Is this good parenting?

[Fearandloathing]

Is this good parenting?

Va. father forces son to run to school for three days for being a bully

Va. father forces son to run to school for three days for being a bully | KGAN

Well, it's one way to get a kid's attention.

However, with local examples having the son apologize publicly is more effective.

For me, there is a sense of shame in this punishment, where a restorative approach is all win, it sets an example for other potential bullies and it's a lesson, I am told, that changes perspective. Bullies are usually insecure, by building self esteem though an apology he can move past his insecurities.

Here, a campaign was begun about ten years ago where all in support of ending bullying wears a pink shirt in honor of a child who committed suicide after being teased for wearing a pink shirt. It was advanced some when some parents approved making their bully kids where a pink shirt for a week or two from which they presumably will learn what it's like to be singled out for criticism.

 

[ecofarm]

Why not? Lessons that leave a sting are lessons that are never forgotten. It will teach all the things you wanted to teach them in a much more effective way. Now, I'm not a huge Facebook person and don't go in for posting all that stuff on social media but using humility is just another tool in the toolbox to draw from.

Not using humility. Using humility to teach a lesson is great; I wish I could do that more often. Using humiliation. How is that different than bullying?

 

[ttwtt78640]

Do we not, as parents, have the job to teach kids what they should, and should not be doing? Should we teach the kid to not bully, by bullying? Should we teach the kid not to drink and drive while we have one for the road, nestled between our legs? Should we teach the kid not to lie, or cheat, while we cheat on our taxes?

No. We have the responsibility to teach our kids what is right and what is wrong. I hate to overuse this, but two wrongs definitely do not make a right.

What better way is there to teach public humiliation than by example?

 

[Fishking]

So it's OK for the dad to bully the kid, to teach him to not bully others?

Hogwash. Parents are supposed to lead by example.

That's silly. Parents are in charge of their kids. We are not on equal footing with them. I tell my kids to go to their room if they need to. I take their electronics away if I want to. I make them do chores. Using your ideology that would make me some kind of tyrant. Sorry...it's called parenting and making your kids uncomfortable, if that's what is needed, to teach them the lessons they need to learn.

 

[Superfly]

That public humiliation hurts, which is what makes bullying so bad.

So does beating a child with a belt. Doesn't make it right.

If a kid beats the piss out of another kid at school, the parents shouldn't beat the piss out of the kid when he gets home.

What will that solve?

 

[ttwtt78640]

Not using humility. Using humility to teach a lesson is great. I wish I could do that more often. Using humiliation. How is that different than bullying?

It is not, that is the point - to show, rather than simply tell, the bully how it feels to be on the other end.

 

[ecofarm]

What better way is there to teach public humiliation than by example?

"Son, yer a doin' it wrong. I'll show ya, hold mah beer."

 

[Superfly]

How proud he must be. Loving the attention. It's no longer about his sons behaviour, it's all about him. No parent should have taken things this far. Who in their right mind voluntarily exposes their son and opens him up to that sort of internet discussion. For years to come, his name, pictures and this incident will be accessible to anyone using a simple google search.

Disgraceful.

He KNEW it, too. He knew it would happen. It was probably all planned, and his kid has to suffer for it.

Bastard. Somebody ought to make his bubbly ass run back and forth to work, because he bullied his kid.

 

[ecofarm]

It is not, that is the point - to show, rather than simply tell, the bully how it feels to be on the other end.

Everyone has felt like crap before; a bully knows what he's doing. It merely reinforces the belief that bullying is an effective communication method.

 

[ttwtt78640]

So does beating a child with a belt. Doesn't make it right.

If a kid beats the piss out of another kid at school, the parents shouldn't beat the piss out of the kid when he gets home.

What will that solve?

Nope, beating them only teaches them about physical pain which even a moron already knows.

 

[Superfly]

What better way is there to teach public humiliation than by example?

I could think of many. No TV. No video games. No cell phone. There are many ways to punish a child that has nothing to do with shaming. I would never do that to a child. Kids have too much to put up with now as it is, and now we have assholes putting their punishment out for the world to see.

So the bully has now become the bullied.

Great.

 

[Superfly]

Nope, beating them only teaches them about physical pain which even a moron already knows.

There are other kinds of pain than physical. This is ****ing kids up. Before, when I was a kid, my mom would beat my ass and be done with it. There was no way to publicly humiliate kids back then. Today, it's all over the place.

I feel sorry for this kid. The dad could have, and should have, handled this differently.

 

[ttwtt78640]

Everyone has felt like crap before; a bully knows what he's doing. It merely reinforces the belief that bullying is an effective communication method.

If that is the case then simply explaining it again obviously would not prevent it.

 

[ecofarm]

So the bully has now become the bullied.

Great.

The kid is still a bully. The acceptability of the behavior has been demonstrated. The effectiveness has been demonstrated. The only important thing now is to do unto others before they do unto you.

No understanding of why bullying is harmful to everyone. Merely a green light to use it.

 

[ecofarm]

If that is the case then simply explaining it again obviously would not prevent it.

Any bully has been bullied before. They don't invent the behavior. So it can't be something new.

I'll give you one guess where the kid learned to be a bully.

 

[mike2810]

Good job in teaching the kid a lesson.

I remember in high school (mid 60's) we had a PE teacher who caught two male students fighting. He broke up the fight. Hauled them to the gym. Gave them boxing gloves and headgear. He had them fight till they couldn't anymore. Let them shower, gave them a pass to cover the absent from class. Those two never got in fights with anyone from that day forward. I knew one of the students that had to fight.

Of course I know by todays standards the action by the PE teacher would be frowned upon. I personally think it was pretty effective.

 

[Hari Seldon]

Is this good parenting?

Va. father forces son to run to school for three days for being a bully

Va. father forces son to run to school for three days for being a bully | KGAN

Only a mile and they followed him. I have no issues.

 

[Hari Seldon]

Is this good parenting?

Va. father forces son to run to school for three days for being a bully

Va. father forces son to run to school for three days for being a bully | KGAN

You didn't vote?

 

[ecofarm]

You didn't vote?

Everyone agrees getting himself to and from school in a timely manner for 3 days is okay.

Most object to facebook shaming (bullying) a kid.

 

[Fishking]

Not using humility. Using humility to teach a lesson is great; I wish I could do that more often. Using humiliation. How is that different than bullying?

Yes, humiliation, thank you. The difference is that you're teaching them a lesson in an effort to modify their behavior in a positive way. You, as the parent, aren't doing it out of spitefulness, pleasure, cruelty, ect....all the hallmarks of what bullying actually is.

Not knowing the distinction is like not knowing the difference between murder and homicide for self-defense.

 

[ecofarm]

What if the lesson of getting himself to school for 3 days was not responsibility and appreciation but... so his friends would see him and point.

 

[Hari Seldon]

Everyone agrees getting himself to and from school in a timely manner for 3 days is okay.

Most object to facebook shaming (bullying) a kid.

Eh, he's 10. A little taste of what he was dishing out. But I see your point. Probably shouldn't have put it on facebook. Would have made a nice human interest story in the paper back in the day. Man I feel old.

 

[ecofarm]

Yes, humiliation, thank you. The difference is that you're teaching them a lesson in an effort to modify their behavior in a positive way. You, as the parent, aren't doing it out of spitefulness, pleasure, cruelty, ect....all the hallmarks of what bullying actually is.

Parents can't be those things?

 

[OrphanSlug]

Voted no, which puts me in the minority. The main reason is the story does not really tell us what the bully learned. Punishment, yes... but what did this kid really take away from the punishment?

 

[Daisy]

5th grader Hayden Thornhill admits he was acting out when he was suspended from the school bus for three days.

"I was yelling, being really obnoxious, jumping from seat to seat.," said Hayden Thornhill.

Hayden couldn't ride the bus, but his father says a ride in their truck or on his bike would be a treat for him; so Hayden had to run to school.

"I was like I've gotta fix this, I have to do something, be proactive," said Bryan Thornhill.

"I thought it was going to be horrible when I started the run I was like oh this isn't too bad," Hayden said.

Bryan Thornhill uses social media often and decided to share Hayden's punishment on Facebook Live.

"What made this different is because it wasn't for the sport. It wasn't to race dad. It was because I lost my privilege. If you don't put gas in our car you walk. you made a mistake," Thornhill said.

What has Hayden learned from his punishment?

"It might be fun being hyper, but after that it's not going to be fun, because you have to pay the price."

Now what about the millions of views of his punishment?

"I didn't think that many people would care that much," Hayden said.

There have been people who agree and disagree with Bryan Thornhill's parenting style; but he stands by the tough love.

"Its called parenting not parented, there is an 'ing it's an action, you keep going with it. It's an everyday process," he said.

Roanoke man forces son to run to school in the rain for bullying