Ladies.... A Little Consistancy if You Please

[Gardener]

I got dumped this morning.

Looks like she had just the tiniest little smidgeon of self esteem after all.

 

[ecofarm]

I think we'd probably seriously disagree on what a "decent" life is, eco. It doesn't have anything to do with finances or things like that. It has to do with the way one interacts with society, and for those of us who have more traditional ways of viewing society it is not very easy anymore.

You think I'm interested in finances? You think I'm an economics-first guy? I'm doing independent research in Africa. I could be raking in the bucks from my grad degree and doing my dissertation under a multi-national NGO, living in posh quarters and geting paid in the process. No dude. I'm kingdom first.

All of your BS about "tradition, order and routine" is just that. You see, you've got it backwards. All that BS is nothing more than a rationalization and even justification of your disgusting and criminal behavior. It is not that those things drive you to behave like an animal, it's that behaving like an animal leads you to seek excuses for that behavior. You go as far as to even pervert the very values that you claim to have. For example: you think chivalry is a two-way street. WTF is that. No dude, chivalry is a one-way street... from the privileged and powerful to the underprivileged and dis-empowered. It is really a basic and simple form of feminism (in recognizing the humanity and value of women). There is nothing in chivalry that demands one PUNISH women who do not behave to your liking. That is your own invention, your own delusion and your own squirming in the crime you find yourself committing. In fact, a truly 'old-fashioned' man would NEVER strike a woman. You choose to cherry-pick the worst part of 'old-fashioned' and highlight the monsters of our past (which are not the common thing you pretend them to be) in order to build your case for woman-beating. Now, here's the (sadly) ironic part. You think that those "beliefs" (which are actually just excuses) make you MORE moral and ethical than the average person. Hah! The average person can manage to live a life without sexual battery and public humiliation as a form of discipline for their partner. A good tree does not bear bad fruit and a bad tree does not bear good fruit. Your tree bears rotton, poisonous fruit and no amount of "well, I do it because I'm such a stand-up guy" is going to change that.

 

[justabubba]

Probably, bubba.


The whole thread is now pointless. I got dumped this morning. She had a stressful week last week and right through yesterday. I was informed this morning that she is no longer interested in trying with anything in her life, including US. So I'm back to being single and unattached for the holidays (and probably the rest of my life).

find a friend
BE a friend
and if it turns into something more, then great

the point is, seek out friends, not romance

 

[Tigger]

Looks like she had just the tiniest little smidgeon of self esteem after all.

Apparently not. I got a phone call about half an hour ago telling me that she wanted to get back together and that she'd made a hasty and not well thought out decision earlier when she made the comment.

You think I'm interested in finances? You think I'm an economics-first guy? I'm doing independent research in Africa. I could be raking in the bucks from my grad degree and doing my dissertation under a multi-national NGO, living in posh quarters and geting paid in the process. No dude. I'm kingdom first.

Then what you are is a FOOL.

All of your BS about "tradition, order and routine" is just that. You see, you've got it backwards. All that BS is nothing more than a rationalization and even justification of your disgusting and criminal behavior. It is not that those things drive you to behave like an animal, it's that behaving like an animal leads you to seek excuses for that behavior. You go as far as to even pervert the very values that you claim to have. For example: you think chivalry is a two-way street. WTF is that. No dude, chivalry is a one-way street... from the privileged and powerful to the underprivileged and dis-empowered. It is really a basic and simple form of feminism (in recognizing the humanity and value of women). There is nothing in chivalry that demands one PUNISH women who do not behave to your liking. That is your own invention, your own delusion and your own squirming in the crime you find yourself committing. In fact, a truly 'old-fashioned' man would NEVER strike a woman. You choose to cherry-pick the worst part of 'old-fashioned' and highlight the monsters of our past (which are not the common thing you pretend them to be) in order to build your case for woman-beating. Now, here's the (sadly) ironic part. You think that those "beliefs" (which are actually just excuses) make you MORE moral and ethical than the average person. Hah! The average person can manage to live a life without sexual battery and public humiliation as a form of discipline for their partner. A good tree does not bear bad fruit and a bad tree does not bear good fruit. Your tree bears rotton, poisonous fruit and no amount of "well, I do it because I'm such a stand-up guy" is going to change that.

Then we really have no basis for any conversation do we? Welcome to the Ignore List.

find a friend. BE a friend. and if it turns into something more, then great. the point is, seek out friends, not romance

Been down that road before. It leads nowhere. I've got enough friends, or both sexes. I'm now looking for a long-term, committed relationship. Nothing less.

 

[justabubba]

Apparently not. I got a phone call about half an hour ago telling me that she wanted to get back together and that she'd made a hasty and not well thought out decision earlier when she made the comment.

make up sex!
often the best kind

Then what you are is a FOOL.

will let someone else deal with that foolish comment

Then we really have no basis for any conversation do we? Welcome to the Ignore List.

your choice, but wouldn't it be easier to stick your fingers in your ears while reading his posts out loud

Been down that road before. It leads nowhere. I've got enough friends, or both sexes. I'm now looking for a long-term, committed relationship. Nothing less.

that is a telling comment. you don't want a significant other who is also your friend
there are trained pros out there who can help. both will charge a fee. one is legal

 

[00timh]

Tigger, don't bother looking for a succesful LTR. You will never find one. It will find you when you are ready for one, and by the sounds of things, you aren't ready for one yet.

 

[Tigger]

make up sex! often the best kind

Wouldn't know. In the past I would have just told her to go blow at the first sign of a rough spot. I'm kind of fond of this one, so she's getting a second chance. Oh, and we've only been going out for about two months so there hasn't been ANY sex (makeup or otherwise) yet.

that is a telling comment. you don't want a significant other who is also your friend. there are trained pros out there who can help. both will charge a fee. one is legal

Never said I didn't want one who was a friend; just that I'm looking for someone who is seeking a long-term, committed relationship, not a casual dating thing or just a friendship.

 

[Tigger]

Tigger, don't bother looking for a succesful LTR. You will never find one. It will find you when you are ready for one, and by the sounds of things, you aren't ready for one yet.

If I'm not now, then I never will be and it would be pointless to even consider getting involved in another one if this one doesn't work out. I don't go out socially very much, so I'm not likely to just "bump into" someone. If I'm not actively looking there's no chance that I'll find anyone.

 

[Gardener]

Apparently not. I got a phone call about half an hour ago telling me that she wanted to get back together and that she'd made a hasty and not well thought out decision earlier when she made the comment.

She needs counseling, then. She has serious issues with self esteem that need to be addressed.

She was probably abused as a child, either emotionally, sexually or both and is recreating past patterns of behavior.

 

[00timh]

If I'm not now, then I never will be and it would be pointless to even consider getting involved in another one if this one doesn't work out. I don't go out socially very much, so I'm not likely to just "bump into" someone. If I'm not actively looking there's no chance that I'll find anyone.

The point I am making is that good succesful LTR's evolve naturally. YOu nor she can create one. Just because you don't go out much doesn't mean you aren't able to meet people. Hell it could happen in the strangest of places. grocery stores, pumping gas, through work (avoid the co-worker thing though) Just chill and let women be women. I m telling you it will find you.

 

[justabubba]

She needs counseling, then. She has serious issues with self esteem that need to be addressed.

She was probably abused as a child, either emotionally, sexually or both and is recreating past patterns of behavior.

very strong conclusion to make knowing so little about this woman
could she not be a selfless nurturer who is seeking out someone who could benefit from her companionship
the type of woman who takes in strays

maybe she had to take some time out to decide for herself whether she could continue in a sexless relationship

don't think this gal is the 'typical' woman ... whatever that might be

 

[justabubba]

The point I am making is that good succesful LTR's evolve naturally. YOu nor she can create one. Just because you don't go out much doesn't mean you aren't able to meet people. Hell it could happen in the strangest of places. grocery stores, pumping gas, through work (avoid the co-worker thing though) Just chill and let women be women. I m telling you it will find you.

wise words


likely to be ignored

 

[ecofarm]

The point I am making is that good succesful LTR's evolve naturally. YOu nor she can create one. Just because you don't go out much doesn't mean you aren't able to meet people. Hell it could happen in the strangest of places. grocery stores, pumping gas, through work (avoid the co-worker thing though) Just chill and let women be women. I m telling you it will find you.

Dude, he admits to beating women for "discipline", committing sexual assault and publically humiliating his partner. He's a predator and the woman is obviously disturbed.

WHY would anyone be encouraging him?!

 

[Tigger]

The point I am making is that good succesful LTR's evolve naturally. YOu nor she can create one. Just because you don't go out much doesn't mean you aren't able to meet people. Hell it could happen in the strangest of places. grocery stores, pumping gas, through work (avoid the co-worker thing though) Just chill and let women be women. I m telling you it will find you.

Yes, they do grow (not evolve), naturally. I say grow instead because they need to be nurtured and taken care of. They don't just randomly occur. The number of people that I meet and actually interact with on a weekly basis is really pretty small. I'm not the sort of person to just strike up a conversation with someone at the gas pump, in the store, or on the treadmill at the gym. Never really have been. I'm the youngest person in my department at work, and it's an all-male crew so that's not going to happen.

very strong conclusion to make knowing so little about this woman. could she not be a selfless nurturer who is seeking out someone who could benefit from her companionship. the type of woman who takes in strays

maybe she had to take some time out to decide for herself whether she could continue in a sexless relationship

don't think this gal is the 'typical' woman ... whatever that might be

She's a 41 year old mother of five who is essentially unemployed and trying to recover from a broken foot that left her incapacitated for about three months. We're both a little "unusual" and have both been hurt in the past, so we're taking it a little slow at this point.

 

[00timh]

Dude, he admits to beating women for "discipline", committing sexual assault and publically humiliating his partner. He's a predator and the woman is obviously disturbed.

WHY would anyone be encouraging him?!

Seriously?? I haven't read that (haven't looked) Tigger for real you are beating your girl for discipline?? If so then disregard any of my advice, which you are anyway since it is meant for real men.

 

[Tigger]

Seriously?? I haven't read that (haven't looked) Tigger for real you are beating your girl for discipline?? If so then disregard any of my advice, which you are anyway since it is meant for real men.

The current one has not yet required anything of that nature, but it has been necessary with a couple in the past.

 

[00timh]

The current one has not yet required anything of that nature, but it has been necessary with a couple in the past.

lol, you are in some real strange universe then. Perhaps Sharia law agrees with you?? Oh just out of curiosity.... If you get out of line then I suppose you should get beatings for discipline as well then??

 

[Tigger]

lol, you are in some real strange universe then. Perhaps Sharia law agrees with you??

It agrees with me much more than what we currently have in this country.

Oh just out of curiosity.... If you get out of line then I suppose you should get beatings for discipline as well then??

That's what the police are for, definitely.

 

[justabubba]

Dude, he admits to beating women for "discipline",

i believe you are referring to his acknowledgment of spanking the ass of a woman who displeased him
he was probably raised that way. would not be surprised if his father/mother/mother's significant other did the same
it's a cycle. those who were raised by a parent who used corporal punishment tend to also be those who engage in it
my Mom did. my Dad did not. i learned from my Dad and broke the cycle. love myMom but realize she was misguided. so, i can see where tigger would come to believe that such corporal punishment is OK. not that it is. but neither do i believe he is incapable to learning not to behave so ignorantly

committing sexual assault

missed the sexual assault. what are you referring to

and publically humiliating his partner.

i assume again that you are referring to the spanking he acknowledged inflicting
to you and me and most others, that appears to be an aberrant act ... but not to someone who was brought up to accept that as part and parcel of daily living. i am guessing that is tigger's circumstance

He's a predator

he may be surprising and unconventional, but nothing suggests that he is a predator
we see that his current girl friend has had second thoughts about leaving their relationship
that means she is interacting with him of her own free will. how does that make him a predator

and the woman is obviously disturbed.

i have seen you repeatedly hold yourself out to be a scientist. you certainly jumped to a strong conclusion in a VERY unscientific manner

WHY would anyone be encouraging him?!

encourage him to interact in society
you find this wrong for what reason ... please apply what you have learned as a scientist when responding to that inquiry

 

[Tigger]

i believe you are referring to his acknowledgment of spanking the ass of a woman who displeased him. he was probably raised that way. would not be surprised if his father/mother/mother's significant other did the same
it's a cycle. those who were raised by a parent who used corporal punishment tend to also be those who engage in it
my Mom did. my Dad did not. i learned from my Dad and broke the cycle. love myMom but realize she was misguided. so, i can see where tigger would come to believe that such corporal punishment is OK. not that it is. but neither do i believe he is incapable to learning not to behave so ignorantly

The biggest issue eco has is that this was inflicted upon her in the back of a parking lot, bent over the trunk of my automobile where she could have been seen. She'd been spanked by me a couple times previously, in less public environments.

I received corporal punishment from both parents and my grandparents when necessary. It was the only form of correction which would have worked with me. Other forms of discipline were completely and utterly useless in my case, and in general so far as I'm concerned.

 

[00timh]

I agree with you bubba that he was raised in or around those kinds of beliefs. And... I would be willing to help him or anyone get a grip on society if they are willing to want that help. I don't think Tigger is there yet. unfortunately he is likely to encounter a lot more dissapointment and frustration before and IF he ever starts to realize he is wrong.

 

[Gina]

The biggest issue eco has is that this was inflicted upon her in the back of a parking lot, bent over the trunk of my automobile where she could have been seen. She'd been spanked by me a couple times previously, in less public environments.

Eco can speak for himself, but for me, no, my biggest issue is not with the public venue but with the fact you battered her and felt you had the right to do so.

 

[00timh]

The biggest issue eco has is that this was inflicted upon her in the back of a parking lot, bent over the trunk of my automobile where she could have been seen. She'd been spanked by me a couple times previously, in less public environments.

I received corporal punishment from both parents and my grandparents when necessary. It was the only form of correction which would have worked with me. Other forms of discipline were completely and utterly useless in my case, and in general so far as I'm concerned.

I hate to say this Tigger, but she was probably hoping to be inflicted with something else shortly afterword and I am assuming you dissapointed her in that regard. Any woman who sticks around for beatings in a weird odd way likes it.... but also has some severe self esteem issues. You only made those even worse when that is all you do because then there isn't even a sexual thing for it all. Welcome to the real world bud.

 

[Tigger]

I agree with you bubba that he was raised in or around those kinds of beliefs. And... I would be willing to help him or anyone get a grip on society if they are willing to want that help. I don't think Tigger is there yet. unfortunately he is likely to encounter a lot more dissapointment and frustration before and IF he ever starts to realize he is wrong.

Never been there, not there, and not likely to ever be there (realizing I'm wrong on this or any other issue).

 

[X Factor]

The current one has not yet required anything of that nature, but it has been necessary with a couple in the past.

It's not up to you to decide another adult deserves physical punishment.