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Political correctness is the position of being excessively careful not to offend any group of people in society who are believed to have a disadvantage. So, in this definition, it's definitely associated with public pressure to limit freedom of expression to an uncommonly high standard. The problems begin to arise when the public opinion and standard, don't meet with realistic expectations, and where the punishment is overly severe because of group self righteousness.
PC is more about appearances and phony hypocrisy than about reality.
I don't agree with your last sentence (though it's true in some cases) but I do agree with a lot of your first paragraph. Criticizing others for what they say has gone overboard in some cases. There's nothing people like more than to clutch their pearls and fall on the couch.
Of course, if it's something Democrats believe should be criticized it's considered being "PC" but there's a lot of pearl clutching and feinting that goes on the right....but of course the right would never call the political correctness.
The fact is...everybody to some extent believes in society policing language.