I haven't done extensive testing, I always went with the stuff my FBI shooting buddies gave me, the Federal Hydrashock. I used to get the stuff that had passed the "carry life" and (of course it was good for years more) and shot it a lot. On stuff like bowling pins. The recoil was moderate, the accuracy was a good and it was utterly reliable. I don't carry a 45 nor do I have one set up for home defense anymore but I used to have a SW 4505 when my son was little since it had a magazine disconnect on it and I'd keep the magazine in my pocket and even if he managed to get hold of the gun it was unable to fire without a magazine. Remington Golden Sabers and the Hornady Critical defense line of ammo are others that are highly recommended. My wife has 380 GS in her SIG 238 and I have them in my 9mm SIG 938. In the 40 I keep in my car I have 135 Winchester Border Patrol rounds mainly because the 135 allows the fastest follow up shots