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Your opinion....

MaggieD

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Last night, my cousin, mom and I went to a play. We started off at a restaurant where both my cousin and I drove. Then after dinner, I hopped in Sue's car with my mom, and we went to the play. After it was over, Sue drove me back to my car (mom was staying overnight with Sue). The restaurant was closed and the parking lot was about empty. It was about 10:30 PM. Mom wanted something out of my car, so Sue pulled up close to it and I jumped out...ran around my car and grabbed what she wanted out of my back seat. When I rose up, I saw this guy standing in Sue's "space" holding out two puppies to her asking her to pet them...The guy was in his 40's, making general conversation about his dogs.

I instantly went into high alert. He was standing too close to her. WTF was he doing there at 10:30 at night with two puppies trying to socialize them??? I walked around my car, stood back from both of them and just watched him. Never said a word to him, nor he to me. Sue wasn't at all concerned. I was very concerned.

I took out my cellphone and just held it -- he talked a couple more minutes, then walked away toward his car...parked about 50 feet away.

Was I being paranoid? That's my question. We both got into our cars and left. The guy left by another exit.

Would you have been concerned?
 

In today's world I'm on alert, non stop with every stranger. Too many News stories about wackos doing violence for no reason.

If they continue to exhibit normal behavior it lessens my concern but doesn't cause me to drop my guard. As long as you didn't pull out a pistol and holler, "freeze punk!" I think you were justified.
 
I wouldnt have been concerned, but then again I am not the sort of guy that its to mess with.

On the other hand, late at night & in dark, or empty places I go out of my way not to scare women, & Im not sure this guy was quite as sensitive to circumstances.

He may well have just been lonely, or something, it could be 100% innocent, but approaching women in dark empty parking lots isnt best policy.
 
You can't ever be too sure Maggie. I certainly would have been concerned.
 

That's what I think, too. At the very LEAST, he used extremely poor judgment. Honestly, I was so concerned that if I had HAD a gun with me, I would have had my hand on it. I can see that a guy wouldn't have been concerned beyond just 'noticing,' but for a couple of gals and an 85-year-old woman? It was spooky.
 
Gipper said:
Absolutely.
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I felt his approach was akin to going up to a little kid and saying he'd lost a puppy in the park. It was just too bizarre. I'm glad others agree with me. My cousin didn't think anything about it until I talked to her later. WTF was he doing there?
 
You were 100% right to be concerned.
 

I was walking home the other night, walking down a dark street & there was a woman ahead of me & I noticed her looking nervous, & speeding up a little when she noticed the guy behind her in a hoodie (me), so I dropped the hood, slowed a little & crossed to the opposite side of the street, to ease her fears.

Guys need to be aware that they can intimidate, even accidently.
 
MaggieD said:
I felt his approach was akin to going up to a little kid and saying he'd lost a puppy in the park. It was just too bizarre. I'm glad others agree with me. My cousin didn't think anything about it until I talked to her later. WTF was he doing there?
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Oh. I was just concerned that you were going to a play.

However, in that situation, yeah I may have been rather apprehensive. Of course, no woman ever comes up to me and asks me if I want to play with her puppies, so I'd need a frame of reference to know.
 

Boy, was THAT ever the right thing to do. Good thinking. And a nice gesture.

I'm reading a book, "The Gift of Fear." It's a great book -- Ms. Pinkie recommended it. One of the things it talks about is that people intending violence often use our innate sense of wanting to be polite against us. That's what I thought about here -- with the puppies.
 

It makes sense. Otherwise we'd have more men getting assaulted and maced when they approach a woman for directions or wondering what time it is. And God forbid if he wants to go out on a date...
 
I think the only way he could've broadcasted danger better was if he had jumped out of a rape van.

Trust no one, especially old men with puppies or candy.
 
I tend to follow my instincts. They are rarely wrong. I think if your instincts told you something was suspicious, you should listen to them. Good job.
 
I would have been freaked out, too. it's bad to be paranoid, but it's good to be on guard.
 

OK Maggie that's creepy and you were in the right to be alert. What guy stands in a parking lot with two puppies late at night hoping to "talk" with someone? That's creepy and I'd be holding my knife in my pocket just in case. That's a major red flag; you should get yourselves guns for safety. That's just... odd and dubious.
 

I would have been aware at least.
 
Body language is everything. Its an automatic reflex and unless the guy was consciously aware of it all the time and very good at hiding it I dont see much of a problem but
 
MaggieD said:
Was I being paranoid? That's my question. We both got into our cars and left. The guy left by another exit.

Would you have been concerned?
Click to expand...

Yes. That's creepy as hell. I don't, as a general rule, trust anyone who strikes up a conversation with a complete stranger in public; and certainly not someone who does so after dark in a mostly empty parking lot.

On the other hand I'm a city boy, and I tend to assume that anyone I don't know is trying to scam and/or rob me.
 
Sounds like he was just a lonely guy, but you can never be too careful.
 

Better to be cautious then to let your guard down. I would have been on high alert too. Too many people are too trusting and there are lots of people out there who would take advantage of such a situation.
 
He may not, and likely didn't, have any ill intent. But the odds aren't so remote as to invalidate your concern. I think you were right in being wary.

I personally think it was rude of him to approach a strange woman in those circumstances. I am a big guy and I would never approach a woman I didn't know in those circumstances. I have no desire to create an anxiety laden situation. It is why if I am walking at night and I approach a lone woman walking, I will cross to the other side of the road. If I am waiting on an elevator in an empty parking garage late at night and it opens and there is a lone woman in the elevator, I will wait for the next elevator. I fully realize I don't have to do that nor am I obligated to do it. But it helps avoid a nervous situation for her and an awkward situation for me.
 


You were not being paranoid. You had every right to consider the man's behavior suspicious, especially at 10:30pm in a deserted parking lot.

Every person that approaches you WANTS something. Everyone. The problem is, not everyone is up front about WHAT they want. Until you know WHAT they want, you don't know whether you can trust them.

It might be something innocuous, like wanting the simple pleasure of a moment's conversation with you. Or it might be your purse, your car, your ass or your life... but everyone WANTS something.

Don't relax until you're sure you know what that is, bearing in mind that the first presented reason is often a pretext (ie a lie).
 

Your friend was right not to worry....2 puppies? Not alot of robbers or rapists carry puppies around, even child molesters would go with stuffed .
 

You seem to have a real sense of human behavior. You're right. Everyone does want something. That's a really good way to look at things...until you know what it is they really want, be wary. I agree with that. I also think it's really important for all of us to trust our instincts.

Although my cousin told me today she wasn't worried, I told her to ask her hubby what he thought about the situation. She said, "No way!! He'd kill me!! I guess that answers your question!" Yep, it did.

iguanaman said:
Your friend was right not to worry....2 puppies? Not alot of robbers or rapists carry puppies around, even child molesters would go with stuffed .
Click to expand...

Maybe you're right. Maybe he was, as several suggested, just a lonely guy out to strike up a conversation. At 10:30 pm in a deserted parking lot with a couple of gals and an old lady. Ha! Or . . . maybe not.
 
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