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Busy Bee

So. I start chemo Wednesday. Get a port put in on Tuesday. The chemo will be once every three weeks for three times and then another PET scan. If it's worse, chemo stops. If the same or better, they'll keep it up as long as I want to.

ive been really busy. A trip to the boat now and then...lunches with friends and going over my "stuff" one last time.

I joined the Illinois Cremation Society yesterday. Prepaid for my cremation and filled out the myriad state required forms. The cost is $2300. That, of course, compares to a $10,000 funeral home expense. It includes transporting th body from place of death to the crematory, a fiberboard box for my body as it awaits the state's 48 hour waiting period, a tiny itsy bitsy urn for a few ashes for Tom. It's so cute. An urn that allows for scattering ashes (a regular urn seals permanently and would have to be destroyed to scatter ashes), the cremation, shipping the urn with ashes to a funeral home in Manchester, KY where my ashes will be scattered over mom's grave in the prettiest little cemetery.

Today, I went over all of my paperwork, investments etc to make sure my cousin could understand it all...wrote out a notification list for Tom and Sue on who to let know and how. Described the party I want my cousin to throw for closure for Tom since there won't be a service. Made the guest list and chose the place after a few phone calls. I actually think I'm NUTZ. Hahahaha! Oh, and I wrote my obituary.

i made packets of info for Tom and Sue and have asked them to go thru them and ask any questions they have. Ooo! And the doctor is sending in my medicinal marijuana registration. There's always a silver lining.... ;)

Tom's son and family sent this the other day...

image.jpg

His daughter had Tom's lil' granddaughter draw a card to Gramma with love. So cute.

I've kept really busy and am close to complete peace of mind that I'm leaving things orderly. I've closed up three estates in my lifetime over the last ten years. Each one has been a nightmare. Mine won't be. And that's a good thing!

Thanks for this place to sound off!

:confused::2wave:
 

Redress

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Know you are in my thoughts and prayers as the saying goes.
 

Grand Mal

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I've erased three posts in this window, trying to find words that sound right. All I've got is, I admire you.


What will be, will be.
 

PoS

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Hang in there, Maggie! We're all pulling for you so don't lose hope.
 

Hawkeye10

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I know that Corvette stick shift has 7 gears on it, but damn you dont waste any time.... you go right to 7.

Have you always been this way?
 
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CanadaJohn

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Your plans have two great benefits - one, they take Tom and the extended family off the hook for trying to figure out what you may have wanted after you're gone and the ensuing arguments over the details that would surely come, and two, you keep yourself busy as you say and more importantly in control. There are two types of people in this world - those who want and demand control and those who want to be taken care of - I admire your ability to retain your desire and need to be in control.

Bless you, and I look forward to years and years more of your blog posts on this and then other more pleasant subjects!!!
 

MaggieD

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Hawkeye, love the analogy. Yeah, I've always been that way. The more difficult something seems to be, the more attention it gets. The soonest. As Canada John says, it's about control. I'm not that nutcase you know who makes others miserable, though. Ive known several like that. I'm just healthily neurotic with a dose of being anxious to dive into difficult tasks and get them done.

I see humor in everything, even the dark comedy now playing. It's good for the soul.

Thanks all for letting this be a place where I can talk about what most in real life would find macabre. Until they "get there" and possibly come to understand wanting to leave loved ones in a good place.
 

nota bene

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I'm with CanadaJohn and looking forward to years and years of reading your posts, Maggie. And I remember your posting about your mom (and that guy!! You were so incredibly patient and decent to him) and think you're smart for taking care of business.

This is what my sister did (Stage IV pancreatic and already metastasized) last October. Took care of everything, and she did it HER way. Her widower is still grieving terribly, of course, but at least she saw to it that he didn't have to face the "details."

God's peace to you, Maggie.
 

Chomsky

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I lost my father to a prolonged bout of cancer.

As sad as his leaving was for us, the extended process allowed us as a family to become closer to and with him, and facilitated the closure that we all needed. It turned out to be a time of intense love, introspection, and bonding, and yes - times of joy. We had a chance to say goodbye and extend wishes for the future happy reunion to be, and we all felt blessed for the opportunity.

I wish you the same, Maggie.
 

Rogue Valley

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Hopefully, your well laid plans will reside quietly on a shelf for many many years.

Whatever spirit-force I possess Maggie is directed your way.

:2wave:
 

haymarket

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You know people here admire you and think very highly of you and are wishing that a miracle occurs. Make it happen Maggie - make it happen.
 

Gaztopian

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I stumbled upon your blog post by chance alone. I feel...surrealistic. I'm a newcomer to the place, and even though I had my fair share of bickering and squabbling with a few people in here, I appreciate it a great deal. We didn't interact much, and from the looks of it, we may not have the time, but I recognize the void a pillar of the community like you will leave behind. I wish you rest and eternal peace.
 

Faydra

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I love that you are taking charge of things.

I get it - you don't want anyone you love to have to agonize on these decisions. Even going to the point of writing your own obituary.

That's something. I would love to see what you wrote if you don't mind sharing.

I agree with Simplexity - I hope these plans lay quietly on a shelf for many years, simply unnecessary.

But regardless of the speed with which the inevitable happens, I admire you more and more with every passing day, Maggie.
 

longview

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I hope I have not told you the story before, but when my Mother was making her arrangements,
She told me to scatter her ashes on a ski run called upper lehman in breckenridge, Co.
I told her that ashes on the snow might be too obvious.
She said it would not be her problem!
As it worked out, there was no snow, when we went,
We found a way on the mountain, using the maintenance roads, and drove to upper lehman.
After one of the switchback turns, there appeared a large rainbow in the valley,
and my Dad said, this must be the spot!
 

Black Dog

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I think about you every day. It is hard for me as I have known you since you have been here. So I am going to be blunt. I don't like this and it hurts really bad to see this happen again and again to people I know. I lost my father, aunt and many others to lung cancer. So my prayers are with you as well as my hopes for a miracle. Damn I don't like this at all.
 

reinoe

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O my goodness. You've always been such a wonderful presence here on DP. I don't know what to say except to express how much joy it's been to have you here.
 

Jack Fabulous

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Wow Maggie... I am truly at a loss for words.

I remember when I first arrived at this forum several years ago happening upon some of your posts and thinking to myself what a class act you were. It is now several years later and that opinion has never wavered. You're a class act all the way and will be in my prayers.
 

MaggieD

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I'm just blown away for the wonderful posts on this blog. It does my heart so much good to hear from all of you. Ya'all are keeping my brain busy and well off the worry that should probably be with me every day. It's NOT, and I kind of think you all are an important part of the reason.

I'm very fortunate to know every one of you.
 

Beaudreaux

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Hi Maggs. I just got to the point that I could respond to this newest blog update. I hope your first round of chemo went well, or at least as well as chemo can be expected to go.

I have to agree with Black Dog - I don't like this at all because I don't want you to have to go through this. The hardest part for me right now, reading through your blog posts, is that I can't hug you to let you know how much you're cared for. I, too, think about you every day.

Please accept this virtual hug from me and Yes Ma'am. I'll try not squeeze too hard.
 

Reed95

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You are so strong a woman! I admire you. It could be at times still very hard... I pray for you.
 

Lutherf

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You are a truly remarkable woman, Maggie and I'm positive that others who have had the opportunity to know you even a little bit have benefited greatly from the experience. May your days be filled with the same peace and love you have showed others.
 

Renae

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If there is ANYTHING we can do Maggie, however small, please let us know.
 

SMTA

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Hang in there Maggie.
God bless you throughout this process.
As a cancer survivor, I pray that you may be able to say the same thing someday.
 
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