Corporal punishment

[Cyrillic]

Your thoughts on how should corporal punishment law look like? Should it be allowed in school or/and at home by parents.
What do you think?

 

[Snake_Plissken]

Your thoughts on how should corporal punishment law look like? Should it be allowed in school or/and at home by parents.
What do you think?

I received a few paddlings in school and by my parents when I was young, I would like to think I turned out pretty well

Yes, It should be allowed.

 

[Sarcogito]

I voted for it should be abolished in all spheres. But I’m not certain legislation is the way to go with it quite yet. I personally think it is lazy parenting and it teaches children the wrong lesson. I say that having been spanked when I was a kid and I have spanked my own kids a few times in the past as well. I was wrong to do so. While I do think it is wrong to hit our kids I would have a serious problem with taking children away from their parents for, say, a spanking on the butt or a slap on the hand. I think such separation would be far more damaging to the child than the mild corporal punishment would.

My hope is it will just become less and less common as our culture matures. I don’t think the “I was spanked as a kid and I turned out ok” argument is a valid one.

 

[Risky Thicket]

Today there was an article today about the parents of a child who was whipped with a coat hanger, backhanded on occasion, forced to sit in scalding hot water, and her mother twisted her nipples until they bled. The little girl was 4 years old when she died.

More than any other time in my life I've encountered out of control children in public places with parents who are too lazy or too stupid or certainly too selfish to raise their own children. When we eat out we ask not to be seated near children.

Last week after returning from a flight I waited to collect my baggage at revolving carousel. Just opposite me was a mom and dad and what looked to be maybe a 4 year old little girl. The little girl was sticking her hand onto the metal carousel the revolved around empty as we all waited for our bags. Easily, easily the child could have gotten her fingers caught in a gap or had her shirt caught in the gap. She could have lost a finger or worse. Several people were watching the parents stood there not talking, but not teaching their child how dangerous such a thing could be. It lasted several minutes. Eventually a gray haired lady walked over and cautioned the parents. I didn't hear what the lady said, but the father in a raised voice said, "Well she just a little girl!" The gray haired woman said, "That is why children have parents." The mom stared harshly at the gray haired woman an pulled her child away from the carousel.

Society is full of dumbass people. Laws have to apply to everyone. Some parents don't know the limits of discipline and others don't know when to start.

 

[jamesrage]

Your thoughts on how should corporal punishment law look like? Should it be allowed in school or/and at home by parents.
What do you think?

It should be allowed at home and in school. Some kids can be threatened with groundings,standing in the corner temporary loss of toys and time outs in order to behave. Some kids require a smack on the bottom. Growing up I would have gotten into a whole lot more trouble in school if I didn't have that fear mom would whip my ass.

 

[Goshin]

Your thoughts on how should corporal punishment law look like? Should it be allowed in school or/and at home by parents.
What do you think?

Almost all children need to get their ass beat a certain number of times in order to grow up to be productive and peaceful citizens. This number varies according to the individual child... for some children B=1, for others it may be B=843.

You can get these ass-beatings at home from parents who actually don't wish you harm and have your best interests at heart; this is probably best. If you fail to get your required number of ass-whuppin's at home as a child, you will tend to get them later in life from thugs, mugs, cops and outraged citizens, who may not care how much damage they do to you. If your parents failed to beat your ass at home and your universal ass-whuppin constant is too high, you may not survive once you become an adult and find that other adults react very badly to your little temper tantrums, impulse thefts and general brattyness... as in, you may THINK robbing the local convenience store is a neat way to "get back at society" for whatever, and be shocked to find that someone shoots your sorry ass dead.


So yeah, you could say I am in favor of spanking as a child-rearing tool, when properly applied as one element of a total child-rearing package. :mrgreen:

 

[lpast]

Today there was an article today about the parents of a child who was whipped with a coat hanger, backhanded on occasion, forced to sit in scalding hot water, and her mother twisted her nipples until they bled. The little girl was 4 years old when she died.

More than any other time in my life I've encountered out of control children in public places with parents who are too lazy or too stupid or certainly too selfish to raise their own children. When we eat out we ask not to be seated near children.

Last week after returning from a flight I waited to collect my baggage at revolving carousel. Just opposite me was a mom and dad and what looked to be maybe a 4 year old little girl. The little girl was sticking her hand onto the metal carousel the revolved around empty as we all waited for our bags. Easily, easily the child could have gotten her fingers caught in a gap or had her shirt caught in the gap. She could have lost a finger or worse. Several people were watching the parents stood there not talking, but not teaching their child how dangerous such a thing could be. It lasted several minutes. Eventually a gray haired lady walked over and cautioned the parents. I didn't hear what the lady said, but the father in a raised voice said, "Well she just a little girl!" The gray haired woman said, "That is why children have parents." The mom stared harshly at the gray haired woman an pulled her child away from the carousel.

Society is full of dumbass people. Laws have to apply to everyone. Some parents don't know the limits of discipline and others don't know when to start.

When I was a kid all my father had to do was look at me and I stopped what I was doing...same with my kids...I didnt have to pound them to get the to do what they were told...I talked to them and made sure they knew...did I spank them on the heiner once in a while when they were young...yep, but never hard enough to bring them to tears..just to let them know daddy was around.

The first example you gave risky was not corporal punishment it was abuse...and I totally agree that there are too many worthless parents today...it seems every generation has less morals and scruples and common decency.

Im against corporal punishment in schools...but smackin your own kid on the ass isnt out of the question to me either
Telling your kid "YES" to everything is not being a good parent...actually you suck if you do that as a parent and your just lazy...and "BUYING" them everything they want isnt raising them well either...

 

[samsmart]

Your thoughts on how should corporal punishment law look like? Should it be allowed in school or/and at home by parents.
What do you think?

For schools, I think corporal punishment should be done only with the permission of parents, or that the parents should be called down to the school to provide it. I don't think schools should ever inflict corporal punishment without the permission of parents.

Also, I think corporal punishment should be used only on children ages 10 and younger. Older than that, and if the only way you can relate things to a teenage child is by beating the **** out of them then you're a bad parent and should let someone else raise them.

 

[Leo]

Well, I am afraid that I am going against the trend thus far, in saying that I am totally opposed to spanking or beating children in any way. I will qualify this stance by pointing out that I do not consider a single sharp tap on the clothed posterior to constitute beating. I have seen parents administer this in public to get the (usually very small) child's attention. It does not cause pain, but it startles the child enough to stop what it may be doing - often something potentially dangerous.

I can honestly say that during my childhood, I have never been spanked, beaten, or even forcibly struck by an adult. I have been beaten up several times at school by other boys (often deservedly so, because I was an arrogant little smart arse when I was young,) but that is not the same thing.

A number of my friends have been scared of their parents (usually their dads) while they were growing up, and I think that is very unfortunate. I had a very close relationship with my dad (I actually hero-worshipped him a bit,) and he only had to say he was disappointed in me, for my world to collapse. Unfortunately he died when I was still young, so I can't say what our relationship would have been today.

I don't want anyone to think that I was a model child or anything like that. But my parents forbade my nanny from using physical punishment, and my school did not use corporal punishment, so I suffered a series of punishments ranging from being confined to my room without my favourite toys, to interminable hours of detention at school. My nanny also invented the punishment of making me help our head gardener with his duties, but I enjoyed mucking about in the dirt too much, so she discontinued the practice. But she was a crafty old biddy, and exploited my relationship with my dad, by using the ultimate blackmail threat - "If you don't stop that immediately, I shall have to tell Sir William!" The point of all this rambling is to demonstrate that there are other methods of control for children. I may not have suffered pain as a corrective measure, but I suffered seemingly endless boredom for my sins, and I was certainly made aware that I had done wrong.

When I get married and have children, I would hope that they would never, ever be scared of me. I intend to inform my potential wife of my views on rearing children, long before we are married.

Beating children is not only assault and battery, but it is also a form of child abuse, and I want no part in it. I think children have the right to life without pain and fear. Think about it - little children are totally dependent upon their parents for everything necessary to life. Food, shelter, protection, and most importantly, affection. To lose mummy and daddy's affection is the most destructive thing that can happen to a small child. Now think about the effect of your very raison d'etre beating you, and causing pain and fear. Palpable proof of the loss of that affection (to the small child). Not a nice thought, is it?

I am not going to make the claim "I was never beaten, and I turned out all right!" because that is for others to judge, and what is 'turning out all right' anyway?

 

[Aberration]

Well as a parent of a 4 and 1 yr old, me and the wife can't stand parents who don't use corporal punishment. To the point that we don't let our kids associate with them much, as they are out of control and we do not want our kids to learn bad habits.

 

[Ryanm]

I think you don't need to whoop a kid's ass all the time as long as you do it right the first time that you have to and never ever bluff with a child. When that kid learns that you mean what you say and that you have a firm hand and/or unwaivering diligence to keep them in time out etc. (whatever punishment has been chosen) for as long as you say you will when they misbehave then they will learn in about 3 days to listen to you.

The people I always see having to spank their kids are the one's who bluff about punishing them. Then it's ambiguous and the kids aren't sure if the punishment will happen or not so they start testing the waters and then only sometimes get in trouble. If they know they will get in trouble, then it's more motivation to behave.

One simple example (not that this is neccessarily "misbehavior") is when someone says, "if you don't eat your dinner then you won't get dessert." Then the kid doesn't eat the food and still gets dessert anyway. Now the next time the kid hears that line about not getting dessert then she'll know it's likely to be a bunch of b.s. and ignore it.

 

[grip]

I think you don't need to whoop a kid's ass all the time as long as you do it right the first time that you have to and never ever bluff with a child. When that kid learns that you mean what you say and that you have a firm hand and/or unwaivering diligence to keep them in time out etc. (whatever punishment has been chosen) for as long as you say you will when they misbehave then they will learn in about 3 days to listen to you.

The people I always see having to spank their kids are the one's who bluff about punishing them. Then it's ambiguous and the kids aren't sure if the punishment will happen or not so they start testing the waters and then only sometimes get in trouble. If they know they will get in trouble, then it's more motivation to behave.

One simple example (not that this is neccessarily "misbehavior") is when someone says, "if you don't eat your dinner then you won't get dessert." Then the kid doesn't eat the food and still gets dessert anyway. Now the next time the kid hears that line about not getting dessert then she'll know it's likely to be a bunch of b.s. and ignore it.

My father only spanked me twice my whole life causing no serious damage just red heiny, but because of that I knew it was no bluff. My parents had to use the fear of consequences because a child doesn't have the capacity yet to understand why not to do certain things. It taught me thru out life that I will always be held responsible for my actions.

 

[radcen]

I voted for it should be abolished in all spheres. But I’m not certain legislation is the way to go with it quite yet. I personally think it is lazy parenting and it teaches children the wrong lesson. I say that having been spanked when I was a kid and I have spanked my own kids a few times in the past as well. I was wrong to do so. While I do think it is wrong to hit our kids I would have a serious problem with taking children away from their parents for, say, a spanking on the butt or a slap on the hand. I think such separation would be far more damaging to the child than the mild corporal punishment would.

My hope is it will just become less and less common as our culture matures. I don’t think the “I was spanked as a kid and I turned out ok” argument is a valid one.

Based on what I have observed in recent years, I'd say that what masquerades as parenting today is closer to "lazy parenting".

 

[Connery]

Having been with my son since the day he was born, he is 6 years old, I will say that a spanking, when necessary, is a most effective means to get a point across when the child’s mind is filled with thought of “you are not the boss of me” or other such nonsense. I am in my boy’s life to love, guide and prepare him for life. He is not my equal, I am not his friend in as much as I am his father and I have been entrusted to be the custodian of this child’s health, safety and welfare. It is incumbent upon me to act in the best interests of my child. If someone else put there hand son my child they would be reticent to do it ever again to my child or the child of another.

I do not parent by committee; I am the first and last word when it comes to my child. I make it my business to be at his school and get to know who he is friends with, who his teachers are and watch his socialization skills and how he interacts with others. I like my boy and deeply respect him. I truly am the lucky one to have been graced with him in my life.

I would like to tell two stories:

1. I was in a book store a couple of years ago. It was winter and we both were wearing our leather jackets and our fedoras. I asked my son to come with me as it was time to leave and he was reading something and said “no”. I asked him again and my son said “No”. I said enough we are leaving and took him by his hand and started to walk. He pulled away. I get the testing the waters and am a tolerant father, but, this was over the top. I picked him up went to slap him in his butt and hit the leather of the jacket. It made a big sound. I was unaware of anyone looking and I said to him “we are going to the car now”. As it turned out I was followed by a small mob yelling at me that I was a bully and other similar comments. When I got to my car and put my son in the car a woman came up to me and said that I was aggressive. I responded no I am being a parent.
​

2. My son recently said to me that he wanted to be like me and got his NY Yankee hat. Why a Yankee hat? Because I wear hats and it was a gift as I live in the Boston area and come from New York. I do not think I have ever sat and watched a baseball game in my life. Well my son wanted his NY Yankee hat to wear to school I had some trepidation about this as the people in this area consider sports a religion and may give my son some grief over the hat. I picked him up after school and he threw the hat in the car and said he never wanted to wear that hat again. It turns out some teenager was taunting and intimidating my 6 year old. I spoke to a teacher I pull lunch duty with and the teacher considered this bullying due to the age and persistence of the teenager. I then spoke to the principal and she was appropriately horrified and set out to find out who the teenager was.

A few days later I went to a paint store and ordered a particular color blue. The paint guy, a big beefy man with a mechanical arm, said “oh you want Yankee blue”. I was not wearing the Yankee hat. I looked in his eyes and related what happened to my boy, the man was appalled. I needed some more paint and on the way home from school went to pick up more paint. I had my son’s Yankee hat in the car and wore mine. I told my son about the man at the paint store and that I was going to wear the hat because words that are meant to cause fear are nothing but hallow sounds. I knew my son was scared, but, I asked if he wanted to wear the hat to show that man that words meant nothing and we are not going to change because people are rude. I was very proud when my son walked up to the counter and said he was here to pick up Yankee blue paint. As we left, I thanked the paint man for working with me in teaching my son a tough lesson about life.
​

Life lessons require all the tools I have at my disposal whether it is an open hand on the butt or standing tall in the face of adversity.

 

[Surtr]

Your thoughts on how should corporal punishment law look like? Should it be allowed in school or/and at home by parents.
What do you think?

I don't trust the schools to do anything right these days, but parents should be able to tan their kids asses if they **** up. Especially with kids that were as hard headed as I was.

 

[Ikari]

I think you could do it in schools with very large restrictions. But in today's day and age it probably wouldn't fly with the parents because many would be like "why did you hit MY kid, My kid is the best kid ever!" even though their kid may just be a spoiled punk brat. Many times parents have to say these things in order to keep up the delusion that they're good, attentive parents.

 

[Tigger]

I am a strong believer in corporal punishment and always have been. I do believe that it is MOSTLY the responsibility of the parents, but I have no problem with other authority figures (schools, police, etc....) using it as well.

As a society our children have lost almost all respect for authority. I see it in many of the children I'm around on a weekly basis. This weekend especially.... My girlfriend and I spent Saturday at a family wedding with my brother, sister in law, and their three children (ages 1, 2, & 3). For the most part those kids were well behaved; or at least as well behaved as one would expect a child of that age to be. Yesterday on our way home from the wedding we stopped to see her family. All seven of her nieces and nephews were there (ages 4 mo. to 9 years) and the scene was complete and utter chaos. Nobody listening to anything that any adult said. The main difference.... the three on Saturday have had very explicit rules and consequences laid out for them. The seven yesterday have not.

Now, there is a MAJOR difference between corporal punishment and abuse. I am in no way favoring the idea of abusing a child; nor am I suggesting that corporal discipine is the ONLY effective means of disciplining an unruly child.

 

[Connery]

I think you could do it in schools with very large restrictions. But in today's day and age it probably wouldn't fly with the parents because many would be like "why did you hit MY kid, My kid is the best kid ever!" even though their kid may just be a spoiled punk brat. Many times parents have to say these things in order to keep up the delusion that they're good, attentive parents.

Not from my perspective. While I support the rules and disciplinary measures in schools, I would have a real problem with them putting their hands on my son. Indeed, I am more of a disciplinarian than any teacher or school administration could ever be. I went to a catholic school and was thrown down a flight of stairs because my hair had a "windswept look" as the Brother informed me before my unscheduled airborne excursion. In the second grade when I would ask to go to the bathroom, as well as other boys, the teacher would smash the back of our heads into the door or give a nuggie to the top of the head. Such physicality was abusive and arbitrary.

I would never subject my child's health safety and welfare to a place that has corporal punishment.

 

[Tigger]

I would never subject my child's health safety and welfare to a place that has corporal punishment.

I respect your viewpoint on this, but what other recourse to these schools have with kids who do not respond to any of the less "personal" means of discipline?

Both of my parents were educators. My father taught Industrial Arts/Shop for eight and a half years on the high school level before quitting because there was no level of discipline at all in the school system. He'd send the kids to the office and they were back 10 minutes later. On the other hand, he was one of the people that the students were terribly afraid of when it came to breaking up fights (late 1970's - early 1980's) because he had no problem dragging the combatants apart by whatever means were necessary. My mother taught third grade in a Lutheran school for 5 years. They were allowed to use some light corporal punishment and in fact it was the only thing that worked with a number of her students at that time. She went back to substitute teaching in the public school system in the mid-1980's and was agast at the lack of discipline in even elementary school classrooms.

We now have rules in these schools that essentially prevent any meaningful form of discipline of these children. I agree that it's the parents responsibility for the most part, but other than throwing the kid out of school what other measures are there beyond corporal punishment to actually force these parents to deal with the issues?

 

[Ikari]

Not from my perspective. While I support the rules and disciplinary measures in schools, I would have a real problem with them putting their hands on my son. Indeed, I am more of a disciplinarian than any teacher or school administration could ever be. I went to a catholic school and was thrown down a flight of stairs because my hair had a "windswept look" as the Brother informed me before my unscheduled airborne excursion. In the second grade when I would ask to go to the bathroom, as well as other boys, the teacher would smash the back of our heads into the door or give a nuggie to the top of the head. Such physicality was abusive and arbitrary.

I would never subject my child's health safety and welfare to a place that has corporal punishment.

OK, there are certainly limits to what could be done. I don't know, I could see it being reasonable; but perhaps it's just best to not open the can of worms at all.

 

[d0gbreath]

The schools that I went to while growing up that had the worst behaving kids were always the USAF Base schools where 'swats' with a very large wooden paddle were the norm. It was almost backwards. One would think that the common use of corporal punishment would make the kids act better than the 'townie' schools where it wasn't used, but the non-base schools always had the better behaved student body.

Spankings should be applied at home when necessary. I was spanked until I turned six, but the paddle hung on the kitchen wall until I turned thirteen. At that age, grounding my young socializing butt was the worst punishment thinkable. My kids were raised pretty much the same way that I was. Then came the divorce when my Son was only five. His thirteen year old sister, now thirty two, is a well adjusted young woman. My son who will be twenty five this month is not so well adjusted. He didn't get the lickins' that his sister did.

 

[longview]

I think kids want and need boundaries.
There needs to be a clear demarcation line of what is, and is not acceptable behavior.
I went to a Catholic School run by the Dominican sisters, and lived in fear of punishment.
On reflection, every actual punishment I received, I deserved several times over.
Penguins still give me the creeps!

 

[Jerry]

Your thoughts on how should corporal punishment law look like? Should it be allowed in school or/and at home by parents.
What do you think?

Allow whatever you want, just understand that if you strike my child I'll be paying you a visit.

 

[Surtr]

I think kids want and need boundaries.
There needs to be a clear demarcation line of what is, and is not acceptable behavior.
I went to a Catholic School run by the Dominican sisters, and lived in fear of punishment.
On reflection, every actual punishment I received, I deserved several times over.
Penguins still give me the creeps!

I never went to Catholic school, but they creeped me out since the first time I watched the Blues Brothers.

 

[Flippinfunky]

Your thoughts on how should corporal punishment law look like? Should it be allowed in school or/and at home by parents.
What do you think?

I think if parents have to hit their kids, they've clearly lost control of the situation. There are other non violent forms of punishment that work...consistency is the key.

As to schools, any adult lays a HAND on one of my kids and we'll be taking it outside. Seriously, would you hit someone else's kid?