you are former military, she is not....that is the difference. A civilian should not use a military salute. I am a military brat and learned this...why didn't you? since after all you say you are a vet
Saluting soldiers is not a recommended way to honor current or former members of the Armed Forces. Even members of the Armed Forces
do not salute when out of uniform. A salute is part of the official protocols that active soldiers follow. Outside official duties, the military salute is rarely displayed.
While veterans and active service members may find it cute when a toddler salutes, a salute from an adult civilian may lead to awkwardness. Instead of saluting, most soldiers would agree that civilians should simply wave or say, “thank you for your service.”