Honest is one thing, but some "honesty" is borderline abuse. Physical threats of violence? Justifying your abuse by making excuses for your behavior? It's a little harsh. If you turned that behavior around and had the parent subjected to such "truth" from their parents, family, friends, bosses, etc...how well do you think that parent would handle it long term?
My mother was the "brutally honest" parent. She genuinely believe what she said was true, and she convinced me it was true, too. And as a result I spent 7 years (ages 7-14) thinking I was unwanted, unwelcome, fat, ugly, stupid, a slut (who'd never kissed a boy!!), etc...and also thinking my dad was a violent, abusive, evil man.
I also learned much more about my mother's private life than I ever should have known. I knew about her one night stand, her relationship with a married man, her STD test results, how often she was selling her body for drugs....all of it, in my face, 24/7.
The parent's challenge is to balance exposure to reality with compassion and care. You want to make your kids aware of how the world works, but you don't want to over expose them to abusive relationships, hurtful "truths", and age-inappropriate knowledge. Just the other night, the boyfriend and I had an emotional discussion, and I asked him, "How do you raise your kid to appreciate goodness and love while simultaneously preparing them for the people who will intentionally and joyfully hurt them?" The fact that it is sometimes the parent who ends up being that hurtful person just breaks my heart. There's a certain evil inside a parent who would find satisfaction in their child's pain or sadness.
