FinnMacCool said:
My belief in atheism has nothing to do with my belief in science. It more has to do with the fact that I find it completely stupid that there is some allmighty God up there who controls everything.
As a Christian I completely agree with each of your words.
So, what is the difference between you and me, if I came to the same conclusion once and I still stand on it with all my heart?
The difference is that you stopped thinking at this point, because you realized that such thought immediately put you in the category of atheists, and you feel comfortable over there.
I kept on doubting myself. You remember my wish to you was– doubt everything, including me and including yourself. Please.
Let me you give a simplified example of me doubting myself:
I found your statement is truth. So, what should I think? Should I think that I am in control of everything? I would love to think so. It is such a pleasant thought, that I must stop right there. But I am not satisfied with such answer. I know I am in control of everything. Often I cannot control even myself.
So, maybe an accident or absurd (means no control), is in control? Well, it may be not such a bad thought for somebody, but it’s quite stupid for me. What is the difference between God and an accident for me personally? Both are stupid. Actually, for me, accident and absurd are a hair more humiliating. Makes me feel like a piece of shi-t floating on waves. I just don’t like to have no control. So, looking at others: should I go to the Church, sing, shout, get exalted, get high and get some feeling of control, - I shall ask and He will give? Sunday – dance - shout – ask- receive- happy -works? Works for millions. But it normally happens once week, what am I going to do on other days? I mean, - once a week I can as well smoke some pot and get high and exalted and happy. Friday – liquor store – party - drunk – happy? What is the difference? And here another question comes: whom should I shout to, - Allah, Christ, Buddha, almighty Zeus? What is the tribe I should dance with around the fire? What is the difference?
Everything is stupid and none of the above satisfies my questions. I am not in control (which the most important for me), almighty Zeus is not, accident is not, there is no control; and the right and the easiest thing to do is just to shake off all these thoughts, and be – what do they call it – an atheist, just live and - whatever, a lot of things are stupid in these world, but I am smart enough to understand that. I don’t even know, why I was thinking about such things. Why do you?
But I continued to doubt my decision and found for myself, that one God was very sympathetic to our statement “” it is completely stupid that there is some almighty God up there who controls everything””. He knew we could not accept such situation. So, he did not forget to say just one phrase, which answered all the questions. I just had missed the phrase – only now it looks so obvious to me, that I cannot believe I missed it. How can I not to love my God who can answer such questions with just one phrase?
I my occupation I have to use laws of science; and in the same way like your atheism does not have anything to do to science; my Faith has nothing to do to science neither. You’re telling me and I am accepting that a human does not exist only in one dimension of science; we are a quite multidimensional thing. Away from my occupation, I have doubted a lot of things in my life. I don’t deny that, because He gave me so many answers to so many furious questions, I find myself completely addicted to His book. It works for me. Whatever works for you is your belief.
Another example is your statement “On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.” It sounds beautiful and true. But don’t you think, you have to give a definition of “good” and “bad”, some point from which you would measure good and not too good. You can see: what is good for you may not be so good for me, and may mean nothing for somebody else, and somebody falls in between. There should some very short definition, which would be the least bothering to all of us, since we all form a system of human existence and survival. Am I talking about 10 Commandments here, or this is you, who are talking about them? Are you still going to find a book which would offer a shorter and better solution? Keep on looking, there is nothing wrong, many people have been looking for thousands of years. I just don’t have thousands years, to reinvent my own bycicle.