Burning Giraffe
Active member
- Joined
- May 9, 2009
- Messages
- 357
- Reaction score
- 121
- Location
- Burgaw, NC
- Gender
- Male
- Political Leaning
- Libertarian
President Obama has had to stomach a mass of criticism over the British Petroleum oil spill. Some of it deserved, but most of it undeserved. The fact is, there are few things the imperial federal government can actually do during such disasters. Yes, the President could have continued chemical dispersions deeper in the Gulf. Yes, the President could have given Louisiana the resources its' Governor was asking for, immediately. Yes, the President could have ordered the immediate burn which was slated to be the federal governments response in the event of a blowout of an oil rig at sea.
However, the President cannot make the oil go away. The federal government doesn't have the knowledge to deal with a technical problem of this size and scope. Remember, the government is comprised of government workers. If any of these people were leaders in their fields, they would be working in the private sector. It is irrational to believe that the Government is the kind of organization capable of acting competently, efficiently, or quickly. So, for the most part, let's cut the President some slack.
That said, Democrats are clearly worried about the perception that Obama might just be as inept at running the federal bureaucracy as was President George W. Bush. In order to address this perception, many Democrats have articulated to the President that he needs to be much more of an asshole. The official asshole policy looks something like this:
Step One: Harass British Petroleum with waves of lawyers. Step Two: Try to Blame the oil spill on President Bush. Step Three: Repeatedly bash the CEO of BP. Step Four: Declare that Oil is Evil and promise to one day defeat it.
Being an Asshole is a very difficult strategy to implement. See, if you know what you are talking about and you really understand the ins and outs of an issue, then when you address that issue you come off sounding confidant and decisive. In order to be an Asshole you have to speak notwithstanding the facts. In other words, reality isn't relevant. All that matters is perception-creation, blame, and the appearance of righteous indignation. You see, for politicians (and most assholes in general), battles are won or lost depending upon who musters up the most righteous indignation first.
President Obama is a bit late to the party, but his Asshole Strategy is finally on target.
That's right Mr. President. You need to figure out whose ass to kick. You can't help, you can't be constructive, but you can kick ass. You're like Chuck Norris and James Bond combined!
Mr. President, you have definitely distinguished yourself by refusing to use the same numbers as BP. If they say there is a million gallons of oil in Gulf, you'll say two million. If BP says 100 billion, you'll say 100 trillion. If BP says 100 trillion, you'll say one hundred million billion trillion gazillion times infinity! Because that's just the type of asshole you are. We must now wait to find out whether or not the Presidents' "Asshole Strategy" is working. I'm sure MSNBC will have a poll here in a few days to measure the Asshole In Chief's effectiveness, which I imagine will be significant. Americans have no clue what's going on in the world, unless Charlie Sheen or the Desperate Housewives make some mention of recent events in one of their episodes. All they need to know is that the oil spill sucks and that the President is being an asshole about it. Now they can sleep at night, knowing that all is right in the world.
However, the President cannot make the oil go away. The federal government doesn't have the knowledge to deal with a technical problem of this size and scope. Remember, the government is comprised of government workers. If any of these people were leaders in their fields, they would be working in the private sector. It is irrational to believe that the Government is the kind of organization capable of acting competently, efficiently, or quickly. So, for the most part, let's cut the President some slack.
That said, Democrats are clearly worried about the perception that Obama might just be as inept at running the federal bureaucracy as was President George W. Bush. In order to address this perception, many Democrats have articulated to the President that he needs to be much more of an asshole. The official asshole policy looks something like this:
Step One: Harass British Petroleum with waves of lawyers. Step Two: Try to Blame the oil spill on President Bush. Step Three: Repeatedly bash the CEO of BP. Step Four: Declare that Oil is Evil and promise to one day defeat it.
Being an Asshole is a very difficult strategy to implement. See, if you know what you are talking about and you really understand the ins and outs of an issue, then when you address that issue you come off sounding confidant and decisive. In order to be an Asshole you have to speak notwithstanding the facts. In other words, reality isn't relevant. All that matters is perception-creation, blame, and the appearance of righteous indignation. You see, for politicians (and most assholes in general), battles are won or lost depending upon who musters up the most righteous indignation first.
President Obama is a bit late to the party, but his Asshole Strategy is finally on target.
That's right Mr. President. You need to figure out whose ass to kick. You can't help, you can't be constructive, but you can kick ass. You're like Chuck Norris and James Bond combined!
Mr. President, you have definitely distinguished yourself by refusing to use the same numbers as BP. If they say there is a million gallons of oil in Gulf, you'll say two million. If BP says 100 billion, you'll say 100 trillion. If BP says 100 trillion, you'll say one hundred million billion trillion gazillion times infinity! Because that's just the type of asshole you are. We must now wait to find out whether or not the Presidents' "Asshole Strategy" is working. I'm sure MSNBC will have a poll here in a few days to measure the Asshole In Chief's effectiveness, which I imagine will be significant. Americans have no clue what's going on in the world, unless Charlie Sheen or the Desperate Housewives make some mention of recent events in one of their episodes. All they need to know is that the oil spill sucks and that the President is being an asshole about it. Now they can sleep at night, knowing that all is right in the world.