a little time off work for personal reasons" and all the rest - the kind of stuff the boss has "no choice" but to handle somehow.

So, my attitude going in was, I wanted the chick more than I wanted the job. I was ready to drop the job for the chick, and that's exactly what happened. However at the time jobs were a dime a dozen, and that may no longer be the case. I "quickly" got another job and ended up stealing the woman in question away from our former boss. And she became a valuable asset and partner at the new place.

The thing is though, it "could have" gone the other way. She "could have" dropped me like a rock a month after I gave up my job for her, and then I "could not" have hired her away and brought her on board the new place. It's a risk, you're taking a chance, so that should factor into your thinking.

But if you're 29 and single and you spot a hot chick, yeah, definitely go for it. Jobs come, jobs go, but good women are worth their weight in gold. (Watch out for the psychopaths though, that bit about "you're the best" should probably set off some alarm bells if you've only known her for two weeks).
 
Little back story, I started a new job, I've been there about 2 months. Right away, I noticed this stunning girl who works there. My first few weeks there, she would always stick around afterwards and drink beer with another coworker, while I was finishing up for the night. So, we would naturally end up talking and getting to know each other. All just light casual stuff. What do you like to do for fun? Where are you from? How old are you? Stuff like that. I thought at first, that she was dating the guy, she hung around with. Or, at least that they had a physical relationship, a couple times a week. Well, turns out that's not the case. Even though, I'm not totally convinced there isn't mutual attraction between them.

Anyway, eventually we added each other on facebook, and have talked on there a little bit. She's really responsive to my messages, and has shown equal interest in me, as I have in her. But, I've just been a friend to her. I can't recall ever hitting on her, at all. One night we were just talking about what kind of cookies we like, and she said her favorite was choc. chip. And I said, "I make the best choc. chip." Well, she disputed that, and said she could make better. So, I challenged her to a bake-off. I was trained by a pastry chef, so, I knew I could make some pretty damn good cookies, but, she was pretty confident hers were better. Maybe she was just in it for the sport of it. But, we brought the cookies in, and most everyone said mine were better. I sensed that her feelings were kind of hurt, so, instead of acting like an ass, I told her that her cookies were great and to not listen to the haters. And I told her, I really appreciated her baking them for everyone, and that we should have another challenge sometime with another item.

That was last week, and since then, I've kind of laid off talking to her as much as I had been. I did talk to her today for a little while, and I told her she was fun to work with. She told me I was "the best". And I was kind of dumbfounded, so I just said, "Thank you."

She has shown interest in me, but, since we work together, I've been taking it real slow, with revealing any sort of physical attraction, or, desire for a relationship. Since we will see each other basically all summer long, there is too much to lose by giving into temptation. So, I think once school starts back up, if there is still a spark there, I will ask her out. But, what do you think? Maybe just ask her what her days off are, and if she would go to the park and have lunch together?

I say you should just go for it.

Side note, but I am actually a product of this situation in a way; my parents first met each other working for the same software company.
 
My advice, which is absolutely golden, is to live your life and keep your goals firmly in focus. If this girl eventually fits into them, great. Asking this girl out to dinner or whatever is not a declaration of any particular thing except that you may enjoy her company. I gather you're not wedded to this job, but you should keep in mind that losing it over a relationship with another employee is not a resume enhancing thing.
 
Little back story, I started a new job, I've been there about 2 months. Right away, I noticed this stunning girl who works there. My first few weeks there, she would always stick around afterwards and drink beer with another coworker, while I was finishing up for the night. So, we would naturally end up talking and getting to know each other. All just light casual stuff. What do you like to do for fun? Where are you from? How old are you? Stuff like that. I thought at first, that she was dating the guy, she hung around with. Or, at least that they had a physical relationship, a couple times a week. Well, turns out that's not the case. Even though, I'm not totally convinced there isn't mutual attraction between them.

Anyway, eventually we added each other on facebook, and have talked on there a little bit. She's really responsive to my messages, and has shown equal interest in me, as I have in her. But, I've just been a friend to her. I can't recall ever hitting on her, at all. One night we were just talking about what kind of cookies we like, and she said her favorite was choc. chip. And I said, "I make the best choc. chip." Well, she disputed that, and said she could make better. So, I challenged her to a bake-off. I was trained by a pastry chef, so, I knew I could make some pretty damn good cookies, but, she was pretty confident hers were better. Maybe she was just in it for the sport of it. But, we brought the cookies in, and most everyone said mine were better. I sensed that her feelings were kind of hurt, so, instead of acting like an ass, I told her that her cookies were great and to not listen to the haters. And I told her, I really appreciated her baking them for everyone, and that we should have another challenge sometime with another item.

That was last week, and since then, I've kind of laid off talking to her as much as I had been. I did talk to her today for a little while, and I told her she was fun to work with. She told me I was "the best". And I was kind of dumbfounded, so I just said, "Thank you."

She has shown interest in me, but, since we work together, I've been taking it real slow, with revealing any sort of physical attraction, or, desire for a relationship. Since we will see each other basically all summer long, there is too much to lose by giving into temptation. So, I think once school starts back up, if there is still a spark there, I will ask her out. But, what do you think? Maybe just ask her what her days off are, and if she would go to the park and have lunch together?

My 2 cents....

There's a level of risk getting involved with a co-worker.

However, you mentioned the word "stunning". How often does that happen?

The risk might be the best reward ever.

Also - much would depend on your longer term intentions for working at this one specific company.
Not planning on being there for years...go for the girl.
Planning to work there until you retire at 68 years old, perhaps not go for it. (but that might depend on her long term career path too)

I'd change employers for the chance to possibly start a relationship with somebody I found "stunning".
 
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