To take care of your wife and kid, you deal with it, at least until you find something better. I had jobs when I was younger that I hated, and were physically brutal. I worked it because that's all I could get at the time, and bills must be paid, the baby must be fed. I guess it's a generational thing. I could never entertain the idea of food stamps or unemployment while I was able to work. My son practically brags about it. He has one of those cards that took the place of food stamps. No shame at all. I don't get it.
There has been no shame after voting for Trump, twice. I don't get it.
OTOH, I have some experience with what you are going through with your son and I hope he finds his way to a life in which he is able to meet all of his responsibilities and satisfy your hopes for his and your grandchild's future. My son is approaching 40 and was a much bigger eff-up than it sounds like yours has been, so far, except the fathering component. He's benefited from as much good luck as the bad luck and poor decisions that got him arrested more time than I can count on two hands. One example was he was facing a repeat drug possession court hearing when a bomb scare sent those in the court across the street to await the "all clear". He got into a "what are you in for" conversation with someone near him and after explaining what his hearing was about, the person who he was talking to told him he was involved in the case and after reviewing it, if it was as my son claimed, would ask the judge to dismiss it.
Another was a mistaken home invasion in a nearby state. After dropping off his overnight bag at a weekend rental with friends, they went to a nearby bar, ducking in and out to smoke what your son smokes. After too many shots, he left in the pouring rain on a bicycle he saw as he exited. He arrived back at what he thought was the rental, soaking wet, went through the unlocked door, emptied his pocket contents on the bathroom sink, hung up his wet clothes over the tub, and crashed on the living room couch. He awoke at 7:00 am to police pointing a gun in his face, one officer remarked that if this was his house, "I would have shot you". He was charged with invading and trespassing in the wrong house... couple with young children were upstairs. His mother happened to be a cousin of a prominent former prosecutor who contacted his friend, a recent attorney general of the state willing to call in a favor. The result was a high, four figure expense and charges reduced to appropriate (after reduction to simple trespassing) community service.
I'm convinced minorities don't enjoy as frequently the breaks my son has benefited so greatly from, also greatly helped by recent legislation in several states to encourage expungement of marijuana possession arrest records.
My son, aside from competing bouts of bad and good luck and an attitude that the world owed him a living, did take my advice to earn a college degree. It took him nine years to earn a teaching certificate, student teaching in inner city schools as part of a plan to later take advantage of tuition forgiveness of inner city school teachers in designated areas. He also had to get the record of every arrest expunged, mostly, simple possession, (his home burglary arrest record was as a juvenile and is sealed) in at least four states, then passing an FCP check. He accomplished all of that and has been teaching in inner city schools for six years. The lowish pay influences him to work summers and currently as a gig worker, he assembled IKEA furniture for a Task Rabbit client near his school, after classes on Friday, earning $165 for 4-1/2 hours work.
He wants "only the best" and bought a six year old, 80,000 miles from new, luxury badged suv earlier this month. Last month, I purchased
a new, "middle class level" suv with a 60,000 mile new car warranty for $8,000 more than my son paid. He then sold his 12 year old luxury badged suv with 225,000 miles for $4,500 to a Russian immigrant, used car exporter to a former Soviet satellite state.
My point is, do not abandon hope. Our kids are definitely different than we were, I kept reminding my son I had fun but was never arrested once because my neck ached from looking over my shoulder. Your son will surprise you more favorably as time goes by!