Is Depression Selfish?

[imagep]

Bingo. I've actually discovered three MAJOR cures for depression. They blow SSRIs and cognitive therapies out of the water. You wanna know what they are?

1) Starting a new romantic relationship
2) Getting a new job
3) Coming into a large amount of money

The reason these three things are so curative of depression is that some of the major precipitants to depression are being lonely/feeling unloveable, and being economically impotent/feeling worthless to others, and being/feeling unable to even take care of yourself. There are exceptions, but these are major major themes.

Can the doc give me a script for those, and if so, will the pharmacy fill it?

 

[lizzie]

Can the doc give me a script for those, and if so, will the pharmacy fill it?

Hehe! :mrgreen:

The thing that stands out about those three "cures" is that they all depend on external forces. I am a firm believer that the problem is internal, and must be dealt with at that level.

 

[Daktoria]

The interior dialogue is something like "I failed." "No one loves me." "I can't make a difference".

Is this depression...or selfishness?

Isn't depression an emotion, not an attitude?

The thing I don't really like about psychology is people can act, and if you have an honest person and a dishonest person caught up in the same circumstance, the dishonest person can make the honest person look crazy.

I dealt with this all the time growing up. Psychopathic jerks would make fun of me non-stop until there was an incident, and then when we got questioned in a principal's or dean's office, they'd act well behaved and I'd get in trouble. I was the one referred to psychologists when they were the ones with the problem. The psychologists would say nothing's wrong with me, and the cycle would repeat.

People treat thoughtfulness as sociopathic despite how civilization depends on thinking. I don't understand how civilization even exists. It's like the whole thing is based on enslaving thinkers to invent things. If thinkers refuse, we risk being abused by people who can play dumb and hide behind plausible deniability.

On top of that, if you have a crazy authority in psychological power (which I had plenty of times) psychopath A can ping-pong thinkers with psychopath B, never letting thinkers have peace of mind.

 

[imagep]

Isn't depression an emotion, not an attitude?

I don't know that I would call it an emotion either.

The thing I don't really like about psychology is people can act, and if you have an honest person and a dishonest person caught up in the same circumstance, the dishonest person can make the honest person look crazy.

I dealt with this all the time growing up. Psychopathic jerks would make fun of me non-stop until there was an incident, and then when we got questioned in a principal's or dean's office, they'd act well behaved and I'd get in trouble. I was the one referred to psychologists when they were the ones with the problem. The psychologists would say nothing's wrong with me, and the cycle would repeat.

I'm glad to know that I am not the only one who has been through something like that.

People treat thoughtfulness as sociopathic despite how civilization depends on thinking.

Yup. You can do something nice for someone and then get accused of doing something wrong because people can't imagine that you did something nice just to do something nice. Or you can suggest something that you think would improve the world, and get attacked for being "selfish". Even on this forum I have seen some people who I suspect (from knowing what college they attended what degree they got and what their occupation is) are secretly in the 1% sugest something slightly liberal and then get accused of being jealous of the 1%.

 

[Neomalthusian]

Can the doc give me a script for those, and if so, will the pharmacy fill it?

Not in this country.

 

[Wake]

There is nothing selfish about depression. I'd like to see a compelling reasson why it should be. Knowing people who have been depressed, I am sure they weren't selfish.

 

[Pinkie]

There is nothing selfish about depression. I'd like to see a compelling reasson why it should be. Knowing people who have been depressed, I am sure they weren't selfish.

If you had read the whole thread, you'd see the word "selfish" was not meant as a character flaw/claim of malingering/etc. It was meant -- by me -- to suggest there is something unique about depression that other "mental" illnesses do not share.

 

[Wake]

If you had read the whole thread, you'd see the word "selfish" was not meant as a character flaw/claim of malingering/etc. It was meant -- by me -- to suggest there is something unique about depression that other "mental" illnesses do not share.

Oh. Interesting. What do you mean by something unique?

 

[lizzie]

There is nothing selfish about depression. I'd like to see a compelling reasson why it should be. Knowing people who have been depressed, I am sure they weren't selfish.

Self-focused may have been a better term, and this does seem to be pretty common, but it's a phenomenon that is really pretty difficult to not fall into. Depression makes the world seem like a very small place.

 

[Uzidoesit]

This thread is unbelievably lacking in any kind of enligtenment. The next thing we are going to read is that wearing a garlic bag around your neck makes diseases go away. It only makes people go away. Likewise, when people were ignorant of science and medicine, did they lack the insight into what mental illness/health is about. How ignorant to think mental illness or health is a product of selfishness or anything else that isn't part of the autonomic nervous system, which is totally not in the control of the owner.

 

[Wake]

Self-focused may have been a better term, and this does seem to be pretty common, but it's a phenomenon that is really pretty difficult to not fall into. Depression makes the world seem like a very small place.

I don't see it, tbh. Have you experienced depression? I have. Others I know have. There is nothing selfish about it. If a person takes their own life from depression...

...are you going to call them selfish? Having experienced it myself, I won't.

This thread is unbelievably lacking in any kind of enligtenment. The next thing we are going to read is that wearing a garlic bag a
around your neck makes diseases go away. It only makes people go away. Likewise, when people were ignorant of science and medicine, did they lack the insight into what mental illness/health is about. How ignorant to think mental illness or health is a product of selfishness or anything else that isn't part of the autonomic nervous system, which is totally not in the control of the owner.

I have no reason to analyze/pick this post apart.

 

[lizzie]

I don't see it, tbh. Have you experienced depression? I have. Others I know have. There is nothing selfish about it. If a person takes their own life from depression...

...are you going to call them selfish? Having experienced it myself, I won't.



I have no reason to analyze/pick this post apart.

Yes, I have. Quite serious depression, off and on for 12 years of my life.

 

[Wake]

Yes, I have. Quite serious depression, off and on for 12 years of my life.

I don't see how it's selfish. I've experienced it quite a few times as well. To me it's not self-focus but feelings of despair and hopelessness.

 

[lizzie]

I don't see how it's selfish. I've experienced it quite a few times as well. To me it's not self-focus but feelings of despair and hopelessness.

I didn't say it is selfish. I said it seems to be an issue of self-focus. When you are in a really deep depression, the world around you becomes very small. It's a dark and scary/ lonesome place. It's the kind of head-space that makes you want to withdraw and heal yourself somehow, because it's such misery. The world is going right on without you, but you don't feel like you're a part of it.

 

[Wake]

I didn't say it is selfish. I said it seems to be an issue of self-focus. When you are in a really deep depression, the world around you becomes very small. It's a dark and scary/ lonesome place.

Oh ok. I guess I can see that a bit. I just hope people can differentiate between self-focus and selfishness. Depression sucks badly, especially when it becomes suicidal.

 

[lizzie]

Depression sucks badly, especially when it becomes suicidal.

Yes, I know this quite intimately.

 

[Wake]

Yes, I know this quite intimately.

Sunlight helps. With ADD, the mind is constantly thinking and you can't make it stop. Comine that with immense boredom and a desire for exciting things that you can't currently obtain, and you end up with a volatile mixture for depression. Sharpening my mind here and exercising/reading/working out helps tremendously.

 

[Daktoria]

Sunlight helps. With ADD, the mind is constantly thinking and you can't make it stop. Comine that with immense boredom and a desire for exciting things that you can't currently obtain, and you end up with a volatile mixture for depression. Sharpening my mind here and exercising/reading/working out helps tremendously.

The problem with this approach is it turns the coping mechanism into a vicious cycle. Predators can claim they're entitled to take advantage of you because you're still recharging yourself.

It's like you're recharging your own batteries, and then someone else is recharging one's batteries from yours (theoretically forever).

 

[Daktoria]

If you had read the whole thread, you'd see the word "selfish" was not meant as a character flaw/claim of malingering/etc. It was meant -- by me -- to suggest there is something unique about depression that other "mental" illnesses do not share.

This seems to depend on the individual.

Some depressed people are spoiled.

Others are genuinely alienated.

(To be fair, Pink, I have gotten the impression that you're a bit selfish in the past, but...

...you're not as selfish as others, and I'm not sure if that selfishness is really the foundation of who you are. Some people behave selfishly out of embarrassment to demonstrate toughness.

To be safe though, some people behave selfishly to act cute.

You have to push emotions aside and ask yourself, "What am I really missing?")

 

[Wake]

The problem with this approach is it turns the coping mechanism into a vicious cycle. Predators can claim they're entitled to take advantage of you because you're still recharging yourself.

It's like you're recharging your own batteries, and then someone else is recharging one's batteries from yours (theoretically forever).

How so?

I do things like debate here or bake/garden to feel happy and dispel some of the depression. Should I not find a safe hobby that makes me happy in order to lift some of the weight of depression?

 

[Daktoria]

How so?

I do things like debate here or bake/garden to feel happy and dispel some of the depression. Should I not find a safe hobby that makes me happy in order to lift some of the weight of depression?

I agree that hobbies are valuable and effective.

The question is about social alienation. Some people are depressed because they don't know how to fit in, and jerks and idiots are constantly pushing them out.

Hobbies let you cope with this, but the alienation doesn't stop, and this affliction isn't something in our control.

 

[jambalaya]

Having had depression, no, it isn't selfish.

You spend every day wishing you didn't constantly feel like you've got a rain cloud over your head, wishing you didn't constantly second guess and dismiss yourself, wishing that your family were free of your worthlessness. It's a disease. You have to treat it.

The rain cloud is a good analogy. I think of it as a pressure or weight. I can feel it in my head. I wish there was some kind of relief valve I could plug into my head so I could release the pressure. There is a silent unseen war going on inside to push back on the pressure to get through every day. The fight takes a lot of emotional and even physical energy from you. Giving in to the weight can lead to dispair. But you can condition yourself to deal with it to a degree. You can still have goals and achieve dreams and live a fairly normal life. I wish I could feel what it's like to enjoy it more though. I have fun. I enjoy moments and events but the enjoyment is always muted to a degree.

I don't know what causes some people to have depression to a greater degree than others. I feel lucky compared to some people I have seen. Some people have to stay dialed in properly to their medication or they crash into that can't get out of bed depression. Maybe some people are stronger and deal with it a little better.

 

[Wake]

I agree that hobbies are valuable and effective.

The question is about social alienation. Some people are depressed because they don't know how to fit in, and jerks and idiots are constantly pushing them out.

Hobbies let you cope with this, but the alienation doesn't stop, and this affliction isn't something in our control.

There are other things that can be done. You can do stuff with friends and loved ones as well.

Whenever I am depressed I call loved ones, see if they want to do things, etc. And then there's DP where I can discuss important issues to my heart's content.

 

[Daktoria]

There are other things that can be done. You can do stuff with friends and loved ones as well.

Whenever I am depressed I call loved ones, see if they want to do things, etc. And then there's DP where I can discuss important issues to my heart's content.

Some people don't have many people to call or hang out with. They get alienated from time zero and always struggle with finding companionship.

Doing things can be difficult as well. Things just don't make you happy enough to participate. I find this happens the most when it's hard to get lost in the moment.

Getting lost in the moment is usually hard when feeling insecure. Sometimes, it's fear of things going wrong in the activity itself. Other times, it's knowing you have some responsibility to do, and it doesn't matter how far into the future that responsibility is.

 

[Wake]

Well, I know what helps during the periods I have depression, and they do work, imo. :shrug:

Whether it's working it out using a punching bag, going to the movies with friends, or growing a rare plant, it helps.