Internet relationships

[Enola]

I was on my usual surfing spree on the net and stumbled upon this question which i thought interesting, so I brought it here for your debating pleasure.

Do you make friends on the internet? If so, do you consider them the same as friends in your real life, or do you make some boundaries? Do you email privately, chat, call? Do you limit it to those that you feel a connection or close with, or does anyone at all qualify?
I pose this question because I've always been very careful with people I meet on boards, etc.. and I take a long time to get to know the person before I develop a trust, so I am quite astounded when I see others who divulge all sorts of info immediately, or call every Tom, Dick and Harry they interact with.
Do you think it's crazy or not?

 

[tessaesque]

I have friends from online. I don't talk often on the phone with them because I hate being on the phone. I trust 'em as much or more than my IRL friends, which are just as few as my online friends.

 

[MaggieD]

I was on my usual surfing spree on the net and stumbled upon this question which i thought interesting, so I brought it here for your debating pleasure.

I would never interact in real life with internet acquaintances. That's not to say I don't care about people I interact with on the internet...this board as an example...but I'd never transition those friendships into offline in-real-life relationships. I mean, really, do we know who's behind the curtain? The answer is, "No, we don't." I'm a firm believer in "the less complications the better." Keeping my online friends as online friends seems very uncomplicated to me.

 

[Enola]

I have a very good friend that I met online, but we have never spoken on the phone to jabber. We email the heck out of each other though, lol. I have met her twice but the last time I laid physical eyes on her was over 5 years ago. But know as much about her as she knows about me. It took 10 years to get to that point, though.
I pm folks, am friendly, but I don't give personal contact info and I would never talk on the phone to anyone I met because I, too, hate talking on the phone.
I don't email people either, unless I've known them some time.....like at least 2 years of continual exchanges on the board where I met them. I learned the hard way that those that seem normal and sane...aren't.

 

[Medusa]

in fact ,even if I can't trust everybody on the internet , I would like to see them in real life and maybe I could understand how they are real..

 

[tessaesque]

FWIW, I met my boyfriend online. We e-mailed back and forth for three weeks before meeting and we're going on 4 years with no betrayals or harm.

My best friend is also somebody I met online. He's very, very dear to me and I trust him unendingly.

 

[Enola]

I had an online friendship with a gal that was strong and trusting for 2 years. I trusted her explicitly. But then she got mad at me for some reason and the board we hung out on together, she made "new" friends. That day, she was upset with me and I honestly don't know why, but she then commenced to tell everyone on that board very private things I shared with her. Personal things. I had met her once, prior. We spent the day shopping and swimming and just having a good time...her and her kids, me and my RL friend and my husband. She posted on that board that my husband was creepy, that he flirted with her all during the visit and that he and I were trailor trash.

I gotta admit, reading what she was posting was like a stab in my heart. That hurt. I sobbed as I read it, and couldn't actually believe the downright lies I was reading. That is when I realized that people aren't what they seem. Especially online. It takes years to make a true friend. Online? That is harder to do. But I learned from it. Never again, I told myself. And I meant it.

 

[lizzie]

I've never met anyone in real life that I know from online. There's just a couple of them that I would even consider, and like you guys, I detest phone-talk. I keep a tracphone just in case there's an emergency, or to send texts on occasion, but I'm an in-person sort, or an online sort. I've given my email addie to a couple of women friends, but that's about it.

 

[Cephus]

I have lots of online friends and I talk to them all the time. I consider them as much friends as anyone I know offline. One friend, when her husband got abusive, I jumped on a plane, flew up to Portland, packed up a trailer and drove her and her son back to my house, put them up for a couple of months until she could get back on her feet. I found her a job too. I'd do just about anything for my friends.

 

[herenow1]

For me, there would have to be years of discussing topics back and forth and I'd have to have some sort of common connection/bond to call them a 'friend'. I have been a member of one particular board for 7 yrs. When a ''regular'' is going through a hard time or is sick, we rally around that 'friend' whether it be regular pm's emails, calls, etc. Then there are other forums I have been a part of for say 2-4 yrs (such as this one) and have made no connections or a sense of closeness with anyone. It may have something to do with how often I post or engage, but I frequent about 3-4 sites on a regular basis but the only site I look forward to conversing with my 'friends' is the one(member for 7yrs) I mentioned earlier.

 

[herenow1]

I have lots of online friends and I talk to them all the time. I consider them as much friends as anyone I know offline. One friend, when her husband got abusive, I jumped on a plane, flew up to Portland, packed up a trailer and drove her and her son back to my house, put them up for a couple of months until she could get back on her feet. I found her a job too. I'd do just about anything for my friends.

I met up with someone online once and that was about 7 yrs ago(not from the previous site i mentioned earlier). The only reason we met up is b/c we were in the same state. Both of our hubbies were military and we just had a lot in common and shared the same beliefs. I invited her family ove for lunch and we enjoyed ourselves. It was strange to bring the internet into my home but it was cool in a way. TBH I couldn't honestly say that we would be best buddies, or even hang out on the regular after meeting her IRL, but at least our get together wasn't creepy/weird or anything. We lost touch and I haven't heard from her in yrs. I often think about her.

 

[radcen]

Good topic.

I have IFs (internet friends) and RLFs ([so-called] real life friends). I say "so-called" because I think society is gravitating toward the internet being "real life" as well. The lines of distinction are getting to be less and less as time goes by. To be honest, I think the degree that the internet has become part of our "real lives" is deeper than most people are aware. Having said that, the integration is not 100%, and there is generally still something of a difference between my IFs and my RLFs. Because I am a bit socially awkward I probably have more IFs, though my fewer RLFs tend to be more long lasting and deeper, if that makes sense.

I have met a few IFs, and most of them ended up being just acquaintances. The major exception being my wife. We met online, and were friends for several years online only, before we met in person. We did not meet thru a dating site.

The dynamics of an internet friendship can be different, too. In some ways you can be a little more honest because you don't know them personally. I think IFs do inded fill a legitimate need in our lives, but a slightly different need than RLFs.

 

[radcen]

I had an online friendship with a gal that was strong and trusting for 2 years. I trusted her explicitly. But then she got mad at me for some reason and the board we hung out on together, she made "new" friends. That day, she was upset with me and I honestly don't know why, but she then commenced to tell everyone on that board very private things I shared with her. Personal things. I had met her once, prior. We spent the day shopping and swimming and just having a good time...her and her kids, me and my RL friend and my husband. She posted on that board that my husband was creepy, that he flirted with her all during the visit and that he and I were trailor trash.

I gotta admit, reading what she was posting was like a stab in my heart. That hurt. I sobbed as I read it, and couldn't actually believe the downright lies I was reading. That is when I realized that people aren't what they seem. Especially online. It takes years to make a true friend. Online? That is harder to do. But I learned from it. Never again, I told myself. And I meant it.

This made me sad.

 

[soccerboy22]

I consider my internet friends as real as my friends I go drinking with. When I was going through a rather difficult break up in August, I lean on both Tessy and SB about it. I treat them, pretty much everyone in chat, and people I am friends with on the site the same way. Expect for Tessy, I have to make fun of her. Oh and I am trying to e-sleep with DiAnna, Gina, and Josie.

 

[Helix]

i interact with online friends almost as much as RL friends. facebook has blurred the lines somewhat.

as for actually meeting people from a message board, i have done that, but mostly only local MB events related to music / bands. it's always interesting to see how someone matches (or is completely different from) his or her online persona.