T
The Real McCoy
This one's for you, Finn.
Noam Chomsky really sucks. To steal a page from the book of teacher, Noam Chomsky sucks hard. Websters should have two pictures next to it's definition of suck, one being a map of France and the other a picture of Noam Chomsky. Noam sucks more and harder than Jenna Jameson. If suck was measured in sand, Chomsky would be the Sahara. If they gave out awards for sucking, his trophy room would be bigger than a Wal Mart supercenter. If sucking was measured in strands of black hair, Noam would be the continent of Asia. He'd be a Boeing assembly plant if suckiness was measured in cubic footage. If Noam Chomsky were ever cloned, the universe would collapse in on itself under the sheer force of suckiness. I mean, I've seen people suck before but he's one of the suckiest sucks that ever sucked.
Why does Noam Chomsky suck so much and so hard? Where to begin...
I could go on (and on and on) about the hypocracy and outrageous double standards of Noam Chomsky but I'm too damn tired.
What bothers me is how pervasive and influential he still is. His books are read at college campuses accross the nation. According to Humanities, Noam Chomsky ranks among the top ten most cited sources (along with Shakespeare and the Holy Bible) and is the number one most cited living source. One of the greatest leftist thinkers of our time? If so, I want absolutely no association with whatever the left wing is these days.
Noam Chomsky really sucks. To steal a page from the book of teacher, Noam Chomsky sucks hard. Websters should have two pictures next to it's definition of suck, one being a map of France and the other a picture of Noam Chomsky. Noam sucks more and harder than Jenna Jameson. If suck was measured in sand, Chomsky would be the Sahara. If they gave out awards for sucking, his trophy room would be bigger than a Wal Mart supercenter. If sucking was measured in strands of black hair, Noam would be the continent of Asia. He'd be a Boeing assembly plant if suckiness was measured in cubic footage. If Noam Chomsky were ever cloned, the universe would collapse in on itself under the sheer force of suckiness. I mean, I've seen people suck before but he's one of the suckiest sucks that ever sucked.
Why does Noam Chomsky suck so much and so hard? Where to begin...
- He's called capitalism a "grotesque catastrophe" and a system "crafted to induce hopelessness, resignation and despair." Charges $12,000 each to college campuses for his speeches on the evils of capitalism.
- He used to charge a mere $9,000 for his speeches but after 9/11 and the U.S. invasion of Afghanistan, he upped the price tag to $12,000 for his rants on war profiteering.
- Mr. Anti-capitalist who believes corporations are "private tyranies" and that they are just as totalitarian as Bolshevism and fascism" ironically is invested in the TIAA-CREF stock fund. He's got his money soundly banked in oil companies, military contractors, pharmaceuticals, et al.
- Uses terms like "us" versus "them" (them includes the top ten per cent while us is the other ninety per cent) He enjoies spending time with "unemployed, working class, activists of one kind or another" This self described admirer of the Black Panthers says intellectuals must combat all forms of racism and complains that America "excludes" blacks from large parts of the country This hasn't stopped him from moving into an $850,000 home in the affluent, lily-white suburb of Lexington, Massachusetts. Also owns a home valued at over $1.2 million in Wellfleet, Massachusetts (1% black population.)
- He regularly criticizes the "massive use of tax havens to shift the burden to the general population and away from the rich", lashes out against trusts and is an advocate of the estate tax
With the help of a tax attorney at the Palmer and Dodge law firm specializing in "income-tax planning", he set up an irrevocable trust to protect his assets (the Diane Chomsky Irrevocable Trust). Apparently he believes that this wonderful wealth redistribution idea shouldn't apply to him.
- Claims private property rights are a tool of the rich and of no benefit to ordinary people (the warning on his website says "Material on this site is copyrighted by Noam Chomsky and/or Noam Chomsky and his collaborators. No material on this site may be reprinted or posted on other web sites without written permission." Evidently his $2 million plus in real estate, his boat for sailing along Cape Cod and countless other luxuries don't fall under the category of private property in Noam's eyes.
- Chomsky declares America is a racist and sexist society... says women live in a condition of "slave labor" and there is a "system of oppression" against women. (straight from Chomsky's Class Warfare) At the linguistics department he created at MIT he personally hired the staff and faculty. A quick look at his tenure shows the hirees were almost exclusively white males while the support staff was almost entirely female. This even led to a "mini-uprising" among femenist grad students in the 1980s.
- Chomsky portrays himself as a champion of free speech and sees the United States as a totalitarian society. He believes there is no free press in a capitalist society.
In 1970, Noam went to the Tanh Hoa province of North Vietnam which he later described as a workers paradise. Somehow, he missed the total lack of free speech in communist Vietnam, something he has absolutely no record of criticizing. Why would he? It's not the United States.
In his book, At War with Asia, Chomsky in his typical knee-jerk anti-American way discredits everything the United States does and discounts both it's official statements and the statements of it's independent press as "propaganda" yet mentions not one word on the status of south east Asian dissidents, the lack of a free press, the fate of political prisoners or the policy of oppression.
- Chomsky went to Cuba in October 2003 where he gave a speech in front of an audience including Fidel Castro. He later made an appearance on the state run Radio Havana. Did the champion of free speech talk about the jailing of thousands anti-communist Cubans including poets and librarians? Of course not. Instead, he appeased the masses with some good old America bashing, Chomsky style.
- Guess who "picked up where the Nazis left off" after World War 2 according to Noam Chomsky. The Soviet Union? Bzzzz. The correct answer is the United States (from page 18 of his book What Uncle Sam Really Wants)
- Pol Pot wasn't such a bad guy either in Noam-land. "The 'slaughter' by the Khmer Rouge is a [Robert] Moss-New York Times creation." quoted from a June 25, 1977 article in The Nation by Noam Chomsky and Edward Herman. He later retracted this claim but maintained that most of the Cambodian genocide resulted from U.S. aggression
- According to Chomsky, the 9/11 attacks were nothing compared with Clinton's 1998 bombing in Sudan which resulted in "tens of thousands of immediate Sudanese victims" (p.54 of Noam Chomsky's book: 9-11) He cites an analysis suggesting that, in proportion to the U.S. and Sudanese populations, the attack on Sudan would be as if bin Laden had killed more than 100,000 Americans (from page 50 of 9-11)
No humanitarian organization reported any such thing after the air raid. There is no proof whatsoever of even ten deaths, let alone tens of thousands. In a 2002 interview with salon.com, he bases his claim on "estimates made by the German Embassy in Sudan and Human Rights Watch." Not only does Human Rights Watch deny it made any such claim, it never even investigated the matter. His other source, the German Embassy turns out to only be Wener Daum, the German ambassador to Sudan at the time. Daum never actually conducted an investigation into the matter and merely gave (what he calimed to be a "reasonable guess") the totally unsubstantiated number of "tens of thousands."
- Chomsky repeatedly referred to a "silent genocide" with regards to the American campaign against the Taliban in Afghanistan. He's right, it sure was silent. So silent that nobody even told the victims (girls finally permitted to attend school, homosexuals no longer facing execution and women allowed to freely walk the streets sans facial masking.) According to Chomsky, the US and it's allies were "trying to murder 3 or 4 million people." He's also repeatedly forecasted "millions" of deaths in Afghanistan as a result of U.S. policies. While the actual death toll is uncertain, the low end estimate put forth by the Associated Press counted 500 to 600 civilian deaths and the high end estimate made by a University of New Hampshire economist put the number between 3,100 and 3,800. Chomsky's prediction was slightly off.
Does Noam even care about the Afghanis. He sure didn't when the U.S. wasn't involved. Nary a word was peeped by Chomsky regarding the five years of fighting the resulted in the Taliban's rise to power which resulted in 50,000 deaths in the capital city of Kabul (as opposed to the 70 civilian deaths in Kabul during the Taliban's ousting) but as soon as the U.S. stepped in, the wrath of Noam Chomsky came, sure as the sunrise.
I could go on (and on and on) about the hypocracy and outrageous double standards of Noam Chomsky but I'm too damn tired.
What bothers me is how pervasive and influential he still is. His books are read at college campuses accross the nation. According to Humanities, Noam Chomsky ranks among the top ten most cited sources (along with Shakespeare and the Holy Bible) and is the number one most cited living source. One of the greatest leftist thinkers of our time? If so, I want absolutely no association with whatever the left wing is these days.
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