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You Might Be a Liberal if...

Mr.America

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You might be a liberal if...

-You accept Michael Moore's conspiracy theories as valid information.

-You think al Qaeda is a type of candy bar.

-CBS is too conservative for you.

-You have never acctually seen Condoleezza Rice, but you make the assumption that she is white.

-Your life long dream is to get your PHD from the electoral collage.

-You think Jimmy Carter is the most intelligant man that ever lived.

-You are always trying to insinuate that George Bush is stupid.

-If you use your emotions oppose to logic when you want to solve a problem.

-You shiver at the sheer mintion of Sean Hannity's name.

-You think an impeachment is a type of fruit.

-You love the French.


Once I think of more "You might be a Liberal if..." jokes I will add them on to the list. Oh, and fell free to add your own too. ;)
 

heyjoeo

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-You are always trying to insinuate that George Bush is stupid.

Bush IS stupid. I'm not insinuating.
 

Rhadamanthus

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-You accept Michael Moore's conspiracy theories as valid information

but there's nothing wrong with all of the conservatives who voted for bush because he's the rugged outdoorsy type? puhleaze.
 

Schweddy

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heyjoeo said:
-You are always trying to insinuate that George Bush is stupid.

Bush IS stupid. I'm not insinuating.
He has a couple of degree's from VERY presigioud schools. Plus, he got voted for Prez 2x. Not so sure he is stupid.

Here is another to add to the list.

- You think Moore voicing his opinion in Ferhenhite 911 is a good thing, but Veterans against Kerry voicing thiers was wrong.
 

Rhadamanthus

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Any one can get a degree from very presdigious schools. All you nead is a rich daddy who used to be president.
 

heyjoeo

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Exactly. Plus I read an interview with a teacher of his, he said he was arrogant and dumb. I trust the guy with the doctorate (can't find the article, read it awhile ago).

The Swift Boat Veterans are full of horse shit. Their attacks are baseless and demoralizing. I raise my patriotic middle finger to them. The crotchity bastards can go back to the nursing home.
 

mixedmedia

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Bush is not stupid. I will give him that. But I think he lacks the vision, compassion and experience necessary to lead the most diverse & prosperous nation in the world.

But then what does a puppet need vision, compassion & experience for?

If there was someone, I don't know, let's say, a hypothetical group - of neocon ideologues with an agenda of Americanizing the world through multinational corporate monopolization and military dominance to serve their own interests and those of other sympathetic avaristic powermongers.

If such a hypothetical group of people were looking for a folksy, plain-talkin' puppet that wouldn't scare off the peasantry with his book learnin' and fancy airs to lead the nation through, wouldn't the qualities of vision, compassion and experience, in the puppet, just get in the way?

Just a thought......and remember: Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they aren't out to get you. ;)
 

heyjoeo

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Nice vocabulary! That was written well. However he is stupid. I'm going to make a thread and just post "Stupid Things that Bush has said." I get one a day with the calander I got for christmas.
 

mixedmedia

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heyjoeo said:
Nice vocabulary! That was written well. However he is stupid. I'm going to make a thread and just post "Stupid Things that Bush has said." I get one a day with the calander I got for christmas.
Thanks, I am a fan of words....they're just great.

I know what you mean, I have one of those calendars, too.

My favorite:

"I've not made up our mind about military action." - 3/6/03, White House press conference

Still, it could be hasty to judge a person as stupid because they can't speak well. Not that he's a rocket scientist or anything...and it is quite a wonder that he made it through Yale. Maybe his brain cells took a beating during those wild cocaine-snortin', drunk-drivin' days. It's been known to happen to many a sound mind.
 

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Nah he is a genius - there is no expectation for him to live up to. I guarantee is likes it that way.

He is just himself. Unlike Clinton that jumped everytime he saw a camera.
 

mixedmedia

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vauge said:
Nah he is a genius - there is no expectation for him to live up to. I guarantee is likes it that way.

He is just himself. Unlike Clinton that jumped everytime he saw a camera.
A genius?!
....surely you jest.
 

liberal1

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Oh yes, Bush is another Einstein isn't he. With making statements like, " Terrorists keep on thinking of new ways of hurting America, and so do we." ( David Lettermen)Did you know every business he ran went bankrupt and now he is ruining America's economy ( about a 2 trillion dollar deficit.) Also, go to howardstern.com for some funny pictures.
 

Schweddy

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liberal1 said:
Oh yes, Bush is another Einstein isn't he. With making statements like, " Terrorists keep on thinking of new ways of hurting America, and so do we." ( David Lettermen)Did you know every business he ran went bankrupt and now he is ruining America's economy ( about a 2 trillion dollar deficit.) Also, go to howardstern.com for some funny pictures.
Donald Trump just went bankrupt in his casino ventures - I guess he is not a great business man either.
 

mixedmedia

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vauge said:
Donald Trump just went bankrupt in his casino ventures - I guess he is not a great business man either.

Well, being that you consider Bush to be a genius I was expecting to hear that he improved on relativity or something.

But, even though I mostly dislike Donald Trump, as I dislike all arrogant men who think their money can make up for their bad hair and obnoxious personalities, at least he MADE some money to go bankrupt with.

I will say that George Bush has much better hair, though.

:drink <--- me, right now
 

Mr.America

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I've always wondered how you can say that Bush is stupid. I think anyone who is cappable of getting into an ivy leauge school has to be intelligant to some degree. :)

And here are some more additions to the list:

-You believe moral decline is actually progression.

-You are still looking for the definition of "is".

-You think being white is politically incorrect.

-You think Ann Coulter is an abomination to man.

-You either don't believe in God or you think Hes a female.
 

Pacridge

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Mr.America said:
I've always wondered how you can say that Bush is stupid. I think anyone who is cappable of getting into an ivy leauge school has to be intelligant to some degree. :)
I don't think the fact that Bush got into any Ivy League School proves he's not an idiot. With family connections like Bush a potato might well be accepted. Unless of course your last name is Quayle, then a "potatoe" would gain admittance. I think the fact that he was a military pilot shows me he's no dummy. You just can't be a complete moron and fly/navigate something as complicated as a jet fighter. And I don't believe family connections would allow him to pass the tests necessary to obtain his flight status. This is why I think Bush is smarter then a lot of people on the left give him credit. Well, that and the fact he's been able to convince so many people so many lies.
 

Rhadamanthus

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he's smarter than a lot of people give him credit for. The way i see it. The guy should be on his ranch playing golf and drinking beer. Not runnining America. Did anyone see the footage of him when he heard that planes had crashed into the world trade center? The poor guy. He looked like he wanted to crall into a ditch with a case of bud light.
 

Urethra Franklin

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No surprise to see French bashing on a site like this.

I propose that the original post is racist.
 

Rhadamanthus

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When you say french bashing do you mean that people are bashing the french, the french are bashing people, or people are being bashed in a french manner.

are the french the bashees, the bashers, or the origins of the bashing technique?
 

Schweddy

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Urethra Franklin said:
No surprise to see French bashing on a site like this.

I propose that the original post is racist.
This forum is of course "On the lighter side" it was truely in jest. I think.
 

Schweddy

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Pacridge said:
But, Vauge, would you have been offended if the "jest" was aimed at a Black person or Jewish person?
Tough question!

How about blond jokes, St. Peter at the gates of heaven, "Your moma", "Texan walks into a bar", or people who make irrational descisions creating a moment of misery - jokes? How far do we stretch that line?

I think it depends on perspective and the context of the joke. Some of the BEST racial jokes I have heard have come from a person of that race for instance. Black Richard Pryor - Jewish Rodney Dangerfield; have been known to say some pretty outlandish things against thier race for a smile or chuckle. If one is not of that race, does it discredit the source and therefore cannot be humorous - even in jest?
 

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vauge said:
Tough question!

How about blond jokes, St. Peter at the gates of heaven, "Your moma", "Texan walks into a bar", or people who make irrational descisions creating a moment of misery - jokes? How far do we stretch that line?

I think it depends on perspective and the context of the joke. Some of the BEST racial jokes I have heard have come from a person of that race for instance. Black Richard Pryor - Jewish Rodney Dangerfield; have been known to say some pretty outlandish things against thier race for a smile or chuckle. If one is not of that race, does it discredit the source and therefore cannot be humorous - even in jest?
It is a tough question. Personally I think we've taken this whole politically correct BS way over the top. To a large degree people should lighten up a little. But even so I wouldn't go out of my way just insult anyone. Well, unless they're a Texan. Then, come on! They're just asking for it (J/K).
 

ConservativeShane

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Illegal Immigrant Poem

I hate the welfare state and I hate illegal immigration. (I love legal immigration, which made this country what it is today.)

ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT POEM

I cross ocean,
poor and broke,
Take bus,
see employment folk.

Nice man treat me
good in there,
Say I need to
see welfare.

Welfare say,
"You come no more,
We send cash
to your front door."

Welfare checks,
they make you wealthy,
Medicaid it keep
Me healthy!

By and by,
I got plenty money,
Thank you, Thank you
American dummy.

I Write to friends
in motherland, to
Tell them 'come
fast as you can.'

They come in turbans
and old Ford trucks,
they buy big house
with their welfare bucks

They come here and
we live together,
More welfare checks,
makes it better!

Fourteen families,
they all moving in,
But neighbor's patience
is wearing thin.

Finally, white guy
moves away,
So I buy his house,
and then I say,

"Find more aliens
to rent that house."
And in the yard
I put a tent.

Send for family
there just trash,
But they too,
draw the welfare cash!

Everything is
very good,
And soon we
own the neighborhood.

We all have hobby
it's called breeding,
and Welfare pays
for baby feeding.

Kids need dentist
Wife need pills
We get them free
We pay no bills!

America's crazy!
They pay all year,
To keep welfare
running here.

We think America
darn good place!
Too darn good for
the white man's race.

If they no like us,
they can scram,
Got lots of room in
Pakistan.
 
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