I could never marry someone who......

[Josie]

Ah, but you two aren't married are you?

Well, no. But if some things were different, we very well could be someday.

 

[Marilyn Monroe]

Which is exactly what I'm saying the problem is.

I'm from Northern Virginia, I've been surrounded by liberals all my life. My entire mother's side of the family is liberal (though she is not). They're all good people, or at least no less so than conservatives, and their political views are indicitive of nothing else except for their political views themselves. Ditto for conservatives. People who are only close to people they mostly agree with really ought to make an effort to change that, if only to realize that people on the other side of the political spectrum are really no different at all. Unfortunately, many would rather make an effort to do the opposite, and keep their clan within an ideological range. This makes it very easy to demonize the other side, to feel superior to them, and to act as if they must be different for having such wildly different political views.

I know, I know, they just don't see how people can believe the way cons believe for some reason. Mostly I'm fiscally conservative, and this would mean that a lot of lazy butts would have to get off the couch and find a job, any job. But when the welfare benefits are more than you can get working, who's gonna go to work? This is a problem. How can it be rectified? Quit coddling them and get strong social workers that do their jobs.

 

[Gipper]

One side thinks they're smarter than you are...the other side thinks God's smarter than you are.

There's really no give if either side is extreme. You ever try to debate an evangelical Christian? Geesh. Headache.

Conversely, there's no reason with the hyper-liberal who will swear up and down that he's right, and that no shred of evidence or proof will convince him otherwise.

It's like mixing an acid with a base.

 

[BDBoop]

Fill in the blank on your own.

Is willfully ignorant
Is closeminded
Believes they have the right to judge a woman for being sexually active, but not a man
Is conservative (see first three points)

 

[BDBoop]

I could never marry someone. Full stop.

I will never marry again. I thought that from the time I was 29 to 35, then Tim happened and we married. And we were very happy for 10 years. Sadly, we were together for 13, and have now been married 15. I can't see me ever getting married again, and it's really got nothing to do with how good or bad the one marriage was. I just don't think it's for me.

 

[BDBoop]

Hmmmmm, not one of those things would stop me. Men are very trainable.

O.O

Wow. I have the exact same reaction to that statement as I would have to "Women are very trainable."

 

[BDBoop]

There's no one size fits all. Sometimes one person is all you need and sometimes someone else comes into your life and you need them just as much. If all parties are in agreement, why should the first relationship end? Bear in mind, I would never dream of imposing this way of life on anyone who isn't comfortable with it.

It's very difficult to explain. The commitment to one or the other is still there. Love is not a finite commodity. Anyone with more than one child knows that. Heck, anyone with more than one friend knows that. I realize it's not the same kind of feeling that one has for a child or a friend vs a lover, but it is still love. Why should romantic love be more exclusive than all the other kinds of love?

Does this beg the question - is cheating okay then? Nobody gets hurt. Maybe if the wife just sort of turns a blind eye?

I think - I can't say for sure, but I think I'd rather just be on my own than share a man.

 

[BDBoop]

I don't get all these people who say they could only marry someone they didn't disagree with politically. I'm not exactly experienced in this, but marrying someone you always agreed with would just strike me as being soooo boring.

Because there's a ton of things you can talk about and disagree on that aren't religion or politics.

 

[1069]

Does this beg the question - is cheating okay then? Nobody gets hurt. Maybe if the wife just sort of turns a blind eye?

I think - I can't say for sure, but I think I'd rather just be on my own than share a man.

This is one of my concerns with these traditional, "wife stays at home" marriages: the woman doesn't really have a strong position from which to negotiate for what she wants or expects from the marriage.
It's been my experience that the one who pays the piper picks the tunes.

 

[1069]

Because there's a ton of things you can talk about and disagree on that aren't religion or politics.

There's tons you can disagree on politically even if you're both liberals/conservatives.

 

[Arcana XV]

Does this beg the question - is cheating okay then? Nobody gets hurt. Maybe if the wife just sort of turns a blind eye?

I think - I can't say for sure, but I think I'd rather just be on my own than share a man.

No, cheating is not ok. The most important ingredient in any relationship, open or exclusive, is honesty and full disclosure.

 

[BDBoop]

No, cheating is not ok. The most important ingredient in any relationship, open or exclusive, is honesty and full disclosure.

Thank you. My jury is still out. My kneejerk reaction is no, I don't share and I don't play well with others. I'm pretty sure this puts me out of ever finding myself in such a relationship. I think I'd feel betrayed, no matter who said what. Especially if I entered a relationship believing that we would 'cleave only to ... for as long as we both shall live', and then he decided he wanted to try all manner of unique and unusual options.

 

[BDBoop]

There's tons you can disagree on politically even if you're both liberals/conservatives.

This is true, too; however the posts above were sounding like you should stay open to the opposite belief system just so you'd have something to disagree about.

 

[ZGM]

Good thread.

I could never marry someone who decides in absolutes or cheats on me.

 

[BDBoop]

Good thread.

I could never marry someone who decides in absolutes or cheats on me.

I was married to both in the same package. The cheating happened 13 years in, though.

Deal-breakers, yeah; what fun.

 

[Gipper]

I don't think cheating is a deal-breaker to most. I've seen divorce rates, I've seen a percentage of people who cheat, and I've seen a percentage of people who say their divorce is the result of infidelity. Apparently most couples move past cheating...mainly due to the fact that the #1 reason given for divorce is finances.

I mean, I couldn't be with a woman who cheats on me, but I'd be willing to bet I'm the minority on that.

 

[jallman]

I couldn't marry someone who

-Had to constantly know where I am. example...treating my cell phone like a leash
-Had to constantly question who I am with
-Didn't keep things neat and orderly
-Let his body go...call me shallow, but I keep my body fit and tight and I expect the same from him
-Didn't have a healthy sex drive
-Couldn't separate love and sex
-Didn't carry their own weight financially (though I am a little more forgiving on that front)
-Was judgmental and prudish
-Wasn't independent and capable of occupying his own time when I am distracted by other pursuits

 

[Josie]

I couldn't marry someone who

-Couldn't separate love and sex

Are you planning on having an open marriage?

 

[jallman]

Are you planning on having an open marriage?

It's gone way past the point of planning.

 

[Trynce]

I don't have a criterion for whom I'd consider dating. A girl is either attractive, or she isn't. There are a multitude of factors that could lead me to be attracted to a girl. It's encoded within my DNA.

 

[jallman]

I don't have a criterion for whom I'd consider dating. A girl is either attractive, or she isn't. There are a multitude of factors that could lead me to be attracted to a girl. It's encoded within my DNA.

There's been a plethora of people I have been attracted to but wouldn't consider dating EVER.

 

[1069]

There's been a plethora of people I have been attracted to but wouldn't consider dating EVER.

But you're an extremely physically attractive individual yourself.
Not everyone gets a whole smörgåsbord of choices, you know.
Some unfortunate souls have to settle for what they can get.

 

[jallman]

But you're an extremely physically attractive individual yourself.
Not everyone gets a whole smörgåsbord of choices, you know.
Some unfortunate souls have to settle for what they can get.

I appreciate the sentiment but I am not all THAT physically attractive. I have one thing going for me when it comes to other men...I have a rockin body that I keep up with a LOT of hard work.

If people weren't distracted from my face by my torso, they would realize I look like I am sporting an extra chromosome.

 

[Trynce]

There's been a plethora of people I have been attracted to but wouldn't consider dating EVER.

That's Greek to me, but to each his own. If a girl looks like Jessica Alba or Keira Knightley, you better believe I'd date them, and they'd likely be able to get away with some personality flaws.

 

[jallman]

That's Greek to me, but to each his own. If a girl looks like Jessica Alba or Keira Knightley, you better believe I'd date them, and they'd likely be able to get away with some personality flaws.

I didn't say I wouldn't **** them. I just wouldn't date them.